Close to Dead
by AnneM.Oliver
Summary: Does he know I'm still here? Am I still here? I feel like an empty shell. If we have a blood bond, you'd think that he'd know that I'm close to cracking up here. I'm close to checking out. I'm as close to dead as a person can get without dying. Sookie/Eric Written after 'Dead & Gone'
1. 1 The Same

**Close to Dead**

**By**

**Anne****M**

* * *

**Chapter One: The Same**

Nothing would ever be the same again. Somehow, I knew it to be true. I guess I always knew it, but I had always been able to deny it until now. Now, it was bare, naked, and staring me straight in the eye. The truth. The future. And it wasn't pretty. It was horrendous, ugly, scary, and if I could turn back time and go back to a few years ago, when vampires and werewolves were from horror movies, and fairies were just from nighttime stories, I would, God help me, I would.

But I can't.

And nothing will ever be the same again.

I don't want to think about the terrors that I've seen, or the things that I felt, or the pain that I went through, but I can't help it. I'm one large open wound, and all I can do is feel.

I'm scared all the time. I walk around my house, and feel scared twenty-four seven. I imagine that someone is behind a chair, waiting for me. I look outside, and I think I see someone, (or something) hiding behind a tree. Every sound I hear in my bed at night is a monster waiting to get me, and the thing is, I know that monsters are real, because monsters have gotten to me before, so I know it could happen again.

I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. Amelia is gone. She blames me for everything that happened, in some odd way. She says she doesn't, but she forgets that I can hear the truth in her head, so she has finally left for her own home. I guess she must have loved Trey more than I realized. Maybe she loved him more than she realized.

Sam has knocked on my door almost every day since I've been home, but I hardly ever answer. Sometimes I go to the door to tell him to go away. Sometimes I open it just a crack, smile at him, but tell him that I'm not up to visitors. Sometimes, on the days when I won't let him in, he talks to me from outside. Sometimes he sits on the porch, and says nothing, and after a while, he leaves. It's just as well. I want everyone to leave. Everyone eventually leaves me anyway.

Jason came right after I got back, right before Great-grandfather left, but that was the last time I saw him, and that's fine with me, too. I don't have the strength or fortitude to deal with him again. I don't even want to be his sister anymore. Husbands and wives can get divorces, why can't brothers and sisters do the same. It makes no never mind. He doesn't seem to be aware that I'm avoiding him.

Bill is still unwell. I know this because Sam has told me so, on one of the many visits where he sits on my porch, and talks to me through the door. Sam must know that I'm on the other side listening. I do miss Sam. He's a good friend. It just hurts too much to have friends. I also hope Bill gets better; after all, he did almost die while trying to save me. That's says a lot.

That's more than I can say for Eric.

Does he know that I'm still here? _Am I still here_? I feel like an empty shell. If our damn blood bond is all that its cracked up to be, you would think that he would know that I'm close to cracking up. I'm close to losing it all. I'm close to checking out. In other words, I'm as close to dead as a person can get without dying.

I don't mean to be unfair, but I can't get over the fact that I called, and cried, and screamed his name until I was hoarse, the whole while those evil fairies had their way with me, and he didn't come. I wanted him more than I wanted anyone, and he didn't come for me. He didn't save me. He sent Bill and Grandfather. At least he did that much, I suppose. He might have a good reason why he didn't come, but he hasn't deemed it important enough to tell it to me yet.

Sure, he gave me blood to heal me, but knowing Eric, he didn't do it for altruistic reasons. I remember the word, 'altruistic' from my word a day calendar the year Gran died, and it means that I'm sure he didn't do it for anyone but himself. The first week I was back, things seemed fine between us, but since then, since I've had time to think of things, consider things, mull things over, I've concluded that anything we've felt for each other was false. It was only because of the stupid, blood bond.

Because I thought, I really believed that I loved him. I never admitted as much to anyone, not even myself, but I did, I loved him, but he didn't love me enough to come and save me.

Maybe he couldn't. Maybe he was busy that night. I don't care. Remember, I don't care about anything, anymore.

I stood in the shower that morning until the water ran cold, thinking about how much I don't care anymore. When it ran cold, I still stood there. I stood there until I began to shiver. I heard my phone ring, I turned off the water, and I still stood there. I knew my answering machine was full, so whoever it was couldn't leave a message. I hadn't turned on my cell phone for days.

Eventually, I would have to leave this house, pay bills, get some groceries, run to Wal-Mart, (I was real low on toilet paper), but not today. I stepped out of the tub, placed a nightgown over my body, and threw myself on top of my unmade bed and closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew, someone was stroking my forehead, and it felt so good to have someone touch me, show me some care, show me any type of compassion, that I didn't even question who or what it was. I knew I should. After all, I had been afraid of my own shadow for days, and as soon as I realized that I should be afraid, and that I wasn't, I realized why I wasn't. It was because it was he.

I wasn't afraid because he made me feel safe. He made me feel loved and happy, even when I knew deep in my heart that I would never be safe, happy or loved ever again. Even if it wasn't real, and I know it's not real.

He bent down and kissed my forehead. "Are you finally awake?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. What a stupid question. Couldn't he see that I was awake?

"You've been avoiding the land of the living for two weeks now, dear one," he said softly. His hand went from my now dry hair, down my shoulder, to my hand. He lifted it, smelled my wrist, (which I thought was odd) and then he kissed my open palm. "What is wrong, Sookie?"

I looked up into his blue eyes, and I said, "Nothing will ever be the same again, Eric."


	2. 2 Cold Hard Truth

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 2: Cold Hard Truth:**

"What is wrong, Sookie?" Eric asked, looking down at me with what I can only describe as pity. Oh no, I didn't want his pity.

I looked up into his blue eyes, and I said, "Nothing will ever be the same again, Eric."

He dropped my hand, but then pulled me so that I was sitting up against him, my back against his chest. He moved so effortlessly, so that he was up against the headboard of my grandmother's old bed. He said, "I've lived over a thousand years, Sookie, and I can safely say that you are correct. Nothing ever will be the same again. Nothing ever stays the same. I am as certain of that as I am of anything. Do you really want things to be the same? What kind of life would that be? For me, it would be a long, boring life."

"For me, it would be a safe, happy one," I said softly. I moved away from him, because I felt I had to, because he made me feel _too_ safe and happy, and I wanted to wallow in self-pity a little while longer. I stood up and looked at him and said, "I wish things were different," before he could comment I explained, "I know, I know, I just more or less said I wanted things to stay the same, but what I meant was, I wish things would go back to the way they were before."

"Before you knew me?" he asked, as self-centered as ever.

"Before I knew there were vampires, supes, fairies, everything," I elaborated.

"Especially fairies," he said steadily. Yeah, especially fairies. I would never know where children authors got their ideas that fairies were wonderful, beautiful, happy, ethereal creatures with wings that floated around, granting people wishes. Oh, they were beautiful. I had never met a fairy that wasn't beautiful, but that was the only attribute they had to recommend them.

I rubbed my hand over my face. I felt tired, even though I had slept most of the day. He scooted off the bed and stood over me. He said, "There is something you wanted to ask me, is there not?"

"No," I said, unenthusiastically. "There's nothin' I want from you, Eric. Nothin' at all." I walked out of the bedroom, toward the kitchen. He followed. There was nothing I wanted in the kitchen, so I walked out of the kitchen, back to the foyer, and into the living room. He was still hot on my tail. It was hard not to notice a six foot five, blonde haired, former Viking, vampire, that was for sure. Apparently, we were going to talk, whether I wanted to or not.

I sat on the couch, and he stood in the doorway, arms folded in front, leaning on the doorframe. He smiled and then out of the blue he said, "Pam thinks you need an intervention."

"WHAT?" I yelled, almost full of the indignation that I was sure I was supposed to feel.

"It is when your friends and family all confront you…" he started.

"No." I stood and stopped him, my hand out in front of me. "I know what a damn intervention is! Why would she think that?"

"She says you're, and I quote, 'depressed and suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder', and she's spoken to your flea-ridden boss, and he apparently agrees." He still had a smile on his face. I was glad someone thought this was amusing. He sat down on the couch, and pulled on my wrist so that I was forced to sit down beside him.

He said, "She wanted to call someone named, Dr. Phil, but apparently he was not available to come see a telepathic, waitress, with fairy blood, from Bon Temps, Louisiana." His fingers laced through mine, and his thumb rubbed back and forth on the top of my hand. I felt my anger ebb slowly away. He said, "She meant well. I refused to let her do that to you. She had it planned for tonight, sans Dr. Phil. She found a vampire psychologist to come with her, who specializes in humans who have been abused and used by members of the supernatural community. I decided to come instead. I decided all you needed was me."

"Well, aren't you Mr. High and Mighty," I said. High-handed, son-of-a bitch. I pulled my hand from his, well aware that if he hadn't wanted to relinquish it, he wouldn't have. I sighed, stood up, and started to walk away.

"Where are you going, Lover?" he asked. "This house is small, and I will follow you from room to room if necessary."

"Fine!" I practically shouted, having decided to face the big Viking in the room head on, (that's a metaphor for 'facing the elephant in the room' by the way). "Where were you when those fairies took me? Where were you when they tortured me, because, Eric, that's what they did! I cannot even begin to describe everything they did to me! Where were you?"

He stood up. "Ah, so it's time for that talk, is it?"

What did he expect? Wasn't that what he meant? I threw my hands up in the air and said, "Never mind! It doesn't make a lick of difference to me! Its makes no never mind. I'm tired. Go home, or go back to Fangtasia. You didn't come when I needed you then, so why come now?"

He suddenly seemed angry. I felt his anger through our bond, but more than that, I saw the plethora of emotions cross his face…fury, anger, even pain. He grabbed my wrist, not causing hurt, but I knew I wouldn't be able to wrench it from his grasp this time.

I was close to rescinding his invitation to my house, but that seemed a bit harsh. Instead, I leaned into him. I think that was unexpected by us both. I rested my cheek on his chest. He let go of my wrist and he stroked my back, gently. He brought his hands to my face, framed it even as he brought it up to look into his and he said, "I know I wasn't there when you needed me. I am sorry, Sookie. Is that what you want to hear?"

"I want to know why," I said, holding back tears, because I really didn't want to cry anymore.

It didn't matter what I wanted, because the tears came anyway, and he kissed the first one that fell, almost before it hit my cheek, and then he kissed the second one, as it made a trail from my eye to my nose. He kept my face in his hands and said, "I'll tell you where I was, but it's going to be a cold, hard truth, Sookie. Are you ready for it?"

"Eric, I figure if I haven't already died from everything that has been thrown at me, a few words from you won't kill me," I said. He closed his eyes for a moment, before he gazed back into my eyes. His look was one I couldn't decipher, but I didn't need to be a mind reader to know what he was about to do. His stare dropped to my throat, then my breasts, and then back to my eyes. Then his head lowered, and he kissed me. One thing was certain, I would never, ever, in all my days, be tired of Eric Northman's kisses.

When he was done, too soon by my estimation, he pulled me to the foyer. I wondered where he was leading us. He sat me on the stairs, and then he walked up a few, and then sat behind me, his legs to each side of my body. He wrapped his arms around me. I had a feeling he put us in this position so he wouldn't have to look me in the eye as he told me his truth, which was fine with me, because at that moment, I didn't give a damn.

I felt happy, safe, and loved again, just because HIS arms were around me! At that moment, he could have told me that he couldn't come rescue me because he was balancing his checkbook, or he was cutting his toenails, and I'm not sure I would care. Nevertheless, the cold hard truth was that he wouldn't always be there to make me feel this way, and he had already proved that.

Therefore, I said, "Explain."


	3. 3 Why

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 3: Why?**

Eric sat behind me on the stairs with his arms around me, and even though at this moment I felt safe and warm, I realized I would not always feel that way. He had already proved to me that he wouldn't always be there for me.

Therefore, I took a deep breath and then I said, "Explain." I looked over my shoulder and said, "Tell me why you couldn't bother to come save me in my hour of darkness."

"Oh dear, you are being dramatic, aren't you?" he said, though he said it without humor. I felt anger at his flippant attitude, and I tried to stand up, but he kept me from going anywhere by tightening the band of his arms around me. He said, "That was unfair of me, but if you are going to keep assuming that I didn't come to you because it was a choice, then I will assume that you really don't want to hear the real reason I couldn't come."

I thought to myself, 'Fair enough,' but aloud, I said, "Fine." I hung my head slightly. He loosened his hold, and placed his cheek against mine.

He said, "I really had hoped I could completely avoid this conversation, but I knew from the outset that was a baseless dream. I am dealing with you, after all. Sookie, the woman who must know everything to be happy." He smiled. I looked back at him. He let go of me, and I took the opportunity to sit beside him on the fourth step from the bottom. Funny, his feet could touch the floor from here, and of course, mine couldn't.

"You had to know I would ask this eventually," I stated.

"But since we had not broached the subject yet, I had hoped you had seen fit to leave it all be," he said.

He was talking in that old fashion way he did when he was serious about something, or angry. Who says 'broach' these days? For that matter, who says, 'leave it be?' He took my hand and gently played with my fingers. It was when he did little things like this, absentminded little things, that meant the most to me. I wasn't sure why. His hands were cold, but still, I felt warmer than I had in days.

"Eric, please, tell me," I said.

He kissed my hand, then my arm, then the crook of my arm, at the bend of my elbow. He placed my arm back on my lap, stood up, as if he suddenly couldn't stand to touch me, and with his back to me, he crossed over to stand by the doorway to the living room. He said, "I felt your pain, dear one. I felt it all. Each and every thing they did to you. I felt each tear cried. Each drop of bloodshed, I felt. I shared it all, and I thought I would go mad." He turned to me. "I nearly did, you know."

No, I didn't know. How was I to know? He had never told me any of this yet.

He continued, but this time, he crossed back to me. He pulled me up to stand. He led me back to the living room, to the couch. He seemed as restless now as I was earlier. We sat down so he could finish his story.

"Victor and Felipe were there that night, as were several other Nevada vamps. They had been informed that a Fairy War was taking place in their territory, and they wanted to come to make sure we would not get dragged into it, and that none of our investments would be affected."

"Did that include me?" I asked.

"In a sense, although they didn't know you were involved," he said. "There's the rub. I couldn't let them know. Even as you were being taken to a shack and being tortured in Arkansas, I had to assure them that we were not involved in any way, shape or form. When Bill called me, it was tricky. It was hard to relay the information to him about your grandfather, but I managed. Victor was watching me especially close."

He stopped, and swallowed, a reflex that seemed forced. Then he sighed and said, "Yes, as they were torturing you, I was well aware, yet I was offering drinks and entertainment to our king and his entourage." He bowed his head and winced.

"You couldn't excuse yourself for a moment, make up something, and come to me?" I asked. It sounded like a good plan to me.

He shook his head and grasped my hands, somewhat hard, and just the expression on his face caused me to start crying again. I knew from that one expression that he couldn't, damn him. "Sookie, I would have been followed. No one, especially Felipe or Victor, must ever know that Niall is your great-grandfather. They must never know that we suffered losses in the war because of your involvement with fairies."

"Hey, that's not my fault! I had nothing to do with Clancy's death!" I shouted.

"I know, lover," he said, "and believe me, they were given a good cover story for that."

"So what if people know about Niall?" I asked.

"Oh, Sookie," he said, as if he was speaking to a five year old. In a sense, he was, if you think about the difference in our ages. He let go of my hands and stood up. "They must never know of your fairy blood! They must never know the prince is your grandfather. Remember, I told you he has more enemies than friends, and he does, believe me, he does. I might not ever be able to protect you, if that was made common knowledge. It would be very bad for all of us. And it would not only be the vampires who would want you, my lover."

"But why?" I asked, as I stood. "Anyway, how much worse could things get for me?"

He laughed, though it wasn't a true laugh, and he said, "You do not really want me to answer that question, do you, loved one?" I sat back down and he joined me.

He said, "I sent Bill, and your great-grandfather, because I knew they would save you, and they did. It was all I could do at the time. If the Nevada bloodsuckers had suspected that our bond was as strong as it was, that I could feel your suffering from such a great distance, they would be troubled, let me tell you."

"Troubled, how?" I asked.

He seemed like he didn't want to keep talking. He rubbed his face with his hands and said, "Sookie!" almost as if he was reprimanding me. If he didn't want to keep talking, he only had to say the word. I didn't start this conversation, he did.

He paced in front of me. "Blood bonds between vampires are one thing. Between master and child, they are very strong. If I was your master, and you were my child, I could summon you; feel you, from almost any distance. Blood bonds between humans and vampires are much, much weaker and usually only work one way. The vampire can feel the human, but the human usually can't feel the vampire, and the bond can't go beyond a few miles, and it is almost never more than a slight feeling."

He sat down again, but didn't touch me this time. "Whether our bond is stronger because of your telepathy, or your fairy blood, or the amount of times we've shared blood, I have no clue, but I could not let them know that I felt you from such a distance, or that I felt you so strongly. I could not let them know that I felt your pain and suffering. I could not risk it."

"So that's your reason? Your bosses would have been mad at you?" I asked.

He stood up and pulled me up by my shoulders. He shook me as if I were a rag doll. He said, "Is that all you heard?" I started to cry again, and for once, he said, "Save the tears, Sookie!" He pushed me back onto the sofa and said, "Yes! Everything I do has a reason! You should know that by now! Yes, I am selfish! Yes, I am self-centered! Yes, I think of myself first, and my self-preservation comes first! And yes, the reason I did not tell them that you were being held by fairies, and that you were the granddaughter of the fairy prince, and that I had to save you, was to save myself, but by all that is holy and by all that is evil, Sookie, it was to save you, too!"

He said, "Can you not see that, you ungrateful, girl? Can you not see what is in front of you? Do you want them to take you from me, make you their slave, and make you do their bidding, and turn you against your will, for they would? You would be turned into a vampire, with either Felipe or Victor as your master. I want to protect you for yourself, and yes, for me too, because I want you intact for me!"

"WHY?" I yelled, standing back up, tears flowing freely.

"I will not answer that question right now and frankly, I do not have to!" he said with anger. He pushed me back down with one hand. I was getting tired of all this up and down action. He walked away from me, and stood by the windows. He looked outside and said, "I knew those bastards were hurting you, perhaps killing you, but I did not know to what extent." He turned back to me. "I did not know it was that bad, my lover. No, that is a lie. I knew it was that bad, but I did what I did, and I cannot change things. Remember, we already established that things can not go back to the way they were."

He rushed over to me, kneeled by the couch, and placed his large hands on my cheeks, framing my face. His blue eyes stared right inside mine. In hushed tones he said, "I was dying inside, knowing you were calling for me, crying for me to save you, and knowing that I could not go to you. Twice, no…three times, I almost left anyway. I did. If you decide you can never forgive me, I understand, but if you cannot, you must tell me now, and rescind my invitation to your home, so that we severe all ties, because I cannot be with you, if you hate me."

I stopped crying to consider this. Could I forgive him? Did I want to? Was his excuse good enough? Did I hate him?

"Know this, Sookie, I will answer your 'why' question now. The reason I did all the things that I did is that I love you. There, I finally said it. I did what I had to do, and I love you. What do you say in return, Sookie? Do you forgive me? Do you love me, back?"

Well, hell, wasn't that a mighty fine 'howdy-do'. What _would_ I say in to that?


	4. 4 Sleep of the Dead

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 4: Sleep of the Dead:**

I was slightly surprised he put the "I love you" before the "I did what I had to do", because that was so out of his character. I really didn't know what I was going to say in return. Was he sorry? That was the million-dollar question. Did he say that he was? If he did, I missed it somehow.

Then, as if on cue, he said, "I am sorry, lover. Please, forgive me. You know, I never grovel, so keep in mind that this is not groveling." He smiled a wicked smile. I almost smiled back. Taking a more serious tone he said, "I will do a better job protecting you in the future, if that will help make up your mind to forgive me."

"Will I need protecting in the future?" I asked, slightly alarmed.

"Oh, yes," he said with a slight laugh. His smile slipped off his face, and he suddenly looked in pain again. He sat beside me on the couch, and kissed me with the softest, most tender kiss he had ever given me and he said, "You really will, Sookie. We will discuss that at length tomorrow."

Well, like that's what I wanted to hear.

Therefore, the way I figured it, I had a lot to consider. First, did I love him back? Of course I did, so the real question was, did I want to tell him. Again, the more I considered that, I knew he probably already knew the answer to that through our bond, but it wouldn't hurt for me to say it, because he said it to me, and it was mighty nice to hear.

Second, did I forgive him? I was still angry. I was still hurt. I still didn't fully understand his explanation. It's not that I'm not smart, because I'm very smart. I'm smart enough to see his reasons; I'm just human enough to think that he should have had other options. I still didn't see that he couldn't have come up with other alternatives, but his reasons seemed somewhat sound, so I did forgive him, or at least, I think I would eventually forgive him.

The third thing bothered me the most and it was something I wish he hadn't brought up. My life was forever changed, for the worse, and it would never get better. I would always be beholding to him, I would always need protecting, and I would live in fear for the rest of my days.

He sensed everything I was thinking, damn him. He pulled me onto his lap, in that gentle way of his. He said, "You love me, Sookie, and if you don't forgive me yet, you will soon. I will try hard to protect you now and in the future. I will do a better job, I promise. No one is ever going to kill you lover. No one is ever taking you away from me. Remember, I am too selfish to let you go." He began to thread his fingers through my hair.

"No one is going to kill me tonight, at least, right?" I asked, vaguely.

"Probably not," he said with a smirk.

"Then I guess I love you, too, Eric," I finally said, because I wanted to say it.

"You guess?" he said with a slightly, cocky expression.

"Yeah, I suppose," I said, seriously.

"Then, I suppose that makes me happy," he said with a bemused smile.

"What do we do now?" I asked.

"Seeing as it is a few hours until dawn, and I still have something very important to do before I rest, and you need to start to heal, on the inside, or in the words of Pam, and Dr. Phil, you need to learn to feel again, Sookie," he said, smiling still, "then I think it is time that I go. But I think we have time for this." He cupped my cheek, and gave me a big old kiss. It felt so nice, that I let him keep kissing me. He moved to lie on the couch with me on top of him.

He lifted my face and I said, "Sometimes, I wish I knew what you were thinking."

"I highly doubt that. If you had known what I was thinking about you from the beginning, you would have run far, far way, terrified and afraid." He laughed. I didn't know what to make of that.

I asked, "Because your thoughts were what, so bad?"

"Not bad, but not pure, lover," he said. "From the moment you came into my bar with Bill, I knew you would be mine someday, but if you had seen the many ways I imagined making you mine in the beginning, you would have been shocked and appalled."

"Hell, Eric, everything you do shocks and appalls me," I said, only slightly joking.

He said, "Ask me what I'm thinking now, Sookie."

"Why? Just tell me," I said, touching his cheek softly.

"But I want you to ask me," he said. "Since you cannot read my mind, you must ask me what I am thinking, dear one."

"Fine, Mr. 'I Must Always be in Control', what are you thinking?" I asked him, my head on his chest.

"I am thinking that I would rather never know what it is like to be without you, now that you are mine. I am thinking that if anything happens to you again, I would rather meet the sun, than live even one more year without you in my life. That's what I'm thinking."

And all I thought was, 'Wow.'

He turned us slightly on the couch, so that we were in the same position, and I was in front of him, and his back was against the sofa cushions. I felt his breath brush the back of my neck. I turned my head to look at him and I wasn't sure what I wanted to say to him, but I felt I should say something to that statement, because it was probably the most profound thing he had ever said to me. Before I could conjure up what to say, however, a little shiver went through me when he started to kiss my neck. He was one hell of a kisser. I always thought so. Oh yes, this was nice.

"Sookie," he said huskily, against my neck.

"Hmmm?" I hummed back, my mind already imagining all the wonderful things his mouth was going to do to me.

"I cannot stay with you tonight, as much as I would like to do so," he said. However, his hands came up to cup my breasts. Still, he kissed my cheek once more, and then he pushed me away, and stood up from the couch. He said, "I really do have to leave."

"Okay," I said, somewhat mad. I can't believe I thought I was about to sleep with him, and that I was going to forgive him, and that I just told him that _I loved him_, and he was leaving me, just like that, with no explanation. "So, I suppose I'll see you sometime soon," I said, cryptically. I walked out of the living room, and back to the bedroom. He followed, and I knew he would, and that was the reason I slammed the bedroom door, right…in…his…face. Then just to be mean, I locked it for good measure.

I was angry, and I wasn't sure why. Yes, I was. He and I were supposed to make sweet, tender love right now. We had just declared our love for the other, for crying out loud! He had just told me some earth-shattering revelation, and our relationship was permanently altered, and then without a by your leave, he was like: "I have to leave, because once again, I have better things to do."

Fine, so go already.

I tore off my nightgown, and walked to the bathroom to take a shower, because I didn't know what else to do. I thought it was ironic that this was how this whole thing started, with me taking a shower. I turned on the water, and wrapped my body with a towel. I placed my hand under the steady stream, moving it back and forth, as I adjusted the water, first the hot, then the cold, to make sure it was just right.

I turned to go back to my bedroom and I froze on the spot.

He was staring at me from the middle of my bedroom. I thought he looked guilty. He sure as hell didn't knock on the door, and I knew he didn't have a key, so he should feel guilty. His gaze traveled from my eyes to my breasts, to the very small towel, then down my legs.

I thought, 'I'm still pissed, so I'm going in for the kill,' so I said, "I thought you had to go. So go already. Just go. I don't want you here anyway."

His eyes danced back up my body, with a look that I hate to admit, was lovingly. He reached me in two strides. His right hand went to the front of the towel, and he yanked it hard. It wafted quickly down to the floor, landing by my feet.

"I have a moment before I have to go," he said.

"Well, I was just about to take a shower," I said, standing there unabashed, though I wasn't as proud of my body as I used to be. It was slimmer, though that was never a problem for me, and it had numerous scars and deep bruises, which even after his healing blood were still apparent.

I hung my head.

As if he could sense my shame, he walked up to me and lifted my chin. He looked at my naked body, then back to my eyes and he said one word, and he couldn't have picked a better word if he had tried. He said, "Perfect."

Before I could say a word, he swooped in, took me in his arms, and covered my lips with his. I almost felt as if he was going to eat my face off, he was that intent. He deepened the kiss, as his hands slid all around my body. One hand flattened against my spine, while the other tangled in my hair. While his arm was still around my body, he lifted his mouth from mine, reached around me, and turned off the shower. Then he lifted me up, and pushed me against the wall.

"Don't you have to leave?" I asked.

"Aren't you sweet?" he said, repeating a phrase he said when he first met me. He didn't really mean it back then, and I was sure he didn't mean it now.

Every feeling I thought had left my body roared back to life at that moment. Every dark void, every empty feeling, was filled. All the love that he acknowledged for me, was blatantly clear, and forced on me, blinding all of my senses, as his mouth and hands traveled the valleys and planes of my body.

His tongue invaded my mouth, and I moaned as he awoke passion and desire that I thought were dead inside me, along with every other decaying emotion and feeling. As my breasts pressed against his chest, and he filled me with his full length, I felt as if I was coming to life again, and it felt better than it should have.

I think I was asking for something from him, silently, without knowing what it was I even needed, and he fulfilled every request and need I had, and then some. His hands held my waist, and he urged me closer and closer to my release, until I started to cry, but these were happy, joyful tears.

His head fell to the crook of my neck. I knew he wanted to bite. I could feel his teeth rasp against the tender skin there, and I swear, I wanted him to bite me. I waited for it. I held still for him. I offered myself to him. Nevertheless, he declined. I wasn't too offended.

We made love right there against the wall, standing up, him fully dressed, me completely naked, and it was the best sex I ever had, and it was the perfect way to end the evening.

He carried me to my bed, and I actually pointed back to the bathroom and said, "I really need that shower now."

"No, lover, you need to sleep now. I'll return tomorrow evening. We still have more to discuss. When you awake, Sam, will be here, and I would like you to do me a favor, and let him come in this time. He needs to talk to you about something important, okay?" He didn't wait for me to answer. He merely kissed my forehead, pulled my covers over my body, and then stood to leave. He said, "Sleep now, lover. Sleep."

I did. I slept, and for the first time since my ordeal with the fairies, I didn't have one nightmare. I slept the sleep of the dead…in other words, I dreamt of Eric Northman all night long.


	5. 5 Hand in Hand

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 5: Hand in Hand:**

I slept soundly. The sound of someone knocking on my door the next morning was what finally woke me up. I sat up in bed, looked at my clock, expecting it to say something in the vicinity of seven am, so imagine my shock when the clock said 9:27 am. I bounded from the bed, ran to the door, the whole time wondering how it was that I slept so long and so soundly, since it was the first time I had done so in weeks.

Before I even got to the door, the answer to my sleep question popped into my head. It was because Eric came to me last night. That was why I slept so soundly.

I looked out the window first, because even though I was well rested, I still wasn't a fool, and I saw that it was Sam. I remembered that Eric had told me that Sam had something to tell me. I also recalled thinking at the time that was an odd thing for Eric to say, because, since when were Eric and Sam so close that they discussed 'things'? I was curious last night when Eric told me this, and I was doubly so now. I couldn't wait to open the door.

"Sam," I began, "come in, come in." I moved to the side, opening the door wide. He stepped over the threshold and leaned toward me. He placed a hand on my arm and kissed my cheek.

"Hello, cher," he said.

I pointed toward the hallway and said, "Do you mind?" He nodded, knowingly, and walked toward my kitchen. I ran down the hallway, to my bedroom. I made my bed quickly, because I couldn't stand an unmade bed, then I took the quickest shower on record. I dressed in comfortable jeans and t-shirt, brushed my hair, my teeth, and then I looked at myself in the mirror. It really was amazing how much better a visit from Eric, a bit of vampire sex, and a nice hot shower could make a person feel.

I did feel better. How odd was that. What, one visit from Eric and I was cured? Surely not. I would examine my mood swings later. Now it was time to see what Sam needed.

I walked into the kitchen and smiled immediately. Sam turned from the stove and said, "I hope scrambled eggs are okay, Sook."

"You made me breakfast?" I asked, shocked.

He nodded and motioned for me to sit. He placed a plate in front of me, and it looked delicious. "I would have made bacon, but you're in desperate need of food."

"I know, Sam," I said, shoveling the eggs into my mouth. He poured me some coffee, and then some for him, and then he sat down beside me. He let me eat without saying a word to me. Silence is sometimes bliss, but when a person's anxiously waiting to hear news from another person, it can be a bitch. Finally, I finished my food, and pushed my now empty plate away from me.

The whole time I ate, I could feel the tangle of his emotions, though I could not decipher a single meaning. I always did find Sam hard to read, but even a non-telepath could tell that he had something important to say, though he didn't want to say it. He seemed a bit more open today, so his guard was slightly down, so I could tell that much.

"You have something important to tell me, Eric says, and I can tell that you don't want to say whatever it is, but just know this, Sam, whatever it is, it's okay," I said, to give him courage.

He picked up my plate, placed it in the sink and said, "God, Sookie, don't try to make me feel better, because that will just make me feel worse." He turned to look at me and leaned against the counter. "Eric came to see you last night, huh?"

"Yes he did," I concurred.

He glared at me a bit and then said, "You seem to be feeling a bit better, so I guess that's good." He sat back down next to me and said, "I've been real worried."

"Don't worry about me," I said plainly. "How's the bar?"

"Same ole, same ole," he said smiling. He took my hand. "Listen, Sookie, a man came to see me while you've been recuperating. He was looking for you. It was right after you came back. He was asking all about you around town, and I guess a lot of people told him that you worked for me, so he came to the bar."

"Who is this man?" I asked.

"Well, he didn't exactly give his name at first," Sam said. "He came to the bar, asked for you, and I told him you were in a bad car accident, since that was our cover story for your injuries. He asked if I knew where you lived. I told him I did, but that you didn't need anyone bothering you. I asked him if I could help him."

"And?" I asked.

Sam took a deep breath, and he swallowed hard. "He said that he knew your cousin Hadley. He said, he said…" Sam stopped.

"What Sam?"

"He said, actually, that he was a relative of yours, but that he only knew Hadley. He said that after she died, he found out about you."

I felt tightness in my chest. It honestly felt as if there was a vise grip tightening around my heart. I could hear Sam's previously jumbled thoughts clearly now. This man wasn't a man. He was a fairy. No. No. NO! I stood up. He stood up.

"Does he know how to find me?" As soon as I asked that question, I felt stupid. If he didn't know where I was yet, he could find out soon enough.

Sam said, "Don't be freaked out, Sookie. Sit back down, and let me explain everything to you. I didn't tell him anything at first. I let him tell me some things, and then, because you were so fragile, I told him I would get back to him. I went to see the Viking first, and told him everything the man told me. That was when he told me everything there was to know about you and fairies."

"You know?" I asked in a small voice, as we both sat back down.

The red rage of Sam's mind came at me full force. He clenched his teeth, and stood up so quickly I was startled. He pulled me into his embrace and said, "If I had known those fucking fairies had taken you, and what they had done to you…I would have, I would have tried, hell, Sookie, I would have done anything. I'm so sorry."

Now I felt somewhat sad again, but mostly, I was sad because Sam was filled with sadness and remorse. He was trying to comfort me, but I wanted to comfort him. He continued to rock me back and forth in his arms, and he said, "Eric told me all about your great-grandfather, and how your grandmother met Fintan."

He pushed me away and we sat back down. I wasn't sure I wanted everyone to know about my grandmother's infidelities, but I also knew that Sam would never tell a single soul.

"What did this man tell you? Who did he say he was?" I asked, wanting to get to the meat and potatoes of the story.

"After I spoke with Eric, I agreed to meet this man again. I acted as if I still didn't know anything about fairies and your connection to them. I tried to get him to tell me what he wanted with you, but he wouldn't tell me anything, so in the end, I told him he could give me a message for you, and I would give it to you, and that was the most I could do for him."

"Okay," I said slowly. "What was his message?"

"He said, 'Tell her that Fintan had other children.' I acted as if I didn't know who Fintan was and I asked him to clarify, but he shook his head and said again, 'Just tell her that Fintan had other children, and that she has other family, and that I knew who and what Hadley was, and I know what she is, and I want to meet her.' Then he gave me this card," he took a card out of his pocket, "and asked me to give it to you. He turned to leave and then said, 'One more thing. Tell her I know what happened to her, and tell her that I would never, ever hurt her as others have.' And then he left."

I looked at this average looking business card for a very long time. As much as I wanted family, which was almost more than I wanted anything, I never wanted anything to do with fairies ever again. I fingered the embossed name on the front of the card. 'Larkin Talkington' it said. There was two numbers underneath the name.

I looked up and said, "Does Eric know this story?"

Sam nodded and said, "He has _people _looking into it." Sam said the word, 'people' with just a bit of disdain and absolutely dripping with sarcasm. "He did tell me that after I told you, in his words, 'my little tale,' I was to tell you that you were not to contact this man under any circumstances, unless and until, he told you to do so."

"Oh really?" I said, trying to sound indignant, although I sounded uninterested instead, though the truth was that I was slightly afraid, and I did not intend to contact this 'man'. I began to wonder if he would wait for me to call him, or if he would call me first. Sam, though no mind reader, must have sensed my fear.

"Sookie, you don't have to worry about this man contacting you," he said.

"How do you know?" I asked. I placed the perfect little, cream coloured, heavy cardstock, lightly embossed, printed card face down on the kitchen counter. If I felt like a self-imposed prisoner in my own home before, I now felt like I was just given a life sentence. I said, "He's bound to know where I live by now. He could come here any time of the day or night, knock on my door, and even if I don't let him in, it wouldn't matter. He's not a vampire. He wouldn't have to wait for an invitation, and something tells me he's more fairy than human, so he probably has special gifts, so how do I know he wouldn't convince me to let him in? Or maybe, he has super strength, and he could huff and puff and blow my door down!"

I was starting to panic, and I hated it. I backed away from Sam, my hands out in front of me. I was hyperventilating. Sam felt my fear, it rebounded off him, and back toward me, and I felt even worse. I shouted, "When will it end? When will I be safe?"

"Sookie," he pleaded with his hands out in front of him, as an offer of peace. "You are well protected, and your protection will not cease. Didn't Eric tell you any of this last night?"

I couldn't speak, for fear of crying, so I merely shook my head no. "Sookie, there are Shifters and Weres watching you all day long, and Vamps watching you at night."

"Who arranged all of that?" I asked.

"Eric," he answered, matter of fact.

Of course he did. I couldn't feel anger, because frankly, I felt relieved. I said, "This is too much to process right now. Listen, Sam, will you go with me to the store? I need a few things, I mean, unless you need to get to the bar." I was going to ignore the situation for the moment. I still need toilet paper. I longed for the days when things like that were important and pressing.

"I'm all yours, Sook," he said with a smile. I could try to read more into that statement, but my plate was full enough as it was. I told him to let me get my jacket and purse. He told me he would wait for me by the front door.

I met him by the door and I scanned the yard as soon as we walked outside. I asked, "Who's watching me today?"

"Well, I am, of course," he said. He smiled again, and held out his hand to me. I smiled back, placed my hand in his and we walked that way to his truck, hand in hand.


	6. 6 High Time

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 6: High Time:**

I always seem to get the shopping carts with the squeaky wheels. I hate that. I would get another one, but I already had this one laden with so much stuff, that I was a bit too lazy to change it now. Sam was walking ahead of me, talking amicably, putting things in my cart, asking me if I needed bread, did I need toilet paper, (yes and yes) and I got a flash of a future that I knew I would never have. This was what normal people did.

Normal people went shopping at Wal-Mart. Normal people walked along the aisles, talking about what they needed and didn't need, wondering if they needed paper towels or bleach, wondering if they should buy the shampoo that was on sale, or should they spend the extra dollar and get the brand they like. Normal people did these things. Not people like me. I would never be normal.

Sam pulled the cart as I pushed it. It was unnecessary for him to do so, it wasn't exactly heavy or hard to push, but it was just the type of thing Sam did for me. It was the type of thing that a boyfriend did for his girlfriend, or a husband did for a wife, and once again, I was struck with a sort of melancholy when I realized that I would never have that little bit of normalcy. And I was jealous of every single person out there who had it. Damn them all.

I stopped pushing the cart, and Sam must have noticed, because though he was still pulling it, he looked back. "Something wrong, Sook?" he asked.

"I need to go back."

"Home?" he asked, approaching me with concern.

I tried to smile. Putting on plastic smiles was my specialty, my forte. I said, "No, back to the toiletry aisle. I need tampons." I didn't, but I knew Sam wouldn't follow me if I said the 'T' word. Sam was like any man in that aspect. Squeamish about female things.

"Oh, well, I'll be over here, looking at paint samples. I'm thinking of painting the living room in the trailer," he said with a smile. "I'll be right here though, okay?" He knew I would be safe in Wal-Mart. I smiled and went over to the feminine protection aisle.

I perused the aisle for a moment, not really looking at anything, and then I stopped. I turned from the shelves, and everything blurred. I wanted a normal life. Why was everything unfair? I took a few heavy breaths to calm my nerves, and to keep from crying in front of the maxi pads, when I heard, "Excuse me, Miss, are you okay?"

That was when I knew.

Time stood still.

That's an overused expression, and who knows what it really means, but I swear by all that is holy, and perhaps by all that isn't, it really felt as if time stood still, right there among the pads, tampons, and vaginal creams. I turned toward the voice, and looked into the eyes of the most handsome man I had ever seen, and I've seen plenty, especially since having known Eric and Bill. I thought perhaps that it was an angel. If it was, that meant I must have died and gone to heaven, which meant that at least my soul wasn't lost yet, which really had been a concern of mine over the last year or so.

He smiled at me. Everything seemed so much brighter, and lighter, and every other synonym a person can use for the word, 'light' just because he smiled. He asked again, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," I managed to say, though even to my ears, it sounded more like a breathless rush of air, than a word.

He smiled again. He placed one hand on my arm, and the other cupped my cheek. That in itself was odd, since he was a virtual stranger, but at least that strange action broke the spell that I seemed to be under, because the instant that he touched me, I knew who he was, because all fairies love to touch people, and I knew he wasn't an angel, but a devil in disguise.

I backed up so suddenly, with his hand still on my arm that I knocked hard into the shelf. I hit my hip with such a force, that I cried out, and knocked things off the shelf onto the floor. I slipped to the ugly, white tile floor, and looked up, and he was gone.

Sam heard me yelp, all the way over in the paint aisle. He ran toward me, but when he reached me, I was alone.

His hands went to my arms, he yanked me up, and he asked, "Sookie, what happened? What's wrong?"

"He was here, he was right here. Did you see him?"

"See who?" Sam asked. He looked to the right and to the left.

I shook by head. Maybe I imagined it. I wouldn't put anything past me. After all, what would a fairy need with tampons? I bent down to pick up the things on the floor, but Sam said, "Leave them."

He gently steered me out of the aisle, and back toward our cart. He must have believed me, because he took us to the checkout, and he kept looking over his shoulder the whole time. When we got to his truck, he loaded me in the cab first, and then he locked my door before slamming it hard. He put everything in the back, and he got in.

He looked at me and said, "What did he say to you?"

I looked at Sam and said, "It doesn't matter." I turned my head toward the window, and I began to cry. Sam reached over and stroked my hair. I never knew why I cried these days. I wasn't sure I ever needed a reason. Maybe it was because I was mourning the things I would never have. Maybe it was because Sam was the best friend I ever had, and because even at my craziest, he always believed me. Maybe because in that briefest of moments, I didn't think that fairy or man, or whatever he was, was going to hurt me, and heaven help me, I wanted a family, and he seemed to care, no matter how brief his concern.

Once at home, Sam unloaded my things and then he said he had to get to the bar. He kissed the top of my head, as I sat at the table, and he said, "Don't fear, Sookie. Someone is out there watching you, and Eric will probably call you later. I'll call him and tell him what happened in the store."

"No!" I said frantically, finally finding my voice and courage. I stood up and said, "Please, don't worry Eric. Nothing happened. I was probably imagining things. No one was even there, I'm sure."

"Sookie, what did this man look like?" Sam asked me.

I waited, and then I knew I couldn't lie. "He was the most breathtaking, handsome man, I've ever seen, and I know Eric Northman, so that's saying something. He had hair that colour of winter wheat, and it was to his shoulders, and somewhat wavy. He had brown eyes, with green specks. He had white teeth, and a kind smile. He wasn't as tall as Eric, but he was tall and well built, and he smelled really good."

I wasn't embarrassed saying these frank things to Sam. It was the truth, after all. In addition, I knew without a doubt that it was this Larkin Talkington, because Sam hadn't moved a muscle since I had finished talking. Sam swallowed hard, grabbed my shoulders and said, "I don't want you to answer the door to anyone, do you hear me? No one! Don't answer the phone, either. I'll get Terry to staff the bar tonight. I'll come back here, until Eric or one of the other Vamps can come."

He stormed out the door.

I ran to the open door and yelled, "Sam? Sam?" It was too late. He was in his truck, the wheels spinning gravel as he sped out of the driveway.

I slammed the door shut and locked it tight. Then I ran to my kitchen, to look for anything I might have to protect me from fairies. I figured it was high time I began to protect myself, since everyone else had done such a horrible job of it in the past.


	7. 7 Then I Screamed

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 7: Then I Screamed**

I sat at my kitchen table with a yellow legal pad, a purple gel pen, a can of diet Dr. Pepper, potato chips, an old iron ladle and a lemon. The old ladle was one of the few things I had made of iron that I had from my grandmother. She used to use it to make lye soap, and I knew that if I needed a weapon against a fairy, it would serve me as well as that old iron gardening tool. The lemon wasn't much good by itself, unless I threw it at a fairy and hit it in the eye, but just having it near made me feel safer. The Dr. Pepper reminded me of everything bad I had faced since I had become a vampire-loving girl, (and, I really liked the taste) and the legal pad and gel pen were for a list.

I was making a list of all the things I missed before vampires came into my life. I titled the list, "BVL", or "Before Vampire List". Short, but succinct, I know. Number one was my grandmother. I missed my grandmother something awful. Sometimes her death hit me as hard as if it just happened yesterday. I wondered if I would still feel this raw, this hurt, and this painful, another year from now, another two, or another three. Five? Ten? I didn't know. I missed her. I really did. I missed everything about her.

I missed how I used to come home from work, and find her waiting up for me. Sometimes we would talk about my day; sometimes she would just smile at me, kiss my hair, and pat my hand. I missed how much she loved me.

I missed her cooking. That sounds shallow, but I know I will never taste another pecan pie as good as Gran's. I missed her biscuits and gravy. I missed her scrambled eggs. I don't know what she did to make them different, but they were, and mine didn't taste as good.

I mostly missed the fact that there was always someone around who cared for me, no matter what, I never had to question her true feelings, and I never had to try to read her, because I just knew how she felt, because of the way she acted.

I missed other things besides my grandmother. I missed having normal days off work. I missed laying outside in the sun, I missed spending all morning long in bed if I wanted, I missed rainy days when I could stay in my nightgown and watch a romantic movie on the VCR. I missed days when I could clean the house, and have that alone feel like it was a feeling of accomplishment. I missed reading a good book, just for the sake of reading.

I missed the days when the worst thing there was to be afraid of was a mouse, a spider, or a thunderstorm.

To be fair, I should make another list. An "AVL". That's an 'After Vampire List', thank you very much. However, I wasn't in the mood. I wasn't feeling very charitable toward any supes right now, so I didn't want to give them any credit for any of my present happiness, or future happiness, as the case might be. Perhaps I should change the list from "BVL" to "BSL" because I'm fairly certain that my life was better before I knew shape shifters, Weres, and fairies, too, and don't get me started on goblins, demons, and the like.

I balled the list and threw it over my shoulder and I swear I made a basket when it hit the side of the trashcan and went right in! That one little success caused me to smile. That smile turned to a frown when I heard a knock on my backdoor. I picked up the lemon, cursed, placed it back on the table, picked up the iron ladle, and went to the backdoor. I looked out the curtain. It was the man from the store.

It was the fairy. Damn!

I backed away from the door, and began to feel lightheaded. I was breathing hard, and I realized it was still a good hour until sundown. Sam claimed someone was watching me, but just as I suspected, someone was doing a piss-poor job once again.

Then, the man called my name.

"Miss Stackhouse? Are you there?"

Damn!

"Miss Stackhouse?"

I hated being southern, because I swear, my southern upbringing absolutely forced me to be polite and answer the son-of-a-bitch at my backdoor.

"Yes?" I responded finally, iron ladle tightly in my grasp.

"May I speak with you? I know you already know who I am, because your former boss told you all about me. My name is Larkin, and I'm a sort of distant relative of yours. You have no reason to trust me, but I hope you will. Please, may we speak?"

"Go ahead, I can hear you," I said tautly. Okay, that wasn't too polite, but just because I had good manners didn't mean I was stupid.

"Please, Miss Stackhouse, will you open the door? I know you went through a terrible tragedy, and you have no reason to trust me. I promise you, if you open the door, I'll go to the edge of your back porch, past the steps, and I'll speak to you from there."

"If that's the case, you can talk behind a door," I contended.

He was quiet for a moment when he finally said, "I suppose you are right, and I know you are weary of all fairies, although I'm not one-hundred percent fairy. I have human blood, too."

"How nice for you," I returned, somewhat sarcastically. "How did you find me?"

"This is a small town," he stated matter-of-factly from behind the door. "It wasn't hard."

I wanted to ask him how he got past 'my guards' but since I had no clue who was guarding me, I wouldn't ask that. "What's your name?" I asked hesitantly. I already knew, but that always seemed to be a good starting place when a person was meeting another person.

"I go by Larkin."

That sounded odd. Instead of, 'My name is Larkin', he said, 'I go by Larkin'. Odd. "I'm Sookie," I returned, suddenly feeling stupid. I grimaced. He must know that.

"May I call you that?" he asked.

I frowned. I suppose he could do a whole host of things, including bang my door down if he so wanted, so I replied, "Alright."

"Sookie, did your former boss explain to you who and what I am?" he inquired.

"A bit and I have to tell you, that doesn't exactly recommend you to me in my book. I'm not real keen on fairies, if you would pardon me for saying so," I answered coolly.

He was quiet again. "I understand," he retreated behind a heavy sigh. "Sookie, I hope you someday learn to trust me. I hope you let me get to know you, and I get to know you as well. I hope you will let me talk to you, unencumbered by a door, someday. I also want you to know that I need to warn you to stay away from the vampires."

"Why?" I blurted, a bit put out. Sure, vampires weren't always on the top of my list, but at least none of them had tortured and tried to kill me lately.

"I do want to tell you, but not like this, not with a piece of wood between us. Please, understand, that I warn you with the utmost sincerity and with the most humble regards," he charmed in a very old-fashioned way. Still, for some reason, his veiled putdown of vampires made me angry.

"Maybe, someday," I offered, because it was the polite things to say, because he sounded so damn sincere, and because, hell, I wanted to believe he really cared about me. I looked out the curtain, using the old iron ladle to pull back the flowered material of the drapes. He was really quite beautiful. I didn't think he saw the movement, because he was looking in the other direction. I continued, "Maybe someday; we could meet at my boyfriend's bar. It's in Shreveport. It's called Fangtasia."

I knew we could never meet there, because he was part fairy, and that was a vampire bar, but I wanted him to know that I was close to a vampire, because he was warning me against them, and I was being a bit bullheaded. I guess I was happy that I was in an "AV" part of my life right now (After Vampire), and not "BV" (Before Vampire).

I was still peeking out of the small hole in the curtain, but as soon as I said the thing about my boyfriend's bar, he turned slightly and looked me right in the eye. He said with some reproach, "Sookie, you know that will never happen, and I know you speak of Eric Northman, and he's the one I need to warn you against. He will hurt you. He _will._ You must stay away from him. Please, let me in, and I will explain." He took a small step closer to the door. I dropped the curtain, backed away, and then I let out a little scream when I saw the door handle jiggle.

I put a chair under the door handle, (couldn't hurt, right?) and then I ran to my purse, which was on my bed. I dumped out everything, and found my phone. I cursed the fact that I hadn't turned it on today. I waited the extra moment it took to turn it on, and then I dialed the number I had memorized. I knew it would go to his voice mail, because he was still asleep, but I wanted to call him first. If I died, I wanted him to hear my voice one last time. I would call him, tell him goodbye, and then call Sam.

"Hello?"

"Eric?" I asked uncertainly. What the hell? I looked outside. Still light. The knocking at the door started again.

"Hello, lover."

"Eric, why are you awake? _How_ are you awake? It's still light for another hour or so," I said, my words feathered with challenge. The knocking became more persistent.

"Is this the reason for your call, my love? Did you want to tell me the time? I have a clock for that very same reason, dear heart," he purred warmly.

I felt like throwing the phone against the wall. "No, but, never mind. Listen, Sam said someone is supposed to be watching me, right?"

"Yes," he replied, a bit more guarded. "Why?"

"Well, whoever it is, I hope you get your money back, because they are doing a terrible, terrible job of it! First this fairy comes up to me in Wal-Mart, and now he's at my backdoor!"

"WHAT?"

Now I was waiting for _that_ reaction. "That's right Eric. The fairy is here, and he wants me to open the door and let him in, because he wants to warn me against you of all people! Now, I want to know what _you_ want me to do. I have an old iron ladle." I looked down at the ladle in my other hand and even I realized the absurdity of that comment.

"Where's the mongrel?" Eric snarled.

"He had to go to the bar!" I shouted. "Don't go blaming Sam! He got me right out of the store when he realized that the fairy came up to me. The fairy touched my cheek, and I fell down …" I didn't say another word, because I heard Eric scream a long line of curses and cuss words, and I knew for certain that some were in English, and some weren't, but the English ones were the worst words I had ever heard Eric utter. He usually had a better vocabulary than that.

"HE TOUCHED YOU!"

"Eric?" I prodded. "He's at the door now. What do I do?"

"Do not be afraid, lover," Eric said. I could hear his car door shutting.

"Eric, you can't go out! It's not bright out, but it's still daylight! Please, I don't want you to get hurt. Just tell me what I should do. I mean, if he wanted to hurt me, he would have done it earlier, at the store, wouldn't he have? And, he could get in the house if he really wanted to, right? Fairies don't have to wait for an invitation, do they?"

I heard his car switching gears.

"Eric?"

"I'll be there soon. Stay on the phone," he said in a voice that was so steady I wasn't sure what scared me the most … his voice, or the fact that the knocking had stopped.

"Eric? I think he went away." I ventured out of the bedroom, toward the hall, and into the kitchen. I stood and listened and I didn't hear anymore knocking.

"Sookie, stay away from the door," Eric warned. "I'm right outside of Bon Temps."

"My God, Eric, how fast are you driving?" I asked.

"At the moment, 120 mph, why?" he asked provocatively.

"Geesh, Eric," I fretted. I walked up to the backdoor, and with the iron ladle still in my hand, I pulled back the curtain at the backdoor.

Then I screamed.


	8. 8 Kiss my Butt

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 8: Kiss my Butt**

I walked up to the backdoor, and with the iron ladle still in my hand, I pulled back the curtain at the backdoor and then I screamed.

"Hey, Sis," my brother said from the other side of the door. "Do you want to let me in?"

"JASON STACKHOUSE!" I bellowed. "What in the hell are you doing out there?"

"Calvin has me watching you today, well, not really. A Were named Malcolm was supposed to be watching you, but then he got sick, and I told him you were my sister, so I took over. They don't even have me on the rotation, and you're my sister, for God's sake!"

"I don't need you to watch me, and don't use the Lord's name like that," I reproached.

"Are you going to let me in?" he asked again, totally ignoring my preaching and proclamations.

I pressed my nose up against the glass and looked around. "Jason," I began, "was there just a man out here?"

"Yeah, you mean Larkin Talkington?" he asked, all innocent like.

I stared right at my big brother, incredulously, and said, "How do you know his name?"

"He told me. I spoke to him a few days ago. Found out he's a cousin of sorts to us. I told him where you lived. This time the fairy guy came to _me_ first, instead of coming to you first. He said he wanted to get to know us. Why?" he asked.

I let the curtain drop and wished for the millionth time in my life that I was born an only child. I wondered if I should call Eric again, but when I opened the curtain back, I saw his red Corvette fly into the back driveway, rocks and pebbles flying everywhere. I looked up at the sky and blessed my soul, because at least now it was a reassuring shade of gray.

"Jason, go away!" I hissed. "Eric's here."

Eric opened his door, got out smoothly, slammed it shut, and stormed up to the back porch. He towered over my brother and demanded, "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, this is my house," Jason stiffened.

From the other side of the door I barked, "No, it's my house!"

"I will ask you once more, Stackhouse, what are you doing here?" Eric asked, with a voice that meant business.

"I'm the one assigned to watch her tonight, though I hardly know what all the fuss is about. If we're guarding her against our cousin Larkin, I have to say, I met the guy, and he seems okay."

Before I knew what was happening, Eric had Jason at least five feet off the ground. I dropped the iron ladle and my phone right on the floor, unlocked the door, and flung it open. Eric had Jason pinned against the wall, and I swore I heard him growl.

I put my hand on Eric's shoulder and I said carefully, "No, Eric."

He looked down at me, intensity banked, and said, "Are you sure? I know you sometimes wish to be an only child."

Damn that blood bond. He even knew my wishes. Jason said, "Ah, it's a might uncomfortable up here, and besides, I think Larkin wants to talk to Sookie. He's right there behind us."

Eric dropped Jason, I'm sure harder than was necessary, and turned quickly, but not before he put me behind his body.

"Northman," Larkin called. He stayed in the yard, and the outside yard light had already come on, and it cast an eerie glow all around him. Eric pressed me up against the outside wall on the porch so tightly I thought I might suffocate.

"Larkin," Eric parried back. "You are forbidden to come near Sookie. You know that. The prince forbade it before he left."

"True," Larkin acknowledged. I moved slightly so I could see him, and I saw him smile. He looked right at me as he continued. "However, the prince crossed over, did he not? He no longer rules over the fairies that remain on earth."

"That does not mean you have a choice to go against his edict," Eric announced.

"Being part fae, I actually don't have to follow any of his laws. I only followed them while Fintan was alive, and the Prince was earthbound, because I feared them both slightly," he admitted. "I fear no one now."

Eric let off a small laugh. "You should." Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was smiling, and I knew that smile showed a hint of fang.

"You?" Larkin asked. "I would never fear you, Northman."

"Again," Eric said evenly, with a lazy drawl, "You should."

I pulled on Eric's sleeve and said, "Would someone like to tell me what's going on?"

Jason was still on the floor and he grumbled, "I wouldn't mind knowing either." He stood up and said, "I met this guy a few times, and he's a grandson of our grandfather and some woman who was part fairy and part human. He told me the whole story."

Eric looked at Jason and insisted, "Your presence is no longer needed, Stackhouse. Leave."

"Like I said before, I don't take orders from you!" Jason said, with what I was sure was false bravado.

Larkin smiled at him and said, "Perhaps, cousin, you should leave, and let me speak with Eric and Sookie for a moment. I will visit with you another time."

"Fine, fine, but I'm supposed to watch her until midnight, and then Bill is taking over, and it's only seven-thirty," Jason complained.

"Bill?" I asked. I moved from behind Eric, and he slipped his arm protectively around me. "Is he all better?"

"Mostly better." He looked at Jason and said, "Get word to him that I will take his watch tonight."

And then I swear, Eric sighed. It was such a human thing to do, and for a man, or whatever he was, who hadn't been human for over a thousand years, it was such an odd thing for him to do. It was even an odd thing for me to notice.

"Bye, Sook," Jason said. "See ya, Cuz," he nodded to Larkin. He hopped off the porch and ran through the woods.

"Well, Northman, shall we talk?" Larkin asked.

"Not tonight," Eric said, decisively. "I shall explain some things to Sookie first."

"You mean you want to skew the truth first," Larkin provoked.

"I really don't like people talking about me like I'm not even here," I pointed out.

Eric, whose arm was still tightly around me, looked down at me and said, "I am sorry, lover. I am remiss not to include you in our conversation." He looked back at Larkin and said, "You will leave, or not live to see the light of day. I could kill you so easily, it would not even be a challenge for me."

The other man smiled, and for the first time, I didn't think he looked beautiful, but a bit evil, and I became afraid. Eric picked up on my thoughts right away and he put me back behind his body, and he moved us so that I was in front of the back door. I could slip inside easily, if I wanted. It was nice to have someone anticipate your every mood.

"Don't be afraid of me, Sookie," Larkin urged, as if he too could pick up on my thoughts. "I am not like those other fairies, the ones that hurt you. In fact, I am trying to keep people from hurting and using you. This vampire is using you for his own person gain, and I'm not sure how much longer he thinks he can hide things from the other vampires."

"You will not address her at all," Eric commanded. "I am tired of this. Leave now, or die now. Those are your only options."

"Eric," I said from behind him. "Don't kill him. Just make him leave, please."

"I'll leave, for now," the man said. He turned and started to walk away, but then he turned back and said, "Ask your boyfriend how it was that he was able to come out while it was still daytime, my dear Sookie. I think you will find it very enlightening, since it has to do with you. He's using you, you know. That's all he's doing."

And then it happened. Eric bounded from the porch so fast that he was a whirl of white light and flesh and he had the fairy Larkin pinned to a tree across the side of the yard. And the fairy, while he seemed helpless against Eric, didn't seem afraid. He was still smiling, and they were speaking to each other in low voices so that I couldn't hear. Finally, Eric let go of the man's neck, and Larkin brushed the front of his jacket and shirt with his hands. He nodded his head twice and then took off toward the woods. Eric stayed planted in the yard, watching him, until he was out of sight.

He turned to me, and it seemed almost as if he was afraid to approach me. I swallowed hard before he came up on the porch.

"What in the world was all of that?" I fixedly stared, pointing toward the woods. "What did you say to each other? Why did he just leave like that? Is he coming back? Is he the reason everyone is watching me? Am I in danger?"

"You ask way too many questions, my loved one," he teased. He grabbed my wrist, and walked into the backdoor. He picked up my phone and iron ladle, and he locked my backdoor. He looked in the refrigerator and said, "No blood for me? You aren't a very good hostess, are you? I'll have some delivered."

"Eric?"

He opened his phone and I said his name again, but he put up his hand to 'hush' me. He said something low into the phone. I rather doubted he was ordering blood from anywhere, but frankly, I didn't really care. He closed the phone and moved to the living room. He sat down on the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He actually closed his eyes, and placed his head on the back of the couch. His arm went over his closed eyes.

"Eric? Please, what was that about back there?"

"I'm weak," he protested by way of explanation. "Wait until I get my blood. I went out while the sun was not yet completely set, and it's done some damage. Please."

He seemed strong enough when he lifted my brother, and again when he pushed the fairy across the yard and against the tree. I wondered if he was faking, just so I wouldn't question him. I decided to test my theory. He remained motionless, his arm across his eyes, his head on the back of the couch. He was practically lifeless, as if he was on vampire downtime. I looked around the room and I saw an old snow globe that I got when I was fifteen from the state fair. I picked it up and hurled it right at his head.

He caught it with the hand that was over his eyes, without any effort at all. He didn't even have to look. He didn't flinch. Yeah, he was faking. He looked at me, and smiled with an impish smile. "You knew I was faking?" he asked evenly.

"The old blood bond works both ways, Mister," I said. "Tell me, why were you able to go out in the daytime, without any real damage. Does it have to do with what Larkin wanted me to know?"

"Come here, Sookie," he murmured invitingly. He crooked his finger toward me.

"No," I said, like a spoiled brat. "Just tell me."

"Lover, I want you," he said smokily.

"Yeah, right, like that will work any better than the old, 'I'm weak from the daylight' trick," I huffed with a roll of my eyes.

"Please, Sookie, I've missed you," he persisted. His smile was alluring, his eyes bright, and I admit, I felt a tingling all over.

"What will happen when I get over there?" I asked, coming slightly closer.

"I plan to make love to you," he said, matter of fact.

"Are you ever going to answer my questions?" I pleaded, although I knew he wasn't planning to, at least, not at this point.

"Not right now," he confirmed.

"Fine, then I'll get my answers from Larkin. Thanks for coming, Eric," I said flatly. I turned to leave the room, but wouldn't you know it, that super fast vampire was already off the couch, and standing right there behind me, blocking my way, so that I couldn't leave the room.

"May I have a kiss first?" he whispered. He was leaning over me, and his breath tickled my cheek.

"You know what, until I get answers to the questions I have, you can just kiss my big southern butt," I replied tartly. I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed me by the waist, picked me up, and though I was kicking and hitting him, he walked with me to the couch, where he sat down with me across his lap. Then he dipped his head, and I'll be damned if that stupid Viking didn't kiss my butt cheek, right on top of my jeans.

Then he turned me over so fast, that I felt dizzy. He was on top of me, though he was careful as always not to press his weight on me. He nuzzled my neck and said, "I'll answer all your questions, but first, yield to me, lover. I want you. Do you want me as much as I want you, Sookie?"

Well now, wasn't that a stupid question?


	9. 9 Well, Hell

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 9: Well, Hell**

I was lying underneath Eric on my couch and his mouth was next to my neck. I could feel his cool lips on my skin. He had just asked me if I wanted him as much as he wanted me, and then before I could even answer his stupid question, his tongue came out and licked the long column of my neck, from my ear to my shoulder.

His voice was a caress. "Tell me what you want, lover. I will do it." He licked me again. I was melting like butter on a piece of hot corn on the cob, on an even hotter summer day. I know I literally quivered under him, because he chuckled, low in his throat. "Is that sign language for fuck me, lover?" he rumbled in pleasure.

I pushed on his shoulders, and looked him square in the eyes and said, "Don't be crude, and yes, it was." Hell, I couldn't help it. Part of me was still a good girl, and part of me was now a wanton.

His lips trailed down my neck, lingering on the pulse-point. He brought his face back to mine and his hands framed my face as he kissed me hard and long on the mouth. He then lifted my shirt right over my head, and before I could say 'please' he removed my bra, too.

His tongue laved my nipple, even as his large hand cupped my left breast. I couldn't help but to arch toward him, especially when he paid the same attention to the other one. My hands threaded his hair and held on as he traveled farther down my body.

I tell you the pleasure that former Viking could show me with just his tongue and lips and teeth was mind-blowing. Soon, I was withering, and screaming, and squirming, and humming … yes, humming. It was almost like he was fine tuning me, so I was humming with delight, and I was sure I was even on key.

He divested me of the rest of my clothes and his own, and, after worshipping every single inch of me, he looked at me and sighed, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing."

During my courtship with Bill, he had said plenty of romantic things to me, but Eric didn't usually waste time with flowery words, so if he said something it was the truth, or at least the truth as far as Eric was concerned. Therefore, when he said to me that I was the most beautiful woman he had ever known, he meant it, and that meant more to me than I could find words for.

It was no surprise then when he finally entered me, his right hand holding my left leg over his hip, his left arm holding most of his weight off of my body, and his eyes staring right into mine, that I started to cry. I lost all self-control, and as he rocked his hips and stroked me, over and over and over, I cried and cried and cried, and I felt so stupid, but he understood.

When the waves of our orgasm ended, at the same time mind you, it was perfect. He turned so that he was on his back, and I was lying face down on top of him, both of us naked on my sofa. My tears still rained down, only now they soaked his chest.

His hands went in lazy circles over my back and butt, and I felt sticky and sweaty, but oh so resplendent. He lifted my head in his gentle hands, eyes locking with mine and he smiled. "No more tears. I know."

And he did. And I think he would have known why I was crying whether we had the blood bond or not, because no matter what, no one had ever loved me as much as Eric loved me. He was a ruthless, selfish, self-centered creature who loved me.

I didn't know what to do with that. I think I have always been in a bit of denial, and hearing his proclamation while we were having our quickie on the couch finally confirmed what I have been afraid of for a long time. It confirmed the truth. Eric Northman loved me, and I loved him, so help me God.

We went to take a shower together where we had some more fun, and then we were sitting together in a chair in the corner of my living room, while the television buzzed quietly in the background. Funny enough, an old vampire movie was on, but we weren't watching the movie. We were just sitting.

Until I asked the question he had been dreading, the question he was able to postpone with incredible sex, and the question that he knew I was going to ask before it left my mouth. "Why did Larkin warn me against you?"

Eric became very still. His hands, which were previously moving lazily around my body, just touching here and there, were now clutching the arms on the old lazy boy. I thought he might break the old chair his grip was so hard. I turned on his lap slightly to look at him. He was staring right at the wall. The wall, of all things. I picked up the remote, turned off the movie, and turned back in his lap and repeated my question.

"Eric, how do you know this Larkin character, and why did he warn me against you? Why did he say that I shouldn't trust you? He said that you were using me. How are you using me? You seem to know each other. How do you know each other?"

He stood up so fast, (those damn vampire reflexes) and deposited me in the chair, and then he paced the floor in front of me. He said, "Which question should I answer first, dear one? You ask so many."

He seemed angry with me, so I decided to ask that. "Why are you angry with me?"

He turned away and said wearily, "Why can you never just be satisfied with the way things are?"

I thought that was a strange question, especially coming from him. Hell, I would be sublimely happy if things would remain the way they were! I would be overjoyed and thrilled if things would just be 'the way they are'. Was he serious?

He stopped pacing, "I'm not angry with you, by the way. I'm angry that once again I could not protect you."

I stood up and walked right up to him. I put my hand on his face, looked up at him and assured him, "Nothing happened to me tonight. You did protect me."

His hand went around my wrist, and he removed my hand from his face, but he kept my wrist in his hand. He said, "No, I did not. If I had protected you, that man, that creature, that monster, would never have even had a chance to talk with you."

Then, I asked a question that had been cooking on the back burner since he answered the phone earlier this evening, and one which didn't even have anything to do with the current discussion at hand, but sometimes my mind wanders, and I have to take care of things as they come. I asked, "How were you able to come out during the daytime?"

He let go of my wrist as if it were a piece of silver.

"It was close to sunset," he pointed out. He moved away from me, but I almost felt like this question was actually the one that he had feared the most, and was the one that was at the root of all the others, and I wasn't sure why I thought that, unless he was revealing something to me through our bond.

I countered, "It was still light, though. When you answered the phone, it was still light. It was close to sunset, but it was still light."

"Sookie." That was all he said. It was like a word of warning.

"Can you go out in the daylight?" I questioned. "I mean, you can't, can you? You once told me that the older a vampire was, the more likely it was that they could be woken up from sleep, and that time at Rhodes, you were able to move, but you were sluggish, and it was difficult. This evening, you answered your phone all chipper and then you rushed right over here, even speeding, so you had all your faculties, and you weren't affected at all."

"Did you want me to be?" he accused. He plopped down on the couch.

"Don't change the subject!" I pointed at him. "Does one thing have to do with the other?"

"Don't be absurd, Sookie," he almost scolded.

"Don't be condescending, Eric!" I harped back.

He stood up from the couch, and remarked, "I need blood. Do you have any?" He walked toward my kitchen.

I stayed in the living room and then I muttered softly, knowing he would hear, "I guess I'll have to get my answers from him."

I should have known better to bullshit the world's biggest bullshitter, because even though I knew I would never go to this Larkin for answers, Eric must not have known that, because before I could say, "Eric is a sex god" he ran back into my living room, pushed me up against the far wall, and with his hands gripping my shoulders, said, "You will never see that man without me, do you understand?"

Eric … who had never, even during his darkest days, had ever shown the least bit cruelty toward me, even when he was cruel and ruthless to others, in that instant, was a bit cruel, and I have to admit, it scared me.

And he knew it.

He released me, moving his hands from my shoulders to the wall, so that I was still trapped. His head dropped to the crook of my neck, and he sighed. Lord, he sighed. "Never fear me, Sookie. I know I just proved that man right, when he told you to fear me, but you never need fear me. I have overreacted, but only out of concern."

He looked up at me, with eyes that beseeched me to believe him, and I did. I said, "I'm not afraid of you, but Eric, I have to know what you know. You know that the reason Bill and I broke up is because he lied to me, and he kept too many secrets. That is the one thing that has always been the best about being with you, the fact that you are so damn honest and forthright."

He raised one eyebrow and teased, "Seriously, that's the best thing?" Then, he grinned.

I placed a hand on his cheek and said, "Second best thing. Please, tell me the truth. You were truthful with me about the reason you couldn't come to me when I was tortured and I accepted that truth. I didn't really like it, but I was grateful that you deemed to tell it to me. Please, tell me the truth now."

"Fine, but you won't like it," he said with a slight pout, which I found strangely endearing. He said, "Why is it that I have to tell you the damn truth all the time, Sookie? Can't we keep any secrets?"

"No," was my flat rejoinder.

His gaze narrowed and he said, "I cannot tell you everything, at least not yet, because some things I am still discovering, but I will tell you one thing. I'll answer the question that is at the basis of all others. You asked how I could be out during the daytime, and if I tell you this, Sookie, you must never tell another living soul, because if other vampires found this out, it would be the end."

"They would kill you?" I braced, concerned.

He shook his head even before he answered. "No, my love. They would kill _you_."

"Well, hell," I moaned.


	10. 10 Devil at the Door, or John Wayne

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 10: The Devil at the Door, or Maybe it's John Wayne**

Sitting all alone in Gran's old rocking chair in the corner of my living room, I tried to digest everything that Eric had told me the night before. I couldn't believe everything that he had told me, and I also couldn't believe that after he told me his story, I rescinded his invitation to my home.

He looked as if I had plunged a stake right into his heart.

That was twelve hours ago. It was early morning now, and not counting the few limited episodes of shuteye I caught while sitting in this rocking chair, I was up almost all night long thinking about everything Eric had told me.

That stupid sonofabitch _had _been using me. He had been using me for a long time, and he admitted it to me last night.

It seems that Eric knew a little known secret regarding people who were part fae and part human. He had known of this little known secret for a long time—or so he had said. He insisted he found it out by accident, but he knew about it before he met me. That bit of postscript made all the difference in the world. If he had discovered it after he met me, or after we fell in love, or whatever it was that we were in, I would have reacted differently. I wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that he was using me.

But he told me he found this out many years ago, and from Larkin Talkington himself, and long before he even knew there was a Sookie Stackhouse. He said that only my Great grandfather, his son Fintan, Larkin Talkington, and my cousin Hadley knew of this secret, besides him and, of course, now me.

Eric claimed he found out by accident, yeah right, like I said, I find that hard to believe. Nothing about Eric Northman is accidental.

Here's the big secret. It seems my blood, taken in large quantities, and frequently, can act as a 'daylight' deterrent. No joke. And no one seems to know why. My great-grandfather had his chemists working on why this was, what special ingredient in our blood made it so that vampires could withstand sunlight after ingesting it, and he was trying to reproduce it, so that he could make a fortune, but he was never able to do so, and now that he was back in his world, the project was abandoned.

It also seems that Larkin knew of this, because he's a paid 'donor' of sorts to a very select, very limited, handful of vampires. He 'sold' his part human/part fae blood to several key clientele and he wanted to make sure he kept the exclusive to this little side business all to himself, which meant no sharing with cousin Sookie, at least that was what Eric assumed. He thought Larkin was a threat to me, because he didn't want me to try to bust his monopoly. This man owns Boardwalk and Park Place and he has a hotel on both, and he doesn't want me to pass go or to collect my 200 dollars.

In other words, Eric felt Larkin wanted to get rid of me, because I was competition and apparently, Larkin thought Eric was a threat to me, although I have no idea why.

Hadley knew of this, because Larkin tested his blood on her first, and when it appeared to work, the former Queen of Louisiana was one of his first clients.

Eric told me if other vampires knew of this, I would be kidnapped, and I would be forced to give my blood to who knows whom. He said that was why I was being watched so closely, because he was afraid that Larkin would tell somebody about me (meaning some vampire), and that would be that. He said that Jason wasn't a threat, because of his exposure to 'were', so it was only me. Great. Here I was, being all special again, and it was nothing but a pain in the ass.

Eric also told me that he and Larkin had a long standing history, but he wouldn't elaborate because—get this: he said it wasn't my business.

And that was when I said, "You know what, I'm not going to be your personal daylight saver anymore, buster. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of you keeping things from me. I just plain, plum, tired. I rescind your invitation."

He moaned and shouted at me. He shouted at me! Then he remained outside until the sun came up and then he left. I almost laughed, because I thought the sun was his friend now, but I watched as he got in his corvette and drove away, right before the sun rose completely in the sky.

Eric was using me. Just like Bill used me. Just like everyone used me. I was so sick of being used. I knew Eric loved me, but damnit, he should have told me about my freaky blood. Someone should have told me.

What else did my blood do for him?

I was too tired to think on it. I stood up and was on my way to the kitchen to get some breakfast and coffee when wouldn't you know it, my doorbell rang. I was _so_ not in the mood for a visitor, friend or foe.

I went to the door and low and behold it was the devil in the flesh, my new buddy, Larkin. He smiled at me, "May we speak this morning, and not with a door between us? I trust Eric told you everything."

'Not everything,' I mused. I really didn't see the harm now. I should, but I didn't. Maybe because I was so damn tired, physically, emotionally, and mentally, so I opened the door.

"Listen, Eric told me about our freaky blood, but that's all, and I'm super tired, and I really don't feel like getting into anything, but I assure you, the daylight blood market is all yours. I won't quash any of your business. I don't care to, okay?"

"You're no real threat, anyhow," he snorted with a lazy grin. He motioned with his hand toward the door. I moved aside and let him step over the threshold. I stood and waited for him to explain. He didn't disappoint. "My blood is strong than your. It's not as diluted. Pure fairy blood only serves to drive vampires insane. Human blood sustains them, as you know. My unique mixture, and yours to a lesser degree, does so much more. I asked Eric last night if I might come back today to speak more with you, and he gave his permission, by the way."

I shook my head, made a little 'huh' noise in the back of my throat, and said bitingly, "Well, isn't that just grand. How big of Eric to give his permission for someone to come calling." I walked toward the living room again and sat back in the rocker. He moved to sit across the living room on the sofa.

"Listen, Sookie, I admit that I really am slightly worried that you might become greedy, and you might have grand designs to be my competition, and I have to stress to you why that would be a bad idea. First, it would be detrimental to your health and welfare."

"So much for the warm family fuzzies and the no threatening thing, right?" I barked.

"I am no threat, cousin dear, but many, many vampires out there would be very interested in what you have to offer. I'm sure they are anyway, even without the knowledge of the specialty of your blood," he stated. "My understanding is that your gift of telepathy makes them covet you, and of course, your great beauty."

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward in the seat. "What about you?" I asked. "Aren't they a threat to you?"

He shook his head and said, "Not in the least. No one really knows that the blood comes solely from me. The few clients I have, and they are very few, very powerful, and very secretive, are under the impression that I add a certain ingredient to my blood. They know the blood is mine, that it's mostly fairy, part human, but they are under the falsehood, the fallacy, that there's a chemical of some sort added to it. I've been very careful. Also, our blood only works on extremely old vampires. A younger vampire could ingest it and still burn at first dawn."

"What do these vampires get out of ingesting your blood, if they have to keep it a secret? They can't very well go around town, walking in sunshine, or go sunbathing, or the such, because it would be found out," I pondered aloud.

"That's true," he returned. "But they can perhaps go out on a private patio, and wake up while the sun is still out once in a while. After living hundreds of years in darkness, such little things can mean a lot."

"Is it permanent? The effects?" I asked.

"No, they have to continue to ingest it, hence, my livelihood is secure, dear Sookie," he said with another smile.

"So Eric has to keep ingesting my blood," I asserted, more to myself, than to him. I stood up and crossed over to the window. I looked out. I wondered if Eric was awake right now. I had so many questions. I felt he was near. I think that made me happy, but at the moment, I wasn't sure.

I turned to Larkin and said, "Eric said he found this out by accident, but that he knew of it before he met me."

Larkin looked thoughtful, and then he said, "That's his story to tell, but I will confirm that he knew about me for many, many years. He knew about me longer than you've been alive, but that doesn't mean he knew you had fae blood when he first met you. I don't believe he knew that for certain until Niall confirmed it to him, when Niall sought him out to meet you."

"Why are you taking up for him? Why are you defending him? You don't act as if you like him," I observed.

He laughed. "Am I defending him? Am I taking up for him? Believe me, I hate Eric Northman with a passion, and I have a very strong reason to, and that my dear, is my story, and it will remain as such. If he wants to share with you, he can. Why isn't he here, by the way?"

"Because she rescinded my invitation," Eric shouted from the doorway. The front door was still open from where I let Larkin in, and I think I kept it open secretly hoping that Eric might come.

Larkin got up from the couch and went to the foyer. I was too tired, so I stayed by the window and looked out at Eric's red corvette.

"Eric, how nice to see you. So she rescinded your invitation, yet she invited me in, how interesting," Larkin said. I rushed to the foyer when I heard Larkin laughing. He leaned lazily against the wall and looked out at Eric, who still seemed menacing outside the doorway. "Aren't you afraid of someone seeing you out and about? They will surely know something is remiss … a vampire out in the sun, in full daylight."

Eric grinned, but unlike Larkin's grin, which seemed teasing, Eric's seemed foreboding. He continued to grin when he answered. "I would rather think it is you that is afraid for me to be seen, Larkin. You do not want you little enterprise to be discovered."

"And you don't want your little medicinal plaything discovered," Larkin came back with, pointing over his shoulder at me.

"Hey!" I growled.

"Oh, do not be offended, Sookie dear," Larkin said. "That is how he sees you, not I?"

"Yet you are the one that put her down in such a degrading manner, not I, true?' Eric asked. He looked at me distress pulling at his lips. "My lover, if you would invite me in, I would be happy to tear off one of his arms and stuff it down his throat. I am sure it would keep him quiet for a few moments, and it might be highly entertaining to you and me."

"Come in, Eric, but no blood shed before noon," I said with a sigh. He stepped in slowly, circling Larkin as he came in the foyer. He stared down at the man, because Eric was so much taller. I observed them both thoughtfully and made several comparisons as I did.

First, yes, both were extremely handsome. Eric was handsome in a romantic novel sort of way. He was every woman's fantasy. Larkin was handsome in a movie star, pretty boy, sort of way. Here was my comparison, and it's only mine, but Eric was rather like Viggo Mortensen from Lord of the Rings, and Larkin was like Brad Pitt … two yummy men, but completely different polarities.

Larkin reminded me a bit a Johnny Depp, too, in the fact that he was incredibly sexy, but more than a little strange, (I'm talking about his movie parts, not the man in general), and Eric, my handsome Viking, reminded me of John Wayne. I know, I know, no one else will see it, but it makes sense to me, and that's all that matters.

Eric was taller, by perhaps six inches. His hair was lighter. His eyes bluer. Larkin's hair was more the colour of wheat, with light brown undertones. His eyes were a striking green. His eyes seemed to smile even when his mouth wasn't smiling. Eric's eyes seemed to always know what I was thinking.

Larkin's grin seemed forced and strained. Eric's seemed ominous. They continued to merely stare and grin at each other. They continued to size each other up. They continued to compete silently with each other, and I had enough of it. Finally, when I was done with my analysis and comparisons, and I couldn't think of any other movie stars to compare them to, I said, "Oh come on, into the kitchen you two." Geesh, men were so weird sometimes, whether they're fairies, vampires, or humans.


	11. 11 Chew on That

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 11: Chew on That **

I called to Eric and Larkin, "Oh, come on into the kitchen you two." I walked ahead of them , but then I found that only one of the men followed me to the kitchen. Eric came in, opened my refrigerator as if he owned the placed, grabbed some _Trueblood_, and popped it in the microwave.

When I looked back in the foyer for Larkin, Eric explained, "The bastard left."

"That was a quick exit," I remarked, surprised.

"I told him to take a hike," Eric said, using that modern day vernacular that sometimes sounded funny coming out of his mouth. Eric sat down, shook his bottle a few times, his thumb securely over the opening, and purred, "Now, what shall we do about you and me?"

"One question, Mr. Eric," I said, my mind coiling with electric awareness. I sat down beside him. "You haven't ingested my blood in a while, yet here you are, out in the daylight, just like the other day."

"I have another source," he returned evenly with a shrug. He said it as lazily as if he had said, 'I got a new pair of shoes today'.

"Another source?" My mouth tightened, appalled.

He smiled, a little half-smile, and said playfully, "I didn't say another lover. I said another supplier. Larkin was my original supplier, but I have since found another. He worries about you being his competition, but he has another to worry about, so you will be safe."

I frowned, and chewed on that for a while. "Eric, why do I feel every step forward we've ever taken, is then preceded by two steps back?" I hoped he would understand that little metaphor. Or was that an idiom? It had been so long since I had either on my word-a-day calendar, I wasn't certain.

"I'll tell you why," he replied provocatively. He sat way back in his chair. "It is because you are not good at relationships. It is because you are selfish and self-centered, which are two traits I usually admire, but when it comes to you and me, I admire them more coming from me."

WHAT? I know I screamed that in my head a full second before I screamed it aloud to him. "WHAT?" I mean, seriously? At least the vampire was truthful, but I too admired _that_ trait coming from me more than from him.

"You heard me," he said condescendingly. His lips quirked in a brief, ironic smile.

"_I'm_ selfish? _I'm_ self-centered? _I'm_ not good at relationships?" I repeated, because maybe I had heard him wrong. Maybe he had said that HE was selfish and self-centered, and that HE wasn't good at relationships. I would find out.

When he answered with an, "You heard me," I was still in shock.

I stood up and started pacing around the room. Should I ask him to explain himself, should I hit him over the head with a giant skillet, or should I rescind his invitation again? Perhaps the answer was all of the above. Before I could pick which of the choices that would best work for me, he stood up, too.

"Remember when I once told you that you run away when relationships become difficult, well, that is still my assessment today," he said challengingly.

At first, I didn't recall that statement, but then I remembered. "You said that about Bill and me, after Mississippi, and you didn't tell me you thought I did that, you asked me if that was my way of operating, and I told you I didn't know since Bill was my very first boyfriend!" I pointed my finger in his chest. "And if you want to get technical, you are my second and, well, my fourth boyfriend, and so I still don't have a pat way of doing things! Also, I'm not running away from you!"

"You are. I say that you are," he maintained, his face set and stern. "You are pushing me away, and that is the same. I am the enemy all of the sudden, and you want to blame me for everything. That is the same difference," he exclaimed.

"Oh just admit it, Eric! You only wanted me at first because I was Bill's and then because of this fairy blood thing!"

Now he was angry, really angry. I could feel the anger absolutely rolling off him, in waves, and heading toward me.

"None of this has anything to do with Bill Compton!" He backed me up against the kitchen counter. Each word he uttered was firm and deliberate. His hands went to the sides of my hips to rest on the counter on each side, essentially trapping me. He was so much taller than I was that he had to lean down into me, so that we were almost nose-to-nose.

"I found myself wanting you, attracted to you, before I first tasted your blood that time we had to heal your back. I wanted you before Andre first announced that you had fairy blood, and long, long before your great-grandfather sought me out to confirm it. I have also known about Larkin Talkington, and his blood's magical powers, long before I knew there was a Sookie Stackhouse. I even had my own supplier of such blood, before I knew you, and one in which Larkin still isn't aware."

"So how unfair of you to assume that I wanted you for your special blood!" He suddenly seemed more than even angry, but I wasn't afraid … yet.

He pushed away from the counter, started to walk away, thought better of it, approached me again, loomed over me, and bellowed, "First, Sookie, your blood's properties are much weaker than a true part human/part fae, and while I might be able to stay awake past dawn with your blood, inside a dark house, a few hours after ingesting it, I would never be able to drive around on a bright sunny day! You have gotten much more benefits from ingesting my blood over all this time, than I have from ingesting yours!" He looked at me triumphantly. He looked like he wanted to say, 'chew on that one for a while!'

And it was true … his blood had actually saved my life before, as had Bill's. His blood had made me stronger in situations when I needed it, and if we were counting on the life-saving monitor, Eric had taken a few bullets for me, had saved me from a Were or two, and a few other things. I knew that.

"But," I started, though I really didn't know what I wanted to say.

"What?" he snapped when I paused.

"Why have I never seen you out in the daylight before?" I asked sharply. That was a bit off point, but a valid question nonetheless … so take that Eric!

"I don't broadcast that I can do it, and I don't use it very often, hardly ever. I don't want others to know about it, and those few who do know, don't know that you too are part fae, and I'm happy for that, because I don't want them ever to make the connection, and to think that they could ever exploit you for their own means."

I guess that made some sense. Did that mean he had won the 'less self-centered' or the 'less-selfish' part of our fight?

"How is it you just happened to have used it the other day when I called you, when I thought I was in trouble? It wasn't yet sunset, but you answered your phone, even though I thought I was going to have to leave a message," I demanded.

Now it was his time for quiet. I almost pointed at him and said, "Ah ha!" because I thought I got him with that one, but he replied a beat later, almost self consciously, "Oddly enough, I find that I wake earlier in the evening now, even without ingesting the blood. Maybe it is my age, maybe it's the slow ingestion of this strange mixture of human and fairy blood over the years, or maybe I'll never know, but I usually wake an hour or so before sunset. I really don't know why. If you recall, you woke me during the day when we were at the vampire summit, and thank goodness that you did, because you saved my and Pam's lives."

"That's right, I did." I didn't mean to say that aloud, but since I was just thinking about all the times he had saved me, I thought it was important to recall that I had saved him a time or two, too.

He ignored my weak little acknowledgment and continued with his explanation. "When you called, I was in my own home, which is secure from the sun in every way, so that I can rest at night anywhere I choose, and I saw it was you calling, and I gave it no thought. I answered happily, not even thinking that it was odd that you should be calling me before sunset, because I was happy it was you."

I knew he was telling the truth. Our bond was my own lie detector when it came to Eric.

"If I'm not a real danger to this Larkin, why is he suddenly bothering me?" I probed.

"To bother me," he said stonily. Yeah, and he called me self-centered, but he was beyond self-centered.

"Bad blood between you, so to speak?" I pressed. Now that was a double entendre, right? Or does that only have to do with sex? Maybe my statement was an oxymoron. I really needed to get a new word-a-day, and quick.

"There is, lover, as you say, bad blood between us, and I won't have you put in the middle again."

"Then what are we to do? I'm tired of it all, Eric," I inhaled with exasperation. I felt like giving up. I thought we were talking in circles, and I wanted the circle to straighten to a line, and come to an end.

"Perhaps we need some time apart," he submitted tonelessly. Whoa, that was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth. I was prepared to say it, but I didn't think he would say it! "My emotions for you are getting in the way of everything again. Don't worry, Sookie," he started, stepping closer, and cupping my cheek with his hand, "I shall still protect you. I only think you need time to examine if you really want me. I know what I want, I know what I have always wanted, but it shouldn't be so hard loving you. I shouldn't have to justify my love, or fight for yours, as much as I seem to do. I'm the one that's tired of it."

He let his hand drop dramatically slow. I was shell-shocked, and I didn't know what to say. I looked down at the floor, instead of looking at his face, because I felt a sudden dizzying wash of pain pass through me, and even though I knew he would feel it, I didn't want him to see it.

"You know," he began, "when I gained my memory, and I recalled everything that went on at this house when I stayed here after that witch cursed me, I recalled how normal we seemed. We were relaxed with each other, we made love, we talked, we laughed, and you even called me 'baby'. You never are like that anymore." My pained expression left the floor and went right to his eyes.

"It's all my fault?" I stammered.

"I know, I know, It's just as much mine," he said, his hand up, as if he wanted to touch me again. "That wasn't really me, and in a way, it wasn't really you, and it would have turned boring quickly. You even told me at the time that you missed the real Eric, but don't you ever miss that phantom Eric sometimes, too? I miss the phantom Eric sometimes."

I nodded. That was as much agreement as he was going to get from me. He started toward the door and said, "My statement from long ago holds today, Sookie. You are not meant for human men. You are spoiled for them. You are also mine, and you always will be, but I want you to _want_ to be mine. Understand? I'm not a man to beg, ever, so I will cut you free before I beg you. Don't worry, you will still be protected. Come to me when you need me, for anything."

He walked toward the front door. I followed out of lack of anything else to do. I really didn't know what to say. I wanted to argue with him but the fact that he was leaving left that plan kaput. He turned right outside the door, cupped my face with both his hands, leaned down, and kissed me on the forehead. "Think about what I have said, Sookie." Well, that was a terrible goodbye.

So when he was almost to his car, I ran out of the house, pulled on his arm, turned him around, jumped up and threw my arms around his shoulders. His arms went immediately around my waist, and he held me up as I assaulted his lips with all the fury and passion I could muster that early in the morning. I kissed him hard, with feeling, with tongue and with a promise that this was not over.

I removed my mouth from his, he set me on the ground, and I turned to go, but before I went back inside I murmured, "Chew on that, vampire."


	12. 12 Honey Do

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 12: Honey Do**

Two full weeks went by before I sought out Eric. A week would have been enough time away from him, time enough for him to think about things, to learn to appreciate me, to consider his words about needing time apart, but I needed that extra week away from him for me, not for him.

I needed time to consider a few things, too. Things like, yes, I cared for Eric more than I wanted to and more than I would ever admit. I cared for him more than I showed him. I did make things difficult for him, but by golly, he made things doubly difficult for me, and always had. He never considered my thoughts, feelings, wishes or desires when he went around making decisions that concerned my life and future. That was part of our 'relationship' (for lack of a better word) that really bothered me the most, hence the extra week of thinking.

Two weeks later, I knew it was time to confront that stubborn old vampire, because I wasn't a coward, no one could ever say that I was, and because I needed to move on with my life, either with him or without him. I had been knocked down enough in the last two years, and somehow I always managed to stand back up, but even I recognized that a few of those times, I only stood back up because he had given me a hand or a boost. I don't know where my fortitude came from, perhaps from my grandmother, perhaps from my roots (imagine Scarlet O'Hara, dirt in hand, vowing that the South would rise again), or perhaps it was just plain old me, but I wasn't ready to give up on Eric, plain and simple.

Who was _he_ to tell me that we needed time apart? His high handedness was ending. Maybe he wanted to give up. Maybe he just wanted to give up on me. Maybe after over a thousand years on this Earth, a week or two apart, even a month or a year, meant very little to him or close to nothin' at all. Stupid former Viking. He had ignored me for longer periods than this before, but I'm a human, and a week or two can feel like a lifetime when all you have to live is one short lifetime.

After two weeks, I knew it was time to give this vampire an ultimatum: Take me as I am, or leave me alone forever. Stop dangling carrots in front of my face without promises of something more and most important, no more lies and no more using me for his own gain. I think it's about time I started using him for a change or at the very least, that we use each other equally.

That was my intent when I got dressed this evening in a pretty, royal blue dress, topped with a lacy, cream colored sweater, black high heeled shoes, with my hair long and curly, and my makeup just right. I wanted him to appreciate me, and to remember what he was missing, but mostly, I wanted to look pretty for him. Have I ever said, "Damn blood bond?" Oh, yes, I thought I had.

I got in my car and as I approached Shreveport I was starting to feel some of my courage waning. I was starting to have some regret. I was starting to think that perhaps another week apart would do us both a world of good. Maybe he didn't want to see me yet. He might not even be at the bar tonight, except that I knew he was.

I parked in the parking lot across the street from Fangtasia and watched as the red neon light flashed bright as a beacon in the warm Louisiana night and I felt unsure of myself. I knew he was in there, just as surely as I knew that I had on black, lacy panties, but I also knew that he was conducting business tonight, and he might not be happy to see me. I felt that clearly, because just as surely as I knew he was inside, I knew that he knew I was outside, and he wasn't too pleased about it.

He was probably still having me watched, so he might have known I was coming before I even left tonight, but I felt him inside, I felt his sway over me, and I felt that he wanted me to leave, but he also wanted me to stay. It seemed he was having trouble making up his mind about me, too.

Yes, this whole little blood bond thing was getting old, but stronger everyday. By this time we had shared blood so many times that I'd lost count. Eric once said that he hadn't given his blood to anyone since he had changed Pam, aside from me. He told me that vampires rarely gave their own blood to humans, even though they took the human's blood freely. When a vampire did give a human their blood, it was to control them, make them obedient: think Renfield and Dracula. I wasn't anyone's Renfield, and I would never be obedient, so I bet Eric regretted giving me his blood.

Although, he wanted our bond to go both ways, and I think the fact that he had done this, and had shared this information with me, was significant, probably more so than I would ever know.

I know his intentions in the beginning were for selfish reasons, to have access to me and my gift, oh—and to get me in the sack, but now there were different reasons behind it.

Pam once said that Eric would live on through me and I've never quite understood what she meant by that, seeing that he would probably live forever, but I remember her saying it quite clearly. Shaken out of my reverie, I suddenly heard her calling my name and my eyes darted up to find that she was tapping on the window of my car.

Time to pay the piper. I looked in the rearview mirror once more, checked my makeup and fluffed up my hair, and then I opened my door. I was still vain enough to want to look good for my man, but not just for Eric, but for myself, too.

"Hello, Pam," I smiled. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. Pam was the most demonstrative vampire I've ever known, I mean, besides the ones I've know Biblically speaking.

"I was wondering if you were going to sit in your car all evening, little friend," she said, although coming from her, the term little friend didn't sound condescending, as much as it sounded affectionate. "My master is very busy with associates from the north tonight, but he told me to have you either come in the bar, or go home, but that he wasn't having any bonded of his sitting in the car all night like a scared little rabbit."

That Pam.

Pam walked me to the door, past all the fang bangers and tourists waiting to get in, and as we walked inside, she remarked, "I haven't seen you for a while, my little human friend. Where have you been?"

"It has been a while," I agreed, "And I've been busy healing." I was always truthful with vampires. It was the only way to be.

"I still wish Eric had let me bring that Dr. Phil to you. You might have healed faster," she observed, taking my hand, and weaving me through the bar.

"I've still not completely healed, and I don't need Dr. Phil, but thanks," I allowed.

She looked down at me and held my gaze. "No, you just need Eric, right?"

Boy, Dr. Phil had nothing on Pam the vampire. She always said what was on her mind. "Listen," I began, "I know Eric isn't expecting me, and that he's busy. I can sense it. Should I come back another time?"

"True, he isn't expecting you, but when has that stopped you in the past?" she questioned in a question that was not a question. Again, only too truthful.

"Is he real busy?" I swallowed dryly.

"Yes, he has important people with him tonight, and they are having an important meeting, but he's happy that you are here. Go sit down at his table, and have a drink." She embraced me once more, and she even patted my back, which was such a human thing to do. I felt genuine warmth coming from this cold, dead vampire, and even kindness, and though we didn't share a bond, I still felt connected to her, perhaps because we had both had Eric's blood.

It didn't matter. I hugged her back, because everyone needs a hug every now and again, especially me, and maybe even her.

I sat at the table and looked all around. It was the usual crowd. A waitress brought me a rum and coke, though I hadn't asked for it, and I would have preferred a gin and coke. I started to tell her as much, but she prompted, "From the gentleman over there."

I looked up, and a vampire with dark hair and eyes was raising a glass of Trueblood toward me. I nodded my head, but pushed the drink away and said, "Please take this back, tell him thank you, but that I'm waiting for Eric, and then bring me a gin and coke."

She took the drink, huffed away in a tizzy, wondering why so many vampires would be interested in, as she thought, 'trailer trash like me.' I wanted to tell her that I lived in a regular house that wasn't on wheels, thank you very much, but to mention that would be belittling people who did live in trailers, and frankly, I've seen some really nice trailers over the years, so I didn't say a damn word.

She brought me my drink and walked away quickly. I scanned the bar again, and even opened my mind to read some thoughts. I hadn't been out in public for six weeks or better, and I hadn't honed my gift for almost as long. I heard the regular things … _'I hope I find a vampire to bite me tonight,' _… _'I hope my wife doesn't find out I came here without her,' _… _'What is my husband doing here without me?_' I looked up at that one. That fella was in a lot of trouble.

I nursed my drink slowly, reading a few more brains, even if it wasn't a nice to do so, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. The hand was cold. If it was that vampire from earlier, the one that sent me the drink, I might have to throw this drink in his face.

I looked up and saw Bill Compton. He smiled slowly down at me. I stood up, smiled, and threw my arms around his neck. "Oh, Bill, I haven't seen you for so long!"

"I know, Sweetheart. How are you?" he asked warmly.

He motioned that I should sit back down. He sat beside me in the booth, instead of across from me. "I'm fine, just fine," I said with my usual, public, plastic smile.

"Sweetheart, I know you haven't been fine, but I'm happy that you're out and about," he smiled knowingly.

"Are _you _all better?" I asked him.

"Mostly, I get stronger every day. Dr. Ludwig has me on a special high iron blood diet now, to build my strength back. I'm afraid some of the effects of the silver are permanent, but it was all worth it." He touched my cheek with one finger. He drew it down my face slowly. Sometimes, I missed Bill Compton so much that it hurt. I missed the Bill from the first part of our relationship, but then I had to remind myself that, that Bill wasn't the real Bill, at least, that Bill had sought me out for less than honorable means.

I didn't want to think about that right now. "Are you here with someone, Bill?"

"I was with Eric. He's having an important meeting tonight, and I gave a short presentation to his guests. I was about to run along, when I saw you out here. I was surprised to see you," he admitted. Did Bill's surprise mean that the blood bond we once shared was gone, to the point where he could no longer 'feel' me? Had Eric's blood bond usurped his?

It didn't matter. Bill was a part of my past, and Eric was my future. I leaned over and kissed Bill on the cheek.

"What was that for?" he asked, his hand coming to rest on his face.

"Just because." It was all I could say. I wanted a fresh start with Bill, too. We could never go back to the way we were, but we could start anew, with friendship. I needed all the friends I could get.

"I need to go, sweetheart," he said softly. He stood, and kissed the top of my head. It was so utterly sweet, that I couldn't help but smile again. He started to walk away, but he looked back once. I held up my hand, and smiled.

I watched him until he left the bar. Then I looked over just as the vampire from earlier, the one that had bought me the drink, sat down there in the booth right across from me. There went my 'Bill high'. My heart sunk and I gritted tersely, "Listen, no offense, but I'm waiting for Eric."

"You let that vampire sit with you, and he even kissed you," he pointed out. "I only wanted to buy you a drink, sweetness." He had an eastern accent, like maybe we was originally from New York or Boston. I wasn't good at placing accents. To me, everyone sounded northern, if they didn't talk with a drawl.

"Please, go away," I icily retorted.

"Maybe I don't want to," he persisted with a dark smile. "What's a little human like you going to do about it?" He reached over and took my hand in an iron grip. I couldn't pull it away.

Did the idiot not hear me mention Eric's name? Maybe he didn't know who Eric was. "Let go of my hand," I ordered.

He did. He crooned, "I bet your blood is delicious. I bet your hot little body is, too. I'm going to know both of them before the night is through."

I stood up, made a disgusted sound, and headed toward the restroom, thinking that was one of the most blatant, disgusting pick-up lines I had ever heard, and since I was a telepath, I have probably 'heard' them all before.

When I was done with business, I walked out of the woman's bathroom door, down the long corridor that would lead me back in the bar, when I felt an arm snake around my waist. That east coast vampire had me around the waist, his hand on my mouth. He led me to the men's restroom, and he pulled me right into a stall with him.

I was so afraid. Everything that happened, everything … not just the shit with the fairies, but everything over the last two years, the stuff with Rene, the stuff with the Newlins, the stuff with Debbie Pelt, Bill raping me in that Lincoln, the Witch War, The Were pack master fight—everything—crashed around me and I immediately began to fight.

I clawed at the vampire, I kicked, I tried to scream, though his hand was still on my mouth, and I even bit his hand, though I was careful not to draw blood.

He turned me quickly, called me a bad word that started with a 'C', and then raised his hand to strike me. That was as far as he got. Someone grabbed his arm from the top of the stall next to us. I didn't even see who it was, but I knew it wasn't Eric, because I would have felt him. I collapsed on the dirty tile floor, next to the commode, even as whoever grabbed the vampire's hand pulled him up over the wall of that stall and into the other.

I heard a struggle, I heard a stifled scream, and I heard moaning. I closed my eyes to block it out, but also because this bathroom was dirty and disgusting. I would have to tell Eric that it needed cleaned.

I only opened my eyes when I felt a cool hand on my forehead. I looked up and I knew it was Eric. He looked concerned and angry. If he was angry with me, he could just shove it, because I didn't provoke this person! I started to tell him so, but he pulled me to stand, crushed me into his chest, and said, "Shhh, it's all right, lover. Don't cry. It's over. Once again, I wasn't there for you, was I?"

He was soothing tears that I didn't even know I was shedding. "This bathroom is disgusting, Eric. It needs cleaned."

He looked down at me, smiled, and teased, "I'll get right on that. Do you have anything else you want me to do while we're at it?"

"When I was young, my grandmother told me that when a woman asked her man to do chores for her, it was called a 'honey do' list, sort of like honey-dew, but spelled, different." I didn't know why I was rambling about stupid things, but at least he was still smiling at me.

Finally, I asked, "Is the vampire dead?"

"No," he answered, although he didn't seem pleased. "Larkin Talkington hurt him very badly though, which I do not regret, even if the vampire was here with the men with whom I was conducting business."

"Larkin?" My eyes narrowed in speculation. I had just noticed that we were alone in the bathroom. "Larkin overpowered a vampire?"

"Yes, and, as I said, I'm grateful that he only incapacitated him, at least until I have finished my business with his King, and then, with his King's permission, I will seek retribution myself, for what he tried to do to you," Eric announced. He soothed down my hair and assured, "You still look lovely, by the way. Your appearance here this evening was unexpected, but is most joyous, dear one. I want you to wait for me in my office, and then I will take you out to the bar, to meet my new business associates."

He took my hand and led me out of the men's room. There were several vampires guarding the doorway to the bathrooms. We stepped around them, Eric gave them a nod, and they moved aside to admit the patrons of the bars once more. He led me to his office, and said quietly, "I am happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see you, too."

"We have much to discuss, but for now, let me handle this business with the cretin who insulted you, and then I'll be back to get you." He leaned down, and kissed me the way only a thousand year old vampire could kiss, and then he strode steadily out of his office.

I turned around, and noticed for the first time that I wasn't alone in the room. Eric must have known Larkin was in here when he brought me here, because he was lounging on the couch, his arm draped over his eyes, his chest heaving, as if he had just run a mile.

"Larkin?" I asked, hesitantly. "For what it's worth, thank you for helping me."

He removed his arm slowly from his eyes, lifted his head at me as he said, "It's what family is for, Sookie." Then he smiled, and heaven help me, he showed fang when he smiled.

What the hell?


	13. 13 Well, huh

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 13: Well, huh**

My knees almost buckled when Larkin smiled at me from his perch on the couch, because so help me God, he had fangs. Vampire fangs. I don't know how that was possible, but I wasn't about to stay in Eric's office with him to find out. As soon as he smiled, and I saw that hint of fang, I got a flashback of what happened to me with those evil fairies and I turned as quick as a flash. My hand went to the knob, and I threw the door open, rushed into the hall, and before I knew it, Eric was standing there, holding my upper arms with his hands and asking, "What's wrong now?"

"Fangs," I gasped. "Larkin has fangs!" I couldn't say anything more. I buried my face in his chest.

He put his arms around me, but then he patted my back, as if I were a child and said, "I know, so? I really have to get back to my meeting, Sookie. Was there a problem?"

I looked up at him, and I said, "Well excuse me, Mr. Sheriff, but I find the fact that a half fae, half man has vampire fangs creepy as all get out, but you go on with your bad self, have your important meeting, and don't worry about me. I didn't ask you to come back here and check on me again, anyway!"

"No, but I felt your fear," he acknowledged, as if he was blaming me or something.

I pointed toward the closed door and babbled, "Fangs, Eric! Larkin has fangs!"

He sighed. "I know. Please, Sookie, go back in the office. You will be safe, I promise."

"What? First, you didn't want me to have anything to do with Larkin, and now that he has fangs, you're perfectly fine with us being alone together. You know what?" I said, throwing my hands up in the air. "I should have called first. You're busy tonight. Go on back to your important people, really. I'll go home, but I'm not about to go back in that office with that fairy, knowing that he has fangs, especially considering that just a couple of weeks ago you were afraid of him seeing me alone." I gave a little nod to my head, as if to cap off my statement with a, 'so there' and I started down the hall.

Eric grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"First, lover, I wouldn't let you go back in the office with that man if I thought he would hurt you now, and you know it. Second, I am pleased you are here, I really am, but the world doesn't revolve around you. I cannot stop everything just to please you, no matter how happy I am to see you. Third, for your own safety, I want you to wait for me in my office, away from the other vampires that I am entertaining, which means that Larkin no longer poses a threat to you, because I would never put you in harm's way." After his speech, he topped my nod of 'so there' with a 'take that' eyebrow raise, and pushed me back toward the door.

He opened it and suggested, "Ask him about his fangs. You're find the story fascinating, I'm sure." He kissed my forehead, smiled at me, and damn it all to hell, I felt placated.

I stepped back in the office, slowly, and I looked at the fairy with fangs. He was still on the couch, only this time he was regarding me anxiously.

"You have fangs," I blurted out. Just call me Captain Obvious.

"Yes, I do," he affirmed calmly.

"Why do you have fangs?" I asked unevenly. I shut the office door, but not tightly. I stayed by the door, just in case I had to make a haste retreat.

"That's quite a story, are you sure you're up for it?" he asked. He patted the seat beside him, answering his own question. Apparently, he thought I was up for it. I moved cautiously, reluctantly, toward the couch. I sat beside him and motioned with my hand that he should continue.

"A few years ago," he began, "I went to visit our cousin Hadley. I was forbidden from seeing you, as you know, by Fintan. He protected you very well. He wasn't as protective of Hadley. I found out it was because she had been turned."

"Did you tell her that you were our kin?" I asked.

"I did. I explained to her who Fintan was to her, who Niall was, and how Fintan was my father. She seemed nonplussed about the whole thing, in fact, she seemed disinterested, as I suspected she would be."

"Why did you think she wouldn't care about meeting you?" I questioned.

"I was part of a past she wanted to forget. I admit I was worried about meeting her, what with her being a vampire, and me being half fae, but she seemed immune to me and to my intoxicating smell, which got me wondering … why? Why did my smell, my blood, not affect her the way it affected other vampires?" He leaned forward, and so did I, because now he had my interest.

"What did you discover?" I asked.

"She herself was part fae, wasn't she? Not as much as I, but as much as you, so I wondered if that made her immune to me," he revealed. "After our first initial visit, which was short, I visited again. I asked her about you and your brother. She told me to leave you both alone, and that your lives were turbulent enough without me showing up, so I respected that.

"She told me she was a favorite of the Queen of Louisiana, and we talked for a long time. I visited her often. After several visits, she revealed a secret. She told me that for some reason, she could go out in the sun, not for long periods, not without some damage, but unlike some vampires, she could stay awake during the day if she so desired, and that she could bear to go outside, on cloudy days, and if she was well covered. She asked me if that was a result of her fairy blood, and I truthfully told her that I did not know."

I was really paying attention now. "Did you really know, and just tell her that you didn't?" I asked.

"I really didn't know," he admitted, "but it got me wondering. I asked Niall about it, and he had never heard of anyone with fae blood being turned before, so he, too, was curious, and he gave me permission to conduct a few experiments with some vampires. I gave them some of my blood, but none of them were impervious to the sun, as Hadley claimed to be."

"Did she ever share this information with the queen?" I wondered if THAT was the real reason that the queen wanted me in the first place, instead of for my telepathy.

"Not in the beginning. At first she never told anyone but me, because she was afraid if anyone found out, they would use her, which they would have, or, I should say, which they did," he confirmed.

"So, you found some unwilling vampires, conducted some experiments with your blood, and they all, what, burned in the sun, and then what happened?"

He grinned at me. "I like you, cousin." I didn't know what that statement had to do with anything, but fine, he liked me. He continued, "Yes, I found some unwilling vampires, as I said, and merely ingesting my blood did nothing to protect them from daylight. Then, I wondered if it was because they were new vampires, or if it was because my fae blood was diluted. I also wondered if the reason Hadley was able to withstand daylight was because of her unique combination of being a part fae and part vampire, because surely, she was one of a kind."

"Perhaps," I offered. What else was I to say?

He sat there for a quiet beat and said matter-of-factly, "I soon discovered that was the reason, so I asked her to turn me."

I stood up, stiffened in shock. "What?"

"I asked Hadley to turn me. I wanted to see what would happen to a part fae, part vampire."

"Why? Are you nuts?" I asked impulsively. Apparently, that was a rhetorical question.

"No, not nuts, as you say, just a curious creature at heart," he replied lightly. "Also, I was rebelling at the time against Fintan and Niall, who both forbade me from continuing my relationship with Hadley. You see, I wanted something completely of my own. I wanted to be unique, and so she did it. She turned me, and it worked. I was able to go out in the sunlight, but even more so than Hadley, and besides having fangs, and an occasional craving for blood, I was basically the same as I was before the change."

"And that's when you decided that your new blood could be sold to vampires as a sort of vampire sunblock, right? You decided to make money by selling your own blood to the highest bidding vampire, so they, too, could walk the day, right?" I provoked.

"Yes," he said, seemingly proud. "I saw that by this time, Hadley was selling her blood to a select few, for the same purposes, so I decided I would do the same, and my blood was even more powerful than hers."

Okay, I thought the man was sick, but … whatever. "Then my blood really doesn't keep Eric awake in the daylight, right? Because if your blood alone didn't keep vampires awake during the day, then my blood surely doesn't do anything, because your blood is stronger than mine." I was trying to figure this entire thing out in my head, but he was already adamantly shaking his head no.

"No, cousin, your blood really wouldn't be strong enough for a vampire to stay outside or awake for long, but it would be potent enough for a vampire as old and strong as Eric, if he wanted to merely wake earlier, or stay inside during the day," he answered. "Anyway, surely he told you, he had another source for his daytime elixir, years before he met you."

"Yes, he told me that," I answered. "Who would that have been?"

"Hadley, of course," he said slowly as if explaining to a child. "I told you that she was already selling her blood for that very reason by this time."

"Whoa," I flinched in disbelief. "Back the truck up." I stood up. "Hadley?"

"Of course," he chuckled. "She was the queen's lover, so she was obliged to tell the queen, and the queen told a few of her trusted subjects, one of which was Eric. When Hadley died, they all assumed their source died, even when they became aware of you, none of them thought your blood would be strong enough. They didn't know about me at the time. I was selling my blood strictly to another source."

"Which was who?" I asked.

"I must maintain some secrets," he said in his contradictory manner.

"Why tell me anything, then? Why did you tell Eric, because I'm assuming you did, or else he would feel that you're still a threat to me," I reasoned.

"Ah, Eric Northman is a shrewd man," he accepted. "I hate him passionately, but he's a wonderful business man, I have to give him that. I'm here today, as a bargaining tool for his new business arrangement with the Kings of Ohio and New York, and the Queen of Pennsylvania. They are his guests tonight. I am not here of my own freewill."

"He's conducting business with the heads of Ohio, New York and Pennsylvania? And you're helping, but not willingly?"

He laughed mirthlessly. "I would hardly say that I'm helping, and you're right, I'm not here voluntarily. I'm being forced to do his bidding, but that's all I'll say for now." He closed his eyes, sighed, and placed his arm back over his face. "I'm tired, cousin. Do you mind if I stop talking now? I need to rest. I need some blood."

"No, of course." I stood up to leave. I thought a moment, then turned back to him and said, "By the way, thanks for helping me in the bathroom, with that vampire."

"I'm glad I was there," he said, "although I'm sure Eric would have been there in another minute or two if I wasn't there first." He kept his eyes closed, his head back, and he added, "I will always be there for you, and I'll never hurt you."

Interesting. I wanted to trust this man, this creature, this … thing. I wanted family almost more than I wanted anything. I didn't have a mother, a father, grandparents, (not really), my brother and I were estranged, I would probably never marry, and although I wanted children more than I would ever admit, I would probably remain childless all my life. Therefore, I would take family any way that I could. I walked back over to him, removed his arm from his face, which caused him to open his eyes and raise his head in surprise.

I placed my hands on each side of his face, and kissed the top of his head. "Thank you." I turned back around and walked out of Eric's office. I wondered, as I walked back toward the bar, what Eric had on him to make him suddenly do his bidding. Was he blackmailing him somehow, and with what?

I saw Eric out in the bar with a small entourage of vampires. He was pointing at different things in the bar, and several of the vamps were laughing. Some had bottles of Trueblood in the hands. What was Eric doing? What was happening here? Did I care?

I decided I didn't. I didn't want to get into any more vampire politics, (also known as vampire shit). I just wanted to go home. I weaved through the crowd, in and out, ducking my head so Eric wouldn't see me, even though I knew he could feel me. I almost made it to the door. Almost.

He grabbed my wrist again right as I was about to make my getaway.

"May I have this dance, lover?" he asked. He didn't wait for a response. He urged me to the dance floor just as a slow song came on overhead. He grabbed my hand, drew me in closer, and placed his free hand on my back, his other hand still holding the hand he grabbed captive, on his chest, in a very old fashion way.

His mouth was on my neck, kissing me, before I knew what was happening. His tongue darted out, and touched behind my ear, and I shuddered. My knees went weak, and I started to feel aroused, right there on the dance floor. He whispered, "I wish there was only you and me here on the dance floor, lover. I would pick you up, wrap your legs around me, and make love to you in time to the music."

Well, huh.

His lips grazed my neck, up my jaw line, to my cheek, and I felt shivers go up and down my spine. He had the softest lips; his hands were doing the most amazing things up and down my back. He pressed his hard body against my soft one, his thigh pressed slightly between my legs, and he said, "You taste so good, Sookie." He kissed my neck again, and then right on the dance floor, I felt the sting of a fang, but he only scratched it back and forth against my skin. He didn't lose control. He didn't bite down.

The song ended too soon in my estimation. He kissed my lips gently when the music ended and said, "Would you do me the honor of meeting my guests now, Sookie?"

"I don't want to be a part of vampire shit again, Eric," I insisted. "I was leaving when you grabbed me to come back and dance. I'll meet them if that's all there is to it. I won't meet them if I'm part of a business arrangement, or part of your agenda. You can use Bill, you can use Larkin, but I swear, I won't let you use me."

"I didn't know you were coming this evening, so how could you be part of my business agenda?" he asked reasonably. "If you aren't up to meeting them, that's up to you, but I'm proud of you, and I'm proud to call you mine, and that's the extent of why I want to you to meet them, lover."

For the second time, I thought, 'Well, huh.' "Fine, let's go meet these people."

I took his hand and started toward the large table in the corner, where they were all sitting, but he drew me back for a moment and said, "Before we go over there, I have two requests, dear one."

"What?" I asked.

"First, it was an associate of New York's who offended you earlier, thereby offending me. I have already asked that he be punished severely, and the king has assured me that he will be, so please, do not mention the incident again. Consider it solved."

"I don't intend to mention it, what else?"

"I told them we were bonded, so please, do or say nothing that disputes that," he suggested. I almost felt like it was an order.

"What's really going on here, Eric?" I asked uncertainly.

"Our possible freedom from Nevada, Sookie," he said, setting his jaw. "Now smile, we have to put on a good show, Lover." He squeezed my hand and practically dragged me over to the table.

A good show? Instead of thinking, 'Well, huh,' this time, I was definitely thinking, 'well, shit.'


	14. 14 Plain and Simple

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 14: Plain and Simple**

It was so late that I felt as if I were the walking dead, only not literally, because then I would be a vampire. The point was that I was tired. I fulfilled Eric's wishes: I smiled, laughed, flirted, and in general played a part for Eric and his new little friends all night long. It was apparent that these new associates were important people, so I did him proud, and now I was tired, hungry, had a slight headache and I just wanted to go home. The bar was closing, and his guests were leaving, and I snuck off to his office to try to find my purse, which I must have left when I was in there with Larkin earlier.

I only hoped that my cousin wasn't still there. I opened the door slowly, and the room was empty, save for my purse, which was on the sofa. I walked over to retrieve it, and the sofa looked so soft and inviting that I plopped right down on it, slipped off my pumps, and turned to my side, brought my legs up off the floor, and I went to shut my eyes, for just a minute or two.

I felt his lips on my forehead, and his hand brushed a strand of hair away from my face before I even opened my eyes. He sat beside my hip, his hand on my arm, and he leaned down again and kissed my shoulder. I opened my eyes, but his curtain of long hair blocked out the din of light from the desk lamp. He leaned down once more as I turned to my back. He framed my face with his large hands, kissing me softly on the lips, and crooned, "You made me so proud tonight, beloved. Thank you."

"I'm not going to ask you what all of that was about tonight, but not because I'm not curious," I said.

He brushed back another strand of hair, his smile a crooked grin, and said, "Of course not. You're always curious."

"That I am. I'm just not going to ask because I'm going to trust you for a change, even though I can't believe that sentence is coming from my mouth," I explained. I reached up and cupped his cheek.

"It's about time you yielded to my power and influence," he murmured through a smile.

"You can't even say that with a straight face, can you?" I snorted with a small smile. I sat up, but left my legs on the couch.

"Truthfully, if you want to know what's going on, it's too bad, because I can't tell you anyway," he teased just to irritate me. "But I do have our best interest at heart. I really am securing our future. I have to get us out from under the thumb of Nevada, my love, and that's all I can say at this time."

"What do you have over Larkin?"

"Ah, well, that's another story I can't tell you at this time," he replied. Sometimes I'm convinced he's lived over a thousand years just to irritate me.

"On that note," I said, pushing him away and planting my feet on the floor, "I have to leave. I'm tired, I'm tired, and I'm tired."

"And you didn't accomplish what you came to accomplish tonight, did you?" he asked, sitting back on the couch. I stood up, and he reached out and grabbed the skirt of my dress. His back against the sofa cushions, his legs far apart on the floor, he pulled me back by his tenuous hold on my dress, so that I was forced to stand between his legs. His hand ran up my leg. "Why did you come tonight, my love? Was it to forgive me? Was it to tell me that you figured out that you can't live another day without me?"

"It was to tell you that you're as full of shit as you've ever been, Eric," I said with a smile. I sat down on his knee, leaned forward, as his hand ran up my back, and I kissed his cheek. "I came tonight to tell you that I loved you, plain and simple."

"Oh, is love plain and simple, Sookie dear?" His fingernails ran down my back and sent tingles up my spine.

"No, nothing is plain and simple, Eric, especially love. It's not easy for me to admit I love someone, especially when I'm not sure how that person feels for me, and especially how everyone I've ever loved has either disappointed me, hurt me, or died on me, but I still wanted you to know. That's why I came tonight."

I stood from his lap. He reached for my dress again, but somehow I was faster, although I knew if he really wanted to, he would have caught me. I picked up my purse from the floor and opened his office door. I turned once more and said, "Well, goodnight, Eric, and I truly hope everything this evening went the way you wanted it to, I do."

"Sookie?" Something in the softness of his voice stopped me as I was leaving the office. I turned back to face him. "Do you really not know how I feel about you?"

I sighed. It was too late to get into 'this' conversation, but I answered honestly. "Sometimes I don't know how you feel, Eric. I don't doubt that you love me in your own way, or in the best way that you can."

"What a completely stupid answer," he sighed. I waited to see if he was going to elaborate, but he didn't. He stood up and stretched, before adding, "You are much too tired to drive home by yourself. I shall drive you."

"You don't have to," I protested.

"Of course I don't." Well, that rather said it all, didn't it? He wrapped his arm around my neck and we went out the office. He flipped off the light and shut the door. He told Pam and the rest of the staff goodbye, and then we walked out to my car. He opened the door for me, forever the gentleman, and then he climbed in the other side, all legs and arms.

"I wish you would let me buy you a better car," he shook his head. He always said things like that.

"Speaking of money," I said, although he wasn't really speaking of money, "I have to get back to work. I'm getting low on funds again, I called Sam, and he said I could come back anytime I wanted, and I think I feel strong enough physically and emotionally. I'm only telling you this because I didn't know if you were still having me watched or not, but while I'm at work, I won't need security, okay?"

He kept his eyes on the road, sped up faster, and he growled. I swear, he growled, which meant something I had just said upset him. I wasn't sure if I cared enough to discover what it was, but I finally said, "I have to work, Eric. I've been off long enough, and I have bills to pay, and I only have about $800 dollars left in the bank."

"Where did all your money go?" he asked, giving me a sideways glance.

"I've had a lot of hospital bills," I reminded him. I didn't have insurance. Hospitals are expensive. I glared right back, folded my arms, and then turned to look out the side window. "I don't just spend my money frivolously you know."

"I know. That's part of the problem," he acknowledged gruffly.

What the hell did that mean? I wasn't going to ask him that, because I knew he was old fashioned, and had archaic notions about money and women. He felt he should take care of me, and that I should let him. I couldn't do that. I just couldn't. I wasn't even sure why.

"I would give you any amount of money that you needed, Sookie. Money is something I have amassed a lot of in my many years on the face of this Earth," he confided. I bet he had.

I placed my hand on his thigh, to placate him, and said, "Eric, honey, I know you would, and I appreciate it, but I can't just take your money."

"If we were married as two humans, my money would be yours," he said plainly.

"That's true, but we aren't," I reminded him.

"For all intents and purposes, in my mind, and in the minds of other vampires, you are mine, in more than just the sense that you are my human. You are my mate, my wife, my beloved. I hate that I have to remind you of that." He shifted gears when he entered the highway, and picked up speed again. I could tell he was angry. He turned to look at me slightly and said, "Someday, vampires and humans will be permitted by human law to marry."

"I don't doubt that," I said.

He left it at that. I was glad; because I wasn't sure that I wanted to go down that avenue this late at night.

I lay my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes. I felt him reach for my hand. He squeezed it and placed it back on his thigh. Again, I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was being carried into my house. I didn't wake up until Eric kicked the front door shut with his foot.

"Are you staying?" I asked. He carried me to my room.

"Are you inviting?" he asked silkily.

"I might be," I said cryptically. He placed me on my feet. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek, over to my lips, and then back to my jaw.

"I might be tempted to stay, then," he finally answered. He let go of me, and peeled off his jacket and draped it over the chair in the corner of the room. I kicked off my shoes, threw my purse on the dresser, and walked into the bathroom. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got into a pretty, pale green nightgown. Eric stood behind me, peeled off his clothes, saw to his needs, and stepped into my shower.

We did all of this silently, as if it was a choreographed dance, and the whole scene thrilled me to no end. I could get used to such mundane acts as getting ready for bed with my lover.

I walked into the bedroom and lay down to wait for him to finish his shower. I turned to my side under the covers, and played with a string that had unraveled from my old quilt. I turned it around and around my finger. I looked up as I heard the shower turn off, and then I watched as Eric stepped out of the bathroom, with nothing but a towel wrapped low around his slim hips.

He smiled down at me, one knee on the bed. I reached up for him.

I could get used to this, too.

He turned off the light that was on the bedside table. His body pressed against the side of the mattress, causing my body to roll slightly toward him. He whipped off the towel, and pushed down the quilt, all before I could say, 'boo'. His lips danced across my jaw and neck and he smelled like my soap, so fresh and clean. There was something satisfying in that. "I do love you, Eric," I said softly, not because I had to say it, but because I wanted to say it.

He placed a hand on my stomach, lifted his head, and stared at me for a long time, his bright eyes brilliant even in the darkness. He stared at me for an insurmountable amount of time, before he smiled, kissed me slowly and languidly, lifted his head again, and then said, "I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love another human being, Sookie. I love you more than I have ever loved anything, and more than I ever _will_ love anything. You are my day and my night, my right and my wrong, you are _everything_ to me, never doubt that."

There was nothing plain and simple about that statement. It was so sweet it almost made me cry. I decided to commit it to memory, even as his hands and lips were committing every inch of my body to memory. Soon, I was as naked as he was, and his tongue seemed to delve into every nook and cranny it found, before it came back up to skim along the line of my lips, to enter my mouth.

"I want you completely, lover." His voice was low and thick with need.

"I'm yours," I soothed guilelessly. In my mind, that sounded romantic. When I said it aloud, it sounded a bit hokey, but he smiled anyway, so that was all that mattered. I whispered his name as his mouth closed around one of my nipples and he began to suck. I felt his fangs. He drew some blood, but that made it even better.

Wonderful, primitive sensations started in the pit of my belly and spread like wild fire all throughout my body, and out my toes and fingers. I thought I had felt loved before, and I thought I had been fulfilled before, but Eric was almost devouring me with his lovemaking, and it was pure bliss.

His hips pressed against mine, to open my legs, I felt the friction of his thigh between me, and then he entered me just at the right time. Sometimes, I think in bed, I'm a pure wanton, a wicked, wicked woman, thanks to my experiences with my vampires, because nothing ever compared to the way they made me feel when I was coming all around them, with them deep inside me.

I wanted his heart, but I wanted to give him mine as well. I wanted his body, and I wanted him to have mine. I wanted him to heal all the wounds that I had left opened, festering, weeping, for so long. I did belong to this man, this vampire, and I knew it, even as he came, saying the word, "MINE!"

I clung to him tightly, almost out of control, as he bit into my neck. I spiraled downward, feeling as if I might pass out any second. Before I knew it, he had opened his wrist a bit, with a small bite, and he urged me to take a drink. I did. It was the perfect completion. Shared love, shared sex, shared blood.

He rolled off me, and pulled me to his side. I was like a quivering mass of cherry jello. (Cherry is my favorite.) I clung to him, and I know I was whimpering, not crying, not moaning, actually whimpering, because I was still thrumming from the fantastic sex.

He turned to his side, and kissed me again, another long, meaningful kiss. "Are you mine, Sookie?" He gave me such a mischievous smile I almost felt like slapping him. I also think that at that moment I would almost agree to anything.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said breathlessly.

He let me go, to which I whimpered again, but he said, "I'm coming back, do not worry." Ha! 'Do not worry'. He's so funny. I love the way he talks sometimes … forgetting contractions, old-fashioned sayings and things. He stood up, in all his beautiful, Nordic glory, walked over to his jacket, and got out a small velvet pouch. He threw it to me before he plopped back onto the bed.

He turned the light back on, and sat beside me. I propped myself up on my elbow and examined the small velvet pouch. I said, "The last time you gave me something in a black velvet pouch, I ended up married to you, in the vampire sense. I'm almost afraid to see what this is."

"Just open it, lover," he prodded. He leaned down to mirror my body, his head on his elbow. I was going too slow for him, because he reached over and pulled on the drawstring and then held out my hand, and emptied the bag contents on it.

Out popped a beautiful diamond ring.

I stared at it, my mouth open. I was afraid to look at him. Was this what I thought it was? He said, "Someday, when it is legal for me to do so, I will ask you to marry me, and you will already have the ring. That is all this is. As you said, it's just plain and simple."

I looked up at him, back at the ring, back at him and said, "Sure it is."


	15. 15 Not in This Lifetime

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 15: Not in this Lifetime**

This beautiful man, creature, vampire, whatever you wanted to call him, placed his body beside mine on the bed, and just more or less asked me to marry him. I think. I'm not sure. Maybe. Didn't he?

"If that was a marriage proposal, it was a piss-poor one," I frowned. I picked up the drawstring, velvet pouch, slipped the ring back inside, and tried to hand him the bag.

"What was wrong with it, Sookie?" he asked, with a devious grin. He knew damn well, what was wrong with it. I loved how he would feign ignorance when it suited him.

"Oh nothing, except there were no flowers, no getting down on one knee, no music, no romance, nothing, nada. You didn't even slip the ring on my finger," I protested. "You threw it at me."

He laughed, right on cue. "If I had done all of those things, what would you have done?"

I sat up in bed, pulled the sheet up to cover my bare breasts and I rejoined, "That's not the point."

"That is the point," he asserted. "I know you better than you know yourself. At the first flowery word, at the first romantic gesture, you would have laughed, then run away and hid somewhere. Frankly, I wasn't in the mood for the dramatics. Take it for what it is, Sookie. It's a token of my love for you. There are your romantic words."

Suddenly, he seemed angry. He grabbed the little bag and placed it on the bedside table. He lay back on the bed, his head on the pillow, his arms crossed in front of him. "Or don't take it."

"Do you think that I don't want what other women want?" I asked pointedly.

"I think you are not like other women, hence the reason I love you," he answered succinctly. "I know you want what other women want, however, and I can't give you those things, so that is why I can never seriously ask you to marry me, because I doubt if you could ever seriously say yes."

Well, that rather said it all, didn't it? I frowned and without any words coming to the forefront of my mind, I did the first thing I could think to do. I reached behind me, grabbed my pillow, and hit him on the face. "That's what you think, Eric the big, bad vampire!"

He sat up and said, "That's what I know, Sookie the small, good human!" He took his pillow and hit me over the head.

"Hey!" I shouted.

We both stared at each other and then he smiled. "Sookie, you know that I can never be human again."

"Well, duh," I replied, eloquently, I might add.

"I could never give you certain things that a human husband could give you," he added.

I brought my knees up to my chin to rest my cheek on them, and turned my face toward the wall, away from him. "I know."

"Things like summer vacations at the beach," he said.

"Right, vacations," I said softly.

"Or Minivans," he said.

"No Minivans," I repeated.

"Or children," he said.

I took a deep breath. I didn't repeat that one. His voice was kind and gentle. "I've been married before, Sookie. I've had children. I've experienced these things, you haven't, and if you were to marry me, you never would. It's a lot to consider, and a lot to ask of you, so that is why I have not considered asking you to marry me seriously, because I suppose I know, seriously, what your answer would be, and I do have my pride."

I turned my face slowly toward him. "But I do love you, Eric. I don't know what I want."

"That seems fair," he finished. Was it, though? Was it fair to him, to me, to either of us? I sank back down in the bed, my back to him, and I felt his fingertip trace a line from my shoulder to my hip and back up again. "Let's talk about something else, beloved."

I turned to face him. "Like what?" I was all for changing the subject. He reached over and stroked my hair.

"Have you ever had a three-way?" he asked.

"A three-way?" I asked back. "Do you mean like a three-way chili?"

He stared at me for a long moment, and then his eyebrows raised, and he started to laugh, "See, this is why I know that even if I live for another thousand years, I shall never find another person like you."

I suddenly realized what he meant by a 'three-way' and I know that my cheeks turned beet-red and I hit him hard on the chest, even as he continued to laugh. "Oh, shut up, Eric!"

"What is a three-way chili?" he finally asked.

"Nothing, never mind," I grimaced, still embarrassed. "And to answer your question, yuck, no."

"Really, even when you were with Bill?" he speculated. "You never had a ménage a trois?"

I sat up again and said, "Who would have been the third person in that little scenario, Eric? Sam? Could you really imagine Bill sharing me with another man?"

"It could have been a woman," he said.

"Again," I said, with a disgusted countenance, "yuck."

"I've had many three-ways, four-ways, five-ways, six-ways …" he began. I placed my hand over his mouth to shut him up.

"I get the picture," I complained.

He removed my hand and pulled me to lie beside him. He gently bit my hand, then he leaned forward and kissed my cheek before he asked, "Would you like to try something like that sometime?"

"You want to, don't you?" I asked, shocked. "Well if this don't beat all. First, you ask me to marry you, and the next second you tell me you want to share me with another woman. That's beyond sick, Eric."

"My darling, Sookie," he murmured, with just a hint of condescension, "You and you alone are enough to satisfy me and my every craving for the rest of my lifetime. You are enough for this lifetime and possibly the next. I was only asking because I thought you might be curious, but I also thought you might be a bit too pedantic to bring up such a subject yourself."

"I don't know what pedantic means, and that bothers me," I said back. "That bothers me more than the fact that you want to have a threesome!"

"The fact that you don't know a certain word bothers you more than the fact that I asked you if you want a three-way?" he asked.

"Maybe," I said. "Because I think you might have insulted me there. What does it mean?"

"Straight-lace, priggish, moralistic, prim, proper, prudish, in other words, too Sookie," he said, and again, he smiled.

I smiled too. "Pedantic. And you are anti-pedantic."

"That I am," he crowed, proudly. I cuddled back down next to him, my head on his chest, his arm around my shoulders, his other hand playing with my hair.

"Just out of curiosity," I said, bringing my head up quickly, "And this is just a rhetorical question, mind you, so don't get your hopes up, but who would you suggest as the third party to our little threesome, if we were to have one?"

"Pam?" he proposed. I must have looked shocked, because he laughed again. "What?" he begged. "It would be perfect. She and I have had sex before, I'm her maker, so she would have to do whatever I ask of her, and she likes to have sex with both men and women, and she likes you, Sookie."

"NO!" I snapped. I placed my head back on his chest. Just to be ornery, and because I was feeling a bit churlish, I said, "Anyway, I would rather it be another man." I wanted to see what he would say to that!

"Fine with me, I've been with men before," he said easily.

I sighed. I couldn't win for losing. I pinched his arm and said, "Let's change the subject."

"What do you want to talk about, my little pedantic friend?"

"I know you told me that your maker forced you to, you know, do things with him, but you don't do that kind of thing anymore do you?" I asked. I looked up at him again. He wasn't smiling any longer. I couldn't tell what his look meant. I continued to stare at him and then I said, "What I really want to know is, you don't have sex with anyone, but me, right. I mean, right? Men or women?"

"I only have sex with you, Sookie but you know that," he confirmed huskily. He pulled me back into the cradle of his arms. He laced his fingers through my hair again and said, "And you only have sex with me, correct?"

"Except for that threesome last week with Sam and Bill," I joked.

"Not in this lifetime," he chuckled. "Have you ever had anal sex?"

I sat up, my mouth wide open again, outraged. I hit him as hard as I could on the chest. "Eric why are you being such a prick tonight? Why can't we have nice, tender, after sex talk? Why are you intent on embarrassing me? You asked me to marry you, in the most dreadful, unromantic way, and then you ask me if I would have a threesome with you and Pam, and now you ask me about anal sex! Stop being bad! You know you're doing it just to piss me off, so stop it!"

"I sincerely wish to know. I know you've never had it with me, so I wondered if you and Bill had ever experimented, since he was your first, and your so called sexual guidance counselor," he elaborated.

"Well, again, I'm going to be less than eloquent, and just say, yuck and a big, fat no, okay?" I moved from his arms, punching my pillow (wishing it were his face), and looked up at the ceiling, angry.

"You know, Sookie," he said, coming up on his elbow, and placing his hand on my stomach over the sheet. "It can be enjoyable."

"For the man, maybe," I grunted.

"And the woman," he argued amicably.

"Like you would know," I said. "When was the last time you were a woman?"

"Point taken, but when was the last time you had someone sodomize you? On that, I have the most experience, and I can tell you, it can be enjoyable for both parties," he stated with smooth conviction.

I know I opened my mouth wide again, and I was about to hit him once more, but instead, I turned back over on my side. I curled into a ball and said, "Let's not talk anymore tonight. I want to go to sleep. It'll be dawn soon, anyway."

"It's not as if I would ask that of you, if you would never wish it, Sookie. I would never make you do anything you wouldn't want to do, ever," he whispered in my ear. "And you're right, I was trying to lighten the mood, and I was trying to goad you, irritate you, and instead, I've upset you. I am sorry. I would never purposely say or do anything to upset or hurt you, because you mean more to me than anything in the whole world." He kissed my cheek. He spooned up behind me and kissed my ear. "I love you."

I bit my bottom lip and shifted onto my back. He threw his leg over me and splayed his hand across my neck and collarbone. He began to kiss my face and hair. He kissed my eye and, looking up suddenly, asked, "Why do I taste a tear, my Sookie? Have I made you cry? Have I made you remember something unpleasant from your past? Something from your great-uncle, or from those fucking fairies? Did they hurt you in such a way, and is that why such talk bothers you so?"

I shook my head no. "I didn't know I was crying," I said truthfully.

"Next you will say that you don't know why then, correct?" he asked, kissing away another tear.

"I guess it's just that you're so sweet, and even though you're a big badass most of the time, and a cocky one at that, sometimes, when we're alone like this, you'll say or do something that's so sweet and gentle, it knocks me straight off my feet," I answered.

"What did I say that was sweet and gentle this time?" he asked, a sly smile forming on his face. He kissed my right eye and said, "Was it the three-way?" He kissed my left eye and said, "Was it anal sex?" He kissed my mouth and said, "Or was it that I would never do or say anything to hurt you because I love you?"

"The first one," I joked.


	16. 16 Boxers or Briefs

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 16: Boxers or Briefs**

Eric left sometime before dawn. I slept late, as I'm apt to do these days, and when I finally woke up it was 1:47 pm. I hate waking up late. I used to love the mornings. I really did. I loved to wake when the day first broke, when the grass was still wet with dew, the birds were chirping in the trees, the day was still cool, and the sun was still low in the sky. I miss morning time.

Some days, I couldn't help but to feel as if my whole day was wasted when I woke up late, which in a way, I guess it was, in the sense that daytime was usually done by the time I woke up. It's something I'm not sure I'll ever become accustomed to. If Eric could ingest certain blood to stay awake during the day, why didn't he do it more often? He and I could do things together more often—daytime things, normal things, besides nighttime things.

However, of course, he doesn't really want people to know about the daytime blood thing yet. I wonder if he'll ever want people to know. You would think as opportunistic as Eric always has been he would find a way to bottle the daytime elixir and make millions of bucks from other vampires. The makers of the first synthetic blood were millionaires by now. This could change things for vampires all over the world.

As I stood in the shower, I thought about Larkin. I still had so many questions about the man. What did he really want with me, if anything? What did Eric suddenly have over him, to make him yield to him? Why was Eric so intent on me NOT seeing him, and now, all of the sudden, it was fine and dandy for him and me to meet? And mostly, why didn't Larkin try to get rich and famous by bottling his own blood, or other blood like his?

I was bound and determined to find out, but not today. Today, as I dressed after my shower, I decided to go see a man about a job. It was time to go back to work. I needed the money, not badly, but soon it would be a necessity. I needed human companionship, because being around vampires too much wasn't good for my mental or physical health, and I needed a purpose in life.

True, being a barmaid at Merlotte's wasn't my life's passion, but it helped fill all three of those things, so it would do for now. I hopped in my car and went right over to the bar. There wasn't one single car, save for mine, in the parking lot. I found that odd. The lunch crowd would be gone, but the dinner crowd would be coming soon, and there should at least be a few employee cars in the back lot, where I parked.

I went through the backdoor, yelling for Sam even as I stepped over the threshold. "Sam? Sam, are you here?"

There was no answer, so I stepped back outside and went over to his trailer. It was shut-up tight. I knocked on the door, called out his name again, but when no one answered, I went back to the bar. I walked around the front, and the 'Closed' sign was in the door window. I frowned as I walked back toward the backdoor. I walked right inside the bar. This time, I didn't call out to Sam. Instead, I kept real quiet and I tried to 'listen' in my own special way.

What I heard chilled me to the bone.

Sam was in his office, but he wasn't alone. He was in there with Alcide Herveaux and two other men whom I couldn't identify. I heard all of their voices, but I also heard what was NOT being said. I listened carefully to Sam's mind, and though shifter minds are hard to read, (and Weres, like Alcide, are even harder), I've known Sam for so long that I have learned to zero in on his thoughts pretty easily.

And he was thinking about me. And the thoughts were all jumbled and messed up and he was regretting something. He didn't like what Alcide was proposing and he didn't want me to get hurt. He also didn't trust Eric, or Bill, which I found interesting, because I didn't know where Bill even fit in my life anymore, and then, as if Sam said it aloud, instead of in his head, he thought if the other Weres carried out their plan that I was probably going to crack for good this time. Then I heard him say aloud, "You know that according to vampire law, Sookie and Eric are wed, and she can never be taken away from him, under pain of final death, so I don't see how your plan will work anyway."

"He can't protest if he's dead first," said someone whom I couldn't identify.

"Right," Sam spat. "Like you're gonna kill the future King of Louisiana. He's the most powerful vampire in our state."

Alcide harshly expelled, "No one's killing anyone!" He censured the other man, with low words that I could barely understand, but by this time, all I could think was: **What**? What were they talking about and how did it concern me? Why was someone talking about killing Eric, and did they mean that Eric was going to be the future King of Louisiana? My mind was swirling, and I actually felt faint.

I took a shaky breath in and called out as loud as I could, "Sam? Are you here, Sam? It's me, Sookie."

Sam came out of his office quickly and hugged me. He looked a bit guilty, and, as he hugged and greeted me, I tried to read his mind again, but he was quick to block me. "Sook, what are you doing here?"

"I thought I would come see you about getting my job back," I returned. "Is this a bad time? Why is the 'Closed' sign up? I thought I heard voices. Are you having a meeting of some type?" As I asked my questions, Sam took my hand and led me away from the office door and toward the dining room.

The door to the office opened again and Alcide walked out. He walked down the small hallway, just as the other two men walked toward the backdoor. I couldn't make out who they were. As he approached me, he smiled, his green eyes bright and blazing. "Sookie, I'm so happy to see you. I've been so worried about you." He grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

"I haven't seen you forever," I said candidly when he released me. "What are you doing in Bon Temps?"

"I have business with Sam," he replied easily. He smiled again and said, "Did I hear right? You want to start working here again?"

"Well, yes," I said, somewhat hesitantly.

"Eric doesn't take care of his little woman? He doesn't give you any pocket money?" he asked.

I became immediately angry, my face flushed red. I said, eyes bright with resentment, "I am not a kept woman, Alcide."

"No, of course not, I didn't mean it like that," he said self-consciously, although I knew better. He _did_ mean it like that. I frowned and Sam took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Go sit down and I'll be with you in a moment, Cher," Sam said quietly.

I nodded and went to sit down in at one of the tables out in the dining room. Sam finished up his business quickly, talking in tones that were so low I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear the other way, either. I didn't get to see who the other two men in his office were, but Alcide walked toward me before he left and he said, "I'll see you soon, Sookie."

"I doubt that," I huffed. I crossed my arms and glared at him. He just smiled and turned around and left.

Sam walked back out toward the table. "Now, what's this about you wanting to work here again?"

"Oh," I said, my anger gone. "I need to have something to do again, Sam. I'm bored, and though money's not real tight yet, it will be soon, and yes, Eric would give me money if I asked for it, but I would never ask for it."

He gave me a funny look, which I couldn't decipher. "I don't have a position open, Sookie, but seriously, you need to talk to Bill if you are having money trouble."

"Bill?" There goes his name again. "Why would I have to talk to Bill?"

"Just go talk to him at sundown tonight, and he'll explain to you that you really don't need to work, Sookie. I'm sorry, but I really can't have you work here anymore. It's not really because I couldn't use you, because, sure, I could always use another waitress," Sam explained, adding, "it's just that things have changed, and I'm not sure I could keep you safe here."

"Safe? From the bar patrons?" I laughed. "Sam, I've been handling drunks and disorderly people for years now. You know that."

"It goes beyond that, Sook, and besides, have you spoken to Eric about working here? I doubt he would want you to do that," he censured.

"I told him I wanted to start working again," I confirmed and then frowned. "And I do what I want, not what Eric Northman wants."

He merely crossed his arms, sat back in the chair, and nodded. "Hmmm."

"Fine," I said with exasperation. I stood up. "I'll go talk to Bill and see what the hell's going on here." I started to the door, but turned back around and said tautly, "By the way, you tell your little Were friend if anything happens to Eric Northman, he'll have to answer to me."

"How long were you out here?" Sam asked carefully. "How much did you hear?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," I snapped.

I got in my car and drove all around town, bound and determined not to go home until I spoke to Bill, not even considering that I had a good few hours or so until sundown. I went to the drugstore and bought some shampoo. I went to the Library, and checked out two new books. I went to the grocery store and got some soda-pop and some snacks, and then I drove to Bill's house, sat in my car, opened one of the cans of pop, ate some chips and read until it became so dark out that I could no longer see the printed word on the page.

I knew it was time to see Bill.

I looked up at his house, and noticed that a light had come on inside. I wondered if he could sense that I was out here. Did we still share a bond? I wondered if he ever still thought about me. Did he still love me? A small, selfish, self-centered part of me, (which I probably inherited from Eric during our blood bond, ha!) wanted Bill still to love me, even though I no longer loved him. I no longer doubted that Bill really did love me at one time, even though it all started out as a ruse, a ploy by the queen to secure my alliance, and although I hated Bill for so long, for all his lies, I no longer hated him. I had forgiven him.

After all, he saved my life from the fairies, and that meant a lot.

I thought of other times he had saved my life, like that very first time, from the Rats. That started everything. He saved my life, gave me his blood, and my life changed forever.

Eric had saved my life so many times I was losing count, but then again, the score was fairly even, since I had saved his life a few times, too. He saved me from being killed by Long Shadow by staking him, and he had to pay a large fine to Long Shadow's maker after that. He saved me from being shot in Dallas, even if he did lie to me by telling me that I had to suck out the bullet. He saved me from being shot by Debbie Pelt. He saved me from being raped and maybe killed in the back of that Cadillac by Bill. He saved me after I was staked at Club Dead, he saved me from sharing blood with Andre, and though that may not have been a technical save, it was still a save in my book.

Eric and Bill were different as night and day. They had both shown how much they had loved me, but they had done it for very different reasons. They had both saved my life on different occasions, but again, they did it for different reasons. Bill did it openly, and as if to say, "I saved your life, because I love you." Eric did it quietly, as if to say, "I love you, therefore, I saved your life."

They were two different men, and I realized that although Bill was the first man I had ever loved, Eric would be the last.

I often equated them as being like boxers and briefs. One was stylish and modern, and hid nothing. That was Eric. He was the briefs. He was what he was with no pretense, and he was proud of it.

One was comfortable and old-fashioned, and hid a multitude of sins. That was Bill. He was the boxers. He appeared to be one thing on the outside, but on the inside, he was always something different.

I opened my purse and took out my phone. I dialed the number that was number one on my speed dial.

"Hello lover," he answered, just as I knew he would.

"Guess where I've been for the last few hours," I said.

"Oh, are we playing guessing games?" he murmured, his voice smooth as velvet. "I would rather guess what you are wearing. Are you wearing anything at all?"

I sighed. "Eric, I'm outside Bill's house, waiting to go talk to him, because Sam told me that I needed to talk to him about money. Do you know anything about this?"

"I might," he replied. "Are you going to go talk to Compton alone, or are you calling me because you want me to come with you to talk to him?"

"I want to know what's going on before I go in there. I also want to know if you're angling to become the future king of this fine state."

"Well, you have been busy today, my pretty little beloved," he observed with a laugh. "What other gossip do you have for me? You seem to be a fountain of knowledge this evening."

"Well …" I drew out, "I know that Sam told some guy that was with Alcide Herveaux today that I was your wife under vampire law, so that it would be real bad if anyone tried to take me, and then this guy said something about killing you."

That little tidbit was met with complete silence. "Eric?" I took the phone down from my ear to look to see if the call had dropped. I put it back to my ear. "Are you there?"

"Where did you see Alcide today?" he questioned, a definite coolness now lacing each word.

"I was in the bar to see Sam about getting my old job back, and I overheard Sam, Alcide, and two men whom I have never heard before talking about you and me, and about how I couldn't be taken from you because we were wed under vampire law, and it would mean death to whomever tried to take me, and the one guy said that you couldn't kill someone if you were dead." That was such a long sentence that I barely had a chance to breath. I added quickly, "And they said something 'bout you being the new King."

Again, there was no sound from Eric's end. I fretted, "Eric? Come on, Eric, are you there?"

The next thing I knew, Bill ran out from his house, not quite at vampire speed, but pretty, damn fast, his phone to his ear. He opened my car door and said, "Yes, Eric, I have her. I'll keep her safe until you get here." He literally picked me up and carried me, my purse, my phone, and my book into his house, slamming the car door shut with his foot in the process.

What kind of shit had I stepped into this time?


	17. 17 Fluffy Pillows

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 17: Fluffy Pillows**

I paced back and forth in Bill's old-fashioned living room as Bill and Eric spoke to each other in the foyer in soft, muted whispers, meant only for vampires to hear. The reason I wasn't part of the conversation was that from the moment Eric arrived, which was only ten minutes after Bill brought me inside, to this moment, I wasn't ALLOWED to be part of the conversation.

When Bill first brought me in his house I asked him what was happening, and he told me to wait until Eric arrived. Then he offered me some sweet tea. He said he always kept some made just in case I came to visit. I thought that was odd so I refused.

Fifteen minutes later Eric arrived. I started to run to his arms, in some fit of romantic flare, happy to see him, anxious for some answers, but he stopped me at arm's length, turned to Bill, asked him if he had called Sam yet. Then, when I asked what was going on, he had the nerve to put his finger to his mouth to hush me.

HE HUSHED ME!

So now, I was pacing back and forth in the other room, still clueless, and I kept looking toward them, anger seeping out of every pore. Every once in a while Bill would point toward me, shake his head, and make some point about something or other, only to have Eric point toward me, and then shake his head back.

"Hey! Didn't your mamas ever teach you it's impolite to talk about people and to point at them, to boot?" I yelled.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart," Bill said, turning to face me.

"Don't apologize to her. She's being just as rude as we are," Eric maintained. He walked into the living room and asked provocatively, "Is it too much to ask that you give us a few minutes alone? I promise we will explain everything to you in a moment."

I wanted to bitch-slap Eric Northman so badly that my hand itched. He smiled, walked up to me and said, "I wouldn't do it if I were you. I might hit back right now, with the mood I'm in." Sometimes I hated it when he could sense my moods!

"Why are you in a bad mood?" I inhaled.

He took his right hand and pushed on my chest, gently, to force me to sit on the couch. He turned to Bill and demanded, "Go get the shifter. I need to find out what he learned from Alcide."

"If the Weres have decided to side against you Eric, then you know that means you'll fail, don't you?" Bill reproached, "And you put Sookie in even greater danger than she's been in before."

I waved my hand and said testily, "Sookie's right here and it's just as rude to talk about me aloud, as it was to talk quietly about me, you know."

Bill sighed and walked out his door, looking back toward me once. When Eric and I were finally alone, he sat next to me on the couch, but before I could ask any questions, he raised a hand and insisted, "Hush."

"I will not be hushed by you again, Mr. Northman!" I seethed. I started to say something else, a bit more colorful, but he placed his hand on my mouth, grabbed me around the waist with his other hand, and stood up so suddenly that I was dizzy. My back was against his chest, his arm around my waist, and somehow, we were up against the wall, near the front windows.

"Shhh," he hushed in my ear. "We're not alone. That's why I wanted you to be quiet, lover. I meant no disrespect. I need to listen, to see how many of them are out there, and to make sure that Bill got through safely."

I looked over my shoulder at him, my eyes searching his, but he was looking out the window. He finally looked back down at me, but then he smiled, a half smile, an impish smile, and he kissed my mouth quickly. "Are you afraid, lover?" he asked.

"Should I be?"

He merely shook his head no. "I'm not afraid, so there's no reason for you to be. You believe me, don't you?" Then he gave me a real smile, a dazzling smile, and he finally affirmed, "I would protect you all the days of my life."

"Why do I need protecting, Eric?"

"Because once again, there are those who want to take you from me," he replied enigmatically. He turned me in his arms and his arms went around my waist, holding me so tightly against his body that his arms wrapped around me until his fingertips skimmed the sides of my breasts, and I had to stand on tiptoes to reach him. He kissed me hard and passionately. When he stopped kissing me I was almost out of breath. He said, "And there are those who apparently want to take me from you, too. Alcide and his cronies are planning to kidnap me; at least, that's what your friend, the dog, told me today on the phone when he called me."

I pushed away from him and he offered no resistance. I began to breathe hard. That's what Sam was worried about when I honed in on his thoughts. He knew if they hurt Eric, or took him away from me, that I might not recover from the pain. I turned to look out the window, but it was futile; I couldn't see a thing in the pitch-dark night. I turned back to Eric and said, "Why would Alcide want to kidnap you?"

"It seems I have a bounty on my head, isn't that quaint?" he snorted. "I've angered our esteem king by going over his head, to barter a deal with the kings of some powerful, Northern states. I want freedom for our state, and I want out from under the sovereignty of Nevada. I've already angered him when you and I became bound, and now that he knows that you are part fae, he's even angrier." He looked out the window once more and said grimly, "They're still out there, but we're safe enough," and he pulled me back to the couch.

"How does he know that I have fairy blood?"

"Larkin Talkington told him, but of course," he replied drolly, as if I should have already deduced that.

I swallowed hard, "Do you want to be King of Louisiana? That's what I overheard today."

"I swear, I have no such want," he said. I believed him until he added, "I merely do not want to be at the beck and call of swine like de Castro. Scum like him should show me fealty, not the other way around. Who is _he_ to tell me what to do in my own state?"

I wasn't sure that answered my question, because it seemed as if maybe he did want to be king. I looked back out the window. "Who's out there?"

"Vampires and some Weres. I suspect your dear cousin is out there as well. It seems our temporary peace has ended. I didn't think it would last long, seeing that I was blackmailing him and all," Eric said lazily.

I grasped his hand and said, "Please, try for one moment to tell me the truth. Tell me everything."

He smiled, caressing my cheek, "No."

I hit him as hard as I could on the chest. He hardly flinched. "You make me so mad!"

"The word is angry," he parried. "Mad denotes insanity, and you are anything but insane."

"Fine, Eric, now I'm really ANGRY, because I hate it when you treat me like an ignorant hick!" I tried to stand up, but he grabbed my hand.

"I really am sorry," he said, snaring my gaze. I could tell, both from his expression and through our bond that he was, too. I sat back down and beseeched him with my eyes to talk to me, tell me the truth, tell me anything! "I can't tell you everything, my love. Someday, I will, but we don't have time right now."

"At least tell me why Alcide told me to talk to Bill about money," I pleaded.

"Your grandfather left you a very sizable trust fund, Sookie," he finally said.

"How sizable?" I asked, almost afraid to do so.

"Very. Compton is the trustee, unfortunately. Your great-grandfather must have thought that would be best. He didn't think that love and money should mix, so he named Bill as trustee, instead of me," Eric explained. "It makes no never mind. I don't need your money, and for all his faults, Compton will do what is best for you, and he would never cheat you."

"Why do I need a trustee? Why can't I administer my own inheritance?"

He shrugged, "It's the way of the fae. They are traditional. He wouldn't think that an unmarried woman could handle her own money. Besides, Niall's money is still tied up in businesses and factories that cater to supernatural beings, so he probably thought it was best if a supernatural being was in charge of it. Your cousin, the bastard, for that's what he really is, made himself known to us right after your grandfather crossed over. He thought he should inherit as well, or in the very least, be named your trustee."

"Did he know Niall? Did Niall know him?" I knew I asked the same thing twice, only slightly different.

"I'm sure they were acquainted, but because of your cousin's strange makeup, part fae, part vampire, part human, your grandfather would not have wanted to have anything to do with him," Eric reasoned. "Larkin contacted Bill right after the trusteeship was named. It was a mere days after the Fairy War, and you were still recovering. Larkin claims he fought on our side, but he was not on our side as far as we knew. He wanted to contact you immediately, but Bill and I kept him away."

"So you were more afraid of him taking my money then of him hurting me, because I was a competitor in his little vampire-daylight saving blood elixir?"

Eric looked amused, "Is that what you've decided to call it? That's a very complicated name."

"Hell, I don't know what to call it," I rolled my eyes.

He stroked his finger down my face. "I was indeed afraid he would hurt you out of jealousy, anger, and because you threatened his main means of making a living, which was selling his own blood to wealth vampires, one of which is our dear King Felipe. He was also jealous that you inherited what he felt was his birthright."

"He can have all of Niall's money, I just want everyone to leave me alone," I cried desperately. I hugged my knees, resting my cheek on my thigh. "I know it's a pipedream, but I really, really want to be left alone."

He rubbed his hand up and down my back, stopping only long enough to lean over me, nuzzling, "I hope that doesn't include me." He kissed the top of my head. "You don't want me to leave you alone, do you?"

I didn't know how to answer that, because while I didn't want Eric ever to leave me, I could do without all the drama. I turned my head back toward him.

"I love you, Eric."

I guessed that answered his question. I hope it did. It was the best I could say under the circumstances.

Suddenly he jumped off the couch and went to the door. I sat up, apprehensive and afraid. Eric opened the door, and Bill entered with Sam. I couldn't help myself … I ran to Sam's arms. He was welcoming and familiar.

"What's happening, Sam?" I asked, fear clutching my throat.

Sam shook his head, but looked at Eric when he reported, "It's all happening just as I told you it would. The Weres are siding with de Castro. I told you that they would. That part fairy-part vampire dude contacted me, because he knew that I was close to Sookie, and he wanted me to side with them as well. He claims that he'll never hand Sookie over to de Castro, but I don't believe him. You had better get a hold of your northern friends, but quick, Eric. They're coming for you tonight. You might have been able to hold them off if you hadn't made that Larkin character so angry!"

"NO!" I shouted. I grabbed Eric's hands. "No, really, no! Please!"

"No one is going to hurt me, Sookie," he assured calmly. "And no one will ever hurt you again. My friends are already on their way, and we have certain advantages of which the others are not yet aware." He was no longer smiling, however, so I wasn't convinced.

Sam rubbed his hand up and down my arm. His voice was kind and gentle, "Cher, we have friends, too. There are others who'll be happy to get rid of the Nevada vamps, and they've already been contacted that the time has arrived to act."

"Who's on our side?" I croaked. No one answered. Bill walked to the living room, and looked out at the dark night beyond the window. Sam smiled at me, and touched my cheek with his index finger, before he went to sit on the couch, his hands clasped tightly between his legs, his left leg jiggling up and down nervously.

That left Eric. "Who's on our side?" I persisted. This time, I framed Eric's face with my hands. "Eric?"

He removed my hands from his face by grabbing my wrists. He moved me toward the stairs, and soon we were traveling up them. It seemed as if I was moving effortlessly. I probably wasn't moving at all. He was moving for us both. I felt like my insides were wound up tighter than a drum. Somehow, I don't remember how, we ended up in Bill's bedroom.

Eric closed the bedroom door and grabbed my hands. He said, "Your hands are cold."

"How would you know?" I countered. His hands were always cold, so how could he tell if mine were cold as well?

He pulled me to sit on the side of Bill's bed, and then he sat right beside me. I looked all around. Everything was so familiar here. He began to look around as well. "Did you like this room, Sookie?"

I narrowed my gaze at him, perplexed. "What are you asking me, Eric? I won't talk about my past sex life with Bill, not at time like this!"

"Get your thoughts out of the gutter," he said, with another grin. "I meant did you like coming here, to Bill's house?"

"Yes, I guess," I responded.

"Does it seem strange to you that you've never been to my house?" he asked intensely.

I looked at his large hand as it covered both of mine. "I think it's sort of strange," I finally answered.

"Why haven't you ever been to my house, Sookie?" he asked.

I look over at the other wall, to avoid his stare. "You've never invited me." That sounded feeble, even to me.

"Where do I even live?" His voice was silky. I looked at him. "You don't know, do you? Did you ever come to Bill's house without being invited?"

"Yeah, sure," I shrugged a shoulder. I suddenly felt corrosive with guilt, and I wasn't entirely certain why. "Eric, let's take care of one of our problems at a time, okay? If we get out of this unscathed, I'll come to visit you, and I'll even bring you a house warming present, like a nice bundt cake or something, or maybe a fern."

"Do you think you would ever be happy with me, just me and you together, at my house, or yours, just being together?" he asked, his blue eyes watchful. Suddenly, all bravado was gone. He was just Eric. Just Eric.

He reminded me of the Eric that I first fell in love with, the one that I found wandering barefoot during the middle of the night, in the middle of January, after that witch cursed him. The Eric who had forgotten who he was. It was easier to love that Eric. Did that mean that I loved a fake Eric? Was I in love with the thought of a man who wasn't even real? This Eric was complicated. This Eric had so many complications in his life that I felt merely like one more.

I started to cry. "I do love you." Again, it didn't answer his question, exactly, but it was the truth, and it was the way I felt. He pulled me over to his lap, and rocked me back and forth, giving me comfort and reassurance. "I don't know what else to say, Eric. I would love to be able to have a normal life with you. I realize I might never get everything that I've always dreamt of, a little ranch style house, green shutters, a red door. Pink rosebushes in front, a little blond baby, who looks just like you, playing in the yard, a dog, a cat, a floral couch with fluffy pillows, but I'm not sure that matters anymore."

"Don't forget the minivan," he added.

I laughed, even as I cried. "Right, no minivan, but Eric, I really mean this from the bottom of my heart, I love you, and I'll support you the best I can, but you have to start being honest with me. You have to start trusting me, and you have to make me a promise that maybe someday, we might have somewhat of a normal life, if we are going to have a life together."

He seemed circumspect, the way he dropped my hand and stood. "You'll never have a normal life with me, but I'm selfish, and I won't give you up no matter what, even if it means no ranch house, no rosebushes, no little blond baby, who looks just like you not me, no cat, no flowery sofa with puffy pillows…"

"Fluffy pillows," I corrected.

"Fluffy pillows, and no minivan, but dammit, Sookie, what I do promise you is a life full of living, a life full of love, a life with me, forever, if you want, or at least, as long as we both shall live." I stood up and threw my arms around him. He whispered in my ear, "When this is over, will you come to my house for a conventional date? I'm asking, will you accept?"

"Oh, Eric," I said frantically, pain suffusing my face. Then I answered the only way I knew how, with the same response I had given him all night. "I love you."

While we were locked in our embrace, Bill appeared at the bedroom door and opened it quickly. "Eric, the time has come. They're here."


	18. 18 Elvis has left the Building

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 18: Elvis, I mean Eric, Has Left the Building**

Bill appeared at the bedroom door and opened it quickly. "Eric, the time has come. They're here."

Eric held me tight and kissed me quickly. "Sookie, stay up here with Bill for just a moment. I have to go downstairs for a while. I'll be right back up, I promise." He went to the door, but before he left, Bill whispered something in his ear. He nodded, looked back at me, frowned, and ran down the stairs.

Bill stood in the doorway, but didn't consider to look at me.

I waited for what felt like forever, but was really only a few moments. I paced by Bill's bed, and I was just about to look out the window when I felt a hand on my arm. I gasped as the person turned me around. It was Eric.

I looked up at Eric as he held me in his arms and I knew he felt my fear, my apprehension, my worry, but still, he smiled and tried to brush it all aside. "Lover, it seems I have visitors. Will you do me one small, infinitesimal, minuscule, tiny, little favor? It will be so small, you will hardly notice it."

"What, Eric? What?"

"Stay up here, and don't come down until I've left," he said. "No matter what, stay up here with Bill. He's going to stay with you until dawn, and then the shifter will see you home."

"Where are you going?" I asked, a hitch to my voice.

"I have to leave for a while," was all he would say. He patted my back in a soothing pattern, and I stayed motionless in his arms, afraid if I moved a muscle he would leave right then and there. He lifted me slightly and walked over to the bed, held me in his lap, and said soothing words in that language he sometimes used, until my heartbeat became regular again. His hand slid over my waist and hip, and it was so familiar, real, and reassuring, but I knew that soon it would be gone. I felt his lips brush lightly over my hair, to my forehead. He finally murmured my name and I looked up at him, his blue eyes brighter than I ever imagined, and longing for something unattainable, out of his reach, which made me nervous all over again.

"But who's here? Who's taking you away, the bad guys or the good guys?" I asked. I clutched the front of his shirt, and I swear, he gave me another reluctant smile, and I felt like slapping that smile right off his face, the stupid son-of-a-bitch.

He merely continued to smile, he wrenched my hands from his shirt, stood up with me by his side, and said, his voice distant, "Bill." Bill walked over and embraced me from behind.

"But where are you going?" I agonized, struggling to get out of Bill's clutches.

His smile vanished and he took my chin in his hand, brought my face up to his and while Bill Compton held me tightly from behind, Eric kissed my lips softly, so softly it felt like a breeze blowing past my face, and he said, "I love you, and I'll be back soon."

My heart slammed against my ribs. I stomped my foot again and said, "Not good enough, Eric! Tell me where you're going and with who!"

He turned before he left the bedroom, smiled again, and said, "With _whom_, darling girl, with _whom_, not with _who_." He laughed, turned back around and was gone so fast I didn't even see him leave. I began to cry and if Bill hadn't been behind me to hold me up, I would have fallen on the spot. In fact, Bill lifted me up and placed me on his big old bed.

And I cried and cried.

I cried all night, and I didn't even know why I was crying.

When dawn came, Bill walked up to the bed, where I had spent the night crying, and stroked my head and said, "I have to seek my daytime rest now, Sookie. Sam is downstairs."

I grabbed Bill's hand. He sat next to my legs on the bed. "Where did Eric go?" I demanded.

"I really don't know," he responded carefully.

"Who was waiting outside your house, when he first arrived? It had to be just Weres and Vamps, because I couldn't read any of them."

"Yes, there were some Weres; I assume Alcide and some others. That vampire fairy anomaly, who claims to be your kin, was there as well. When I left to get Sam I could only smell them, I didn't see them. I could tell there were some vampires there as well, but none that I knew," he answered.

I rolled over to my back, took his hand in both of mine and held it tightly. "Did the good Vamps, Eric's friends from the North, ever come? Did he go with them?"

"Yes, they came," he said reluctantly.

That answer didn't _answer_ my question so I asked again, "And Eric went with them?"

Bill closed his eyes, took his hand from mine and cursed. "I hate that Eric left me to do his dirty work!"

I sat up on the bed. Bill turned to me and said bluntly, "No, Sookie, he didn't leave with the good vampires, as you call them. He couldn't. There weren't enough of them, and there wasn't enough time to broker peace. Larkin told him that no harm would come to you, or to him, if he went with them peacefully, so because we were outnumbered, that's what he did."

I stood up and screamed, "NO!"

"He had no choice, darling," Bill maintained, his lips pulling taut against his teeth in a grimace. "Felipe knows of his treachery, but by this time, that hardly matters. Larkin Talkington is playing for himself, so it would seem. The Northern Vampires are still going to try to broker a peace, and they will try to get Eric back, through the proper channels, I swear."

I sat down on the bed, numb, eyes closed. "No." It was all I could think to say. Sam stood in the doorway. "Go on to bed, Bill. I'll see to her."

Somehow, I ended up at home. I don't even know how. Somehow, I ended up in a pair of sweats, again, I don't know how. Somehow, I ended up in my bed. Nevertheless, I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't cry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was happening, or why it was happening. Why would Eric have to go with those men? Was it to protect me? If he did this for me, I would kill him, plain and simple.

I knew one simple truth. I could still feel him. That alone brought me a bit of comfort.

Jason came later in the day, stepped into my room, spoke to me, but I didn't listen to a word he said. Sam kept checking on me, off and on. Around four in the afternoon, I had to go to the bathroom so bad I thought I would burst, so I went. On my way back to bed, I heard someone knock on the front door.

Then all hell broke loose. I heard yelling, cursing, banging and the like. I ran from my room and I saw Jason on the floor, being held there by Alcide, and Sam up against the wall, being held there by none other than Larkin Talkington.

He turned to look at me. "Nice to see you, Cousin. Do you mind if we have a talk?"

"Let him go!" I screamed to Larkin and then I looked down at the floor and said, my voice raging with resentment, "Alcide, let my brother go, too!"

"Gladly," Larkin said dispassionately. He let go of Sam's throat, because that's where he was holding him … one hand, only one hand, to the throat. Alcide got up from the floor, but he kept hold of Jason's arm. He brought Jason up with him, holding his arm behind him to keep him at bay. My brother was strong, but Alcide was stronger. Sam rushed up to me and put his body in front of mine.

Larkin rolled his eyes, "Your chivalry is admirable, shifter, but not necessary. Do you really think I would hurt my own blood? Step aside. I need to speak to Sookie."

"Speak to her here," Jason said bravely, (well, as bravely as one could while being held against his will).

Larkin held up his hand, "I promise, no harm will come to her. I could have killed her many, many times by now if I had wanted to, but I haven't. Eric hasn't really been protecting her as much as it is that I haven't really tried very hard to hurt her. If I had wanted to hurt her by now—or kill her, she would be dead. Even after Eric began his supposed blackmailing of me, I could have killed her if I wanted to, or had her killed, but I didn't. Now, run along, doggie, you too, Cousin Jason. I want to talk to Sookie, alone."

He seemed resolute, but Sam and Jason seemed just as staunch as he was, so I finally just grabbed Larkin's hand and pulled him toward the back porch. I grabbed my jacket, the one from Eric, off the peg by the door on the service porch, and then opened the back door, walked outside, and waited for him to follow me.

I sat on the steps to listen to what he had to say. He sat next to me.

"So, the tables have turned," he observed dryly.

"Cut the crap and tell me what you want," I shot back.

He laughed, "Very well. First things first, Eric is gone, probably not for good, but I can hope. In other words, or in words that are plain enough for someone like you to understand, Elvis has left the building." He laughed at his own joke.

"What do you mean, Eric's gone?"

My throat began to close, at the implication of his words, but then I realized, he wasn't Gone-Gone, because if he was GONE I wouldn't still be able to feel him through the bond, and I could. I could still feel him.

"Eric has left the state," he said. "He's been taken to Las Vegas to face a tribunal, and the charges are treason." He looked at me and smiled. I wanted to hit him so badly, but I kept my anger in check. "He has many friends, mind you. The Northern kings, from some very powerful states, are going to be his witnesses, and are going to tell the tribunal how Felipe took control of the state without just cause, and when it was vulnerable."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because I am working for the temporary Sheriff," he replied matter-of-factly. "And you are my kin, so you are now under my protection."

"What was your role in Eric's downfall?" I asked.

He smiled a wicked smile, "Sookie, dear, Eric's downfall started the moment he fell in love with you." He stood up. "I don't frankly care how all of this turns out, he can live or die, become king or be reinstated as Sheriff. I could care less. I only want one thing from all of this."

"What? My inheritance? You can have it, I don't want it. Total control of the fairy-blood market so that Vamps can stay awake during the day? Fine, Eric says my blood is too diluted anyway, so it's all yours. Whatever you want, and whatever's in my power to give you, I will, just help Eric! Help him!" I stood before him, pleading with him.

He scratched the side of his face, and for a moment, I thought he looked confused. He stilled. "You really don't know, do you? For a telepath, sometimes you are completely obtuse, although I know you can't read my mind, I would still think it was plainly obvious what I want. I don't want your inheritance. I hated Niall, and the fact that he gave his money and businesses to you means little to me, since I have plenty of money of my own. I know your blood is of no real consequence, so I'm not afraid of you taking over my vampire blood trade. No, Sookie, really, haven't you figured it out yet? Don't you know?"

"What?" I asked. I grabbed the front of his jacket and held on tight.

"I want you."

"Holy Shit," I winced, eyes wide, letting go of his jacket, and falling back down on the steps.


	19. 19 So Help me God

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 19: So Help me God**

I looked up at Larkin from my place on the back steps, "Repeat that, and then explain it. You want me, _how?_"

He smiled, cocked one eyebrow in the air and laughed. I didn't see what was so amusing, so I said, "Seriously, you want me?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"In what way?" I struggled with the concept. My mind was on overdrive because this man, fairy, vampire combo was supposed to be my cousin, and though I was raised in the south, I don't quite go for that 'sleeping with your cousin' sort of thing. I mean, this was Louisiana, not Kentucky, right? _(*Sorry __Kentucky__)_

He reached for my hand, but I flinched and placed both my hands under my legs on the cement steps. He grinned, "In what way do you think I want you? You are a beautiful, desirable woman, who is part fae, just like me. There is no one more perfect for me. I am an unnatural creature, perhaps the only one of my kind, and in many ways, you too are one of a kind."

"Na-ah," I said as a no. "Jason is the same as me, mostly human, part fae, so was my cousin Hadley, and well, I don't know if you have any brothers or sisters, (_if he had sisters, he probably would want to marry them or something_) but Fintan might have other children out there."

"But you're different than Jason, different than Hadley," he said smoothly, coming closer. He placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to stare into his eyes. "I'm different than Hadley. She was vampire, who used to be a human and who had fae ancestry. I'm mostly fae, Sookie, and somehow, even though I've been turned, I still hold all the characteristics of a fairy. I can go out in the daytime, I still have most of my magic and powers, and I'm still susceptible to iron. I just happen to have fangs occasionally, and a propensity toward blood. I don't need blood to keep me alive, unlike most Vampires. You see, I'm an oddity, as are you."

He released my chin and sat beside me. "Those who know my dirty little secret, that being that I'm part vampire, think of me as an oddity. The truth is, very few people know that I am part vampire. Very few. That was what Eric held over my head, well, and something else. He threatened to tell. I'm not even certain how he found out, probably from Niall. It doesn't make a difference, because the king now knows, as does the new Sheriff, Victor."

"Victor's the new Sheriff?" I asked stiffly. I wonder what Pam and the others thought about that.

"Temporarily, yes," he replied.

"Okay, back the bus up, tell me how I fit in the equation again, because you're one of the best looking men I've ever met, next to Eric, of course. You could get any woman, so why me?"

Seriously, why me? I knew why most vampires were drawn to me … it was the fairy blood, but the fairy blood wouldn't draw another fairy to me, would it?

He smiled, and again, I was almost struck by the sheer beauty of the man, and then I shuddered, because of the fear I felt when I was near him. "I think we could be good together, you and I, also, I want to see if we could possibly have an offspring together. I believe I'm still fertile, unlike other vampires."

"Well, yuck," I blurted, turning crimson. I stood up. "I'm your cousin, and even if we did have a baby together, it would probably have three eyes or would be missing a few chromosomes. We're related!"

He laughed again, and it struck me that his laugh was as menacing as his smile. "In the fae realm, it is not so unusual for those of the same bloodline to mate and have offspring. It is often done."

"You want to be a father that badly?"

"You're so naïve sometimes, Sookie," he offered by way of explanation. "I want the power that our mating would give me. I want to be the beginning of something, I want to be at the pinnacle, the very heart of a race, the first. You would be at my right hand. You would have power beyond what you can imagine. With your gifts, and my bloodline, we could easily rule the supernatural world."

"I just want to be a normal woman," I insisted. If only things were that simple.

"And marriage to Eric Northman is normal? Being bonded to him is your life's dream?" He shook his head, held my chin between his thumb and forefinger and said, "You _are_ naïve. I'll give you time to consider my offer."

He started to walk away but I called out, "What's in it for me?"

"Ah … of course," he smiled. "It would be remiss of me not to offer you something in return. I would fight to have Eric released. I may not be successful, but I promise you I would try."

"I'm bonded to him, by blood and a pledge. That wouldn't be easily broken. Besides, once he was free, he would kill you."

"No, he wouldn't," he said with calm certainty, shaking his head. He stepped so close to me I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and goose bumps form on my arms. "Because believe me, he is powerful, and strong, but I am more so. Also, if you were the one to break the pledge to him, he would have to give you up willingly." He leaned forward more, though he was already close enough that I could see every pore on his face, and he kissed my cheek.

"Think about it, Sookie," he urged. "Otherwise, Eric might not live to see another year, and I would still have you in the end. Your choices are few. Have me, and Eric lives, or have me, and Eric dies. It seems like a clear cut choice to me." He called out to Alcide, who walked out the door. He walked by me, not looking back at me once, the stupid coward.

They both walked toward the woods, and once at the edge, Larkin turned back and said, "I'll give you a week to decide, Sookie, but only a week."

Sam and my brother stood behind me by this time. I turned and explained everything to them. Jason called Larkin every choice name he could think of and then some. Sam made a few faces, but kept quiet. He finally said, "I think I might know one last person who can help us, Sookie, but it's a gamble, and it will require me to leave for a few days. Will you be okay until I get back?"

"I'll take care of her, along with Vampire Bill," Jason said. "After all, she's my sister. The others from Hotshot will help out, too."

"Well, actually, Bill will probably have to come with me," Sam explained, without really explaining. We all waited until sunset, and when Bill came walking through the graveyard, toward my house, Sam ran out to meet him. They stood there, talking for a real long time.

When they both came back to my house, I went back out to the back steps, and I watched as they approached. When Sam was upon me, I merely nodded to him. I didn't know what he had planned, and I knew we needed all the help we could get. I sat on the steps until Bill came to say goodbye to me, and then he and Sam left. Jason said he would spend the night. He made a frozen pizza, and popped a movie into the DVD player.

I took a long bath, and while in the bath, I inevitably thought of Eric. I remembered one time, before the Fairy War, when he came over to visit me. I closed my eyes to relive this memory clearly. I needed to remember him. I needed to feel close to him. I needed him.

We had just argued, as we did so often, but I don't even recall why we argued, or what we had said to each other. It wasn't a bad argument, it was just one where he had irritated me to no end, as he always did. He thought he was right about something, and I thought I was right about something, and neither of us would concede to the other.

I finally yelled at him to get out of my house (although I didn't rescind his invitation or anything), and went to my bedroom, and fell backwards on my bed, and stared up at the ceiling. Eric walked in the room, uninvited, unannounced, and after I had already told him to get the hell out of my house.

"Did you come to apologize?" I asked him.

"What do you think?" he asked. He placed his body beside mine on my bed, his hand coming to rest on my stomach. Then, he did something shocking. He tickled me. It was such a human, natural, normal thing to do. Something a human boyfriend might do to make his human girlfriend smile.

However, I barely smiled at him.

He leaned over and kissed my lips. He placed sweet little kisses over all my face, and my mouth. His fingertips traced the line of my lips, and then my eyebrows. He kissed the corners of my mouth, then just the top lip, then the bottom lip, and then he brought his tongue out and traced the line of my lips again.

He repeated this until he had kissed me so many times that I had lost count, yet he never deepened the kiss. The very last time, he kept his lips on mine and with more pressure and force, he opened my mouth to him. His kiss intensified as his hands went to my breasts.

He did the same little thing to my breasts as he had done to my mouth. On the outside of my blouse, he traced little lines with his fingers all around my nipples, up and over my breast, and occasionally he would kiss me over my blouse. When his hands were on my breasts, I happily opened my mouth to him.

I brought both hands up to his neck, to the back of his head, to hold him closer. I squirmed on the bed, trying to get him to lie on top of me, or trying to get me on top of him, but he showed amazing restraint. He seemed content to stay beside me.

I reached over and unbuttoned his shirt; at the exact moment, he slipped mine over my head. Clad in only a bra from the waist up, he looked at me intimately. I can honestly say that he looked at me with love. I swear his skin was smooth and like porcelain. He moved my bra down, and kissed my exposed breasts. He kissed one breast, and then he would place his tongue flat against the whole areola. He swirled the tip with his tongue, bringing it to a hard point. He did the same to the other. My hands weren't unoccupied. They stroked his back, shoulders, and chest. He stood up, removed his pants, and then he slowly unzipped my jeans, shimmed them down my legs, and threw them to the floor.

We hadn't exchanged a single word since he started his little assault. We didn't need words, not when we had kisses and hands, and such.

Nevertheless, the spell was broken when he looked down in my face and said, "Do you concede that I was right earlier and that you were wrong?" I was shocked, and about to tell him that I conceded nothing when he added, "Do you know how much I love you? Do you know that I love every single little thing about you?" He kissed my lips and said, "I love your red, full lips. They look like rose petals, and I love the way they give me pleasure, and I love them even when they are pressed in a firm line, like now, because you're angry because I brought up that I was right. Don't be angry." He leaned forward and kissed my lips. "I even love them when words come out of them that inflict pain, because I know that pleasure is soon to follow. But I especially love them when they smile."

And right on cue, I had to smile.

"I love your neck, so long, soft and also for the obvious reason." He gave me a somewhat evil grin, showing fang, and then with a gentle pressure, he skimmed the points of his fangs down the long column of my neck. He bit me gently, sucking only for a moment, enough to make me whimper and sigh, and then gave it a long lick to seal the wound.

"I love your breasts, but of course," he said, "They are two of my favorite things in the whole world." He kissed one breast, and then he leaned over and stroked the other one with a long, even, lick of his tongue.

"I love your flat stomach and the way it trembles when you laugh," he said. He brought his hand to travel down my stomach. He dipped his tongue in my belly button, and then he tickled me with his hand again, to illustrate the way my stomach moved when I laughed.

He sat up on the bed and his fingertips gently traveling down one arm. "I love the way your arms wrap around my body and hold me tight when we embrace. I love your delicate hands, and the way they stroke me, making me full of desire." My arms came up to his neck, to hold him and he leaned down to kiss my mouth again.

He sat back up and said, "Your beautiful, attractive, legs are two things I can't get enough of, and which I love to stare at whenever I can." He moved his hand down my right thigh, to my knee, and over my calf. Then he brought his hand up the left leg, starting at the foot, to the calf, to the knee, to the thigh. He rested his hand on my bare hipbone. I felt a wave of desire hit me so strong, that I almost felt an orgasm coming on, and all he had done was touch me.

He kissed the inside of my thigh and I know that I moaned.

"Do you only love me for the way I look?" I challenged.

"Why else would I love you?" he asked in return, then he smiled, and rested his chin on my stomach, his body beside mine.

"That's the only reason I love you, too," I lied.

"Good, then we're even," he said. He climbed up my body, kissing every inch he could, and then his hand went between my legs, and he moved his hand gently over the top of me.

"Would I sound shallower than we both already know that I am if I said that this might be my favorite body part?" His hand stroked me gently, his fingers not yet entering me. I still quivered.

"Can you be shallower? Isn't that impossible?" I asked, though I was now out of breath, and I had to close my eyes. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from screaming.

He kept a steady rhythm and a steady pressure with his hand, and I know I was beginning to make small, strange noises. He finally leaned his face very close to mine and he whispered, "Do you want me to finish showing you how much I love you, beloved?"

"Yes, please," I whimpered, no longer having any composure whatsoever. There was not enough oxygen to fill my lungs.

My hips moved with his hand, he entered me with two fingers. I started to climax that fast, but when he removed his fingers, I cried out, to tell him to come back, but he replaced his hand with another part of his body. He shut his eyes, apparently concentrating on what we both loved the most.

He continued his rhythmic movement back and forth, and my legs contracted and I cried out once more, and suddenly he was on his back, and he propped me over his body, placing me on his throbbing erection, and we completed what he had started, but we completed it together.

When we were both down from our high, I put my hands on his chest, my legs on top of his and my head on his shoulder. I felt him kiss the top of my head. I wished he had a heartbeat for me to listen to, or breathing for me to concentrate on, but he had neither, so the only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat, my own breathing, and I sighed. It would have to be enough.

I think I fell asleep, because a little bit later, I was on my side, and he was on his side, and he was staring at me, still stroking my body, just here and there and everywhere. I forced my eyes opened and I said, "Thank you for showing me how much you love me, Eric. I appreciated it."

He laughed, a true laugh. "Anything for you, Sookie. It's always nice to be appreciated. Go to sleep, lover. I'll stay for a while longer, but soon I'll have to go." He pulled me to his side. "By the way, I still say that I was right earlier. Wouldn't you agree that I was right and you were wrong?"

Was he joking? After lovemaking like that, I didn't even remember why we were fighting, but I was never one to concede to anything, or back down from a fight, so I said, "No, I really think I was right."

Now, lying here in the bath, remember that night, and thinking about how stubborn, he was and how stubborn I was, and still unable to remember why we fought that night, I made a vow to myself. I sat up, wiped away tears that I didn't know I had cried, and I vowed to be stubborn once more. I wasn't going to give up on Eric quite so easily. I wasn't going to give Larkin what he wanted. I was going to get Eric back, come hell or high water, so help me God.


	20. 20 A Side of Fries with That

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 20: A Side of Fries with That**

I heard no news from Sam and Bill that night, nor the next day, nor the next night. By the time I went to bed the second night, my nerves were frayed. I stayed in bed that second morning for a very long time, again, thinking about Eric and me and the times we had shared. There were so many times that I had wished for a nice, normal, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and yet, whenever I thought of him over the last few days, everything I thought about were normal, if not somewhat mundane moments. It was enough to make me cry.

I remember one time after I had found out about Niall, Eric called me from Fangtasia and asked if he could come over. It was right after a ten hour shift, where I closed, and I moaned and groaned and told him that I was tired, and didn't feel like messing with him. I mean, how mean was that?

He laughed and admonished, "Maybe I don't feel like messing with you either, lover. Maybe I just wanted to talk. I mean, I'm assuming 'messing with me' is a euphemism for sex, right?"

"Oh, Eric, I just meant I worked late, I had to work a double shift. I just got home, I took a shower, I'm tired, someone didn't pay their bill tonight so I had to pay it out of my own pocket, one guy called me a bad name, right after another jerk pinched my butt, and I just want some peace and quiet, two things I never get around you."

"What's the name of the man who pinched your butt?" he inquired. His tone was neutral. I didn't know the guys name anyway, but if I thought Eric was going to go all 'Bill' on me and get jealous, I wouldn't have told him even if I did know.

"I don't know. Frankly, I'm pissed more about the guy who called me a bitch, and even more so about the party of five that ran out on their bill," I said.

"Well, you can be a bitch at times, Sookie," he confirmed. I could hear the smile on his voice.

"That's no way to endear yourself to me, Mr. Northman," I said sincerely. "Not likely to say come on over now, Mister."

"What if I pay the bill for the losers who, what did you call it? Skipped out on their bill?"

"You want to pay me to come see me, but it's not about sex?" I asked, incredulously.

"Sure, why not," he said with an easy air.

"Alright, come on over," I laughed.

He laughed as well. "I'm already here, my love. Open the door and let me in, or I'll huff and puff and suck all your blood out."

"Umm, I don't think that's how the fairytale goes," I grinned, walking toward the front door, my cell phone in my hand.

"What fairytale?"

I closed my phone and let him in.

He walked in, closed the door, and looked down at me. He smiled. I could get lost in his smile. He said, "How much money do I owe you for your time, Sookie?"

"Their bill was fifty-five dollars and forty-seven cents." I actually held out my hand.

"Do you take plastic?" he asked. He held my hand in his, and traced the lines on my hand with the opposite index finger. He said, "Do you want me to read your future?"

"I'll read yours, instead," I said snarkily. I cradled his large hand in both of mine, looked down at it, then traced the lines with one finger. "I see a long night by yourself if you don't have fifty-five dollars and forty-seven cents." I dropped his hand like a hot rock.

He reached in his pocket, pulled out his wallet and declared, "I only have a hundred dollar bill. I don't suppose you can make change?"

I had to smile. "No, consider it my tip." I took the hundred from him, pulled on his hand, and took him toward my room.

"Why, Sookie," he teased, somewhat surprised, "I thought I was paying for talking only. I didn't know I was getting special treatment after all."

"You aren't, so don't get excited. I only want to rest on the bed. Just rest, Eric!"

And the thing was, that was all we did that night. We rested on the bed, talked, giggled, and had a great time. We talked about religion, talked about Fangtasia, talked about my lack of fashion sense, we cuddled, we kissed a bit, and then about four in the morning, he gave me a chaste kiss goodnight. He slipped off the bed, and I purred, "Wait, come back for a second."

He leaned over me, and I reached over to my bedside table and handed him the hundred-dollar bill. "Here, I think I owe you after tonight, not the other way around. You were just what I needed."

He leaned down, kissed my forehead, then my lips, a quick, fleeting kiss, and said, "My dear, I knew that. Why do you think I called you? I felt that you needed me through our bond. I'll always be able to know when you need me." He touched my cheek, his finger moving down it slowly, and then he stood. He snapped the hundred, held it up to the light, and deadpanned, "Is this real? It looks counterfeit. If it's not real, I'm bound to call the law." Then he laughed, stuffed it in his pocket, and left.

Now I wondered if I would ever see him again.

On the third morning, I asked Jason to go home, because I could only deal with so much at once, and he was being more of a hindrance than a help. He wanted me to wait on him hand and foot …"Hey Sookie, could you get me a glass of tea?" "Hey Sook, I sure would love some of your sweet-potato pie." "Sis, what would I have to do for you to make me breakfast this morning?"

I mean, seriously, if this was his idea of protecting me (i.e.: free slave labor), then I would rather be in danger. Besides, Larkin said he would give me a week, and I still had four more days, so I was safe enough for now.

I spent that whole day cleaning my house, top to bottom. Cleaning was cathartic to me. It helped me to relax. It made me feel better about myself. I'm one of those people who can't relax in the evening if there are dirty dishes in the sink. After my house was clean, (even the ceiling fans and the baseboards) it was late, and I hoped and prayed that Sam and Bill would be returning soon. I decided to shower, but instead of getting ready for bed, I dressed in a casual dark teal sweater and a comfortable pair of jeans, with a hole in the knee, and which fit me like a glove. I decided to go sit in my grandmother's old rocker, and concentrate on Eric. I wanted to see if I could feel him through our bond.

I sat in the chair, with a pillow on my lap, I closed my eyes, and I thought again about the memory I had yesterday morning. Eric had come to me when he felt that I was sad. He said he felt me through our bond. I began to rock back and forth, the old chair creaking against the weathered floorboards in the living room. I remember Eric had said that when the Fairies took me, he had felt my fear, my pain, and my desperation. I knew that vampire senses were more acute than human senses, but still … our bond worked both ways. I should be able to sense him, feel him. I had felt him before.

However, as I sat there, and rocked, and hugged that pillow tight, I felt nothing. I felt less than empty. I felt devoid of all feeling. A wave of sadness came at me like a deluge. I had a hallowing, empty feeling. I felt bereavement, and a terrible sense of grief, and I prayed that the empty feeling I felt wasn't because something bad had happened to severe our ties. Please, not that.

I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly to me, and before I could evaluate what I felt, the phone in the foyer rang. I lifted myself from the chair, walked to the phone, lifted the handset from the cradle, and said a very small, but very succinct, "What?"

"Sookie?" The voice on the other end sounded familiar, yet not so familiar that I could instantly place it. Usually, when that happened, I felt too embarrassed to admit that I couldn't tell who the caller was, and I would talk for a while, until it came to me. Today, I wasn't so inclined.

"Who is this?" My mind was still swirling from the emptiness I felt. It took a moment after the caller said his name for me to register what he said. He said it again.

"Did you hear me? It's Quinn."

Could things possibly get any worse? "What do you want?" I asked with an edge to my voice. I have to admit, I didn't feel very nice right now.

"I'm calling about Eric."

"Eric?" I repeated. Now he had my attention. "What do you know about Eric?"

"I know that he was brought to Nevada to face judgment against de Castro, the charges being treason and sedition. I know that his trial was last night."

I began to shake all over. I collapsed to the floor, both hands now holding the phone receiver. "You're working for the king still?"

"Yes. I've been ordered to bring you in the moment they found him guilty."

"You mean _if_ they found him guilty," I corrected, though I knew exactly what he meant.

He knew I knew, so he didn't make a comment about that statement. "He was found guilty. He was sentence to enclosure in a silver-lined coffin, for ten to twenty-five years. I placed him there myself, this morning."

I was on the edge of falling apart, I really didn't know what I could do, being so far away. "What do you want?" I cried out, disconsolately.

"I told you, I've been ordered to bring you to the king," he repeated.

My sadness turned to instant panic. I was here all alone, by myself, and I didn't know where Quinn was, but he was ordered to get me for the king. "Are you going to do it? Take me to the king?" It seemed like a smart thing to ask. I had so many things swirling around my head at the moment that it was a good thing I was already on the floor, or I probably would have fallen down by now.

"Maybe, maybe not," he answered flippantly. How could he be so blasé? This was my life! He acted as if I was asking him his favorite color, or if he wanted a side of fries with his hamburger, instead of asking if he was going to take me to my imminent demise.

"Let me guess," I seethed, anger swelling up in my chest, "it depends on whether I do what you say, right? You want something from me, right? Everyone wants something from me! Larkin, you, everyone!"

"Larkin? What has he to do with this? Do not go near that creature!" he barked.

"Like you can tell me what to do!" I ordered right back. "He said that if I go with him, at least he'll help Eric go free. Can you claim to do the same? If I go with you, will you promise to help Eric?"

"For all I care, Eric Northman can rot in the coffin for all the rest of his unnatural long life," he spat.

"Fuck you, Quinn!" I hated when people used that word, but sometimes no other word was appropriate. "Did you ever think that what Eric was trying to do was a good thing? He didn't want some outsider from another state to tell him, or his, what to do any longer! He just wanted his freedom back. Can't you, of all people, relate to that? Didn't you fight and crawl and dig your way out of the pits to gain your freedom, and the freedom of your family, only to give it all up again to serve that bastard de Castro? You know, Eric would give you your freedom again, and you wouldn't have to worry about it being snatched away. You aligned yourself with the wrong vampires, Quinn, and I swear, if you so much as touch one strand of Eric's beautiful hair I'll personally come and kick some tiger ass!"

There was silence on the other end. It lasted so long that I was sure he had hung up the phone, except that I could hear him breathing. I stood back up, and twirled the phone cord around my finger. I waited.

"Sookie, have you calmed down enough for us to talk now?" he asked, and I have to admit, he didn't sound at all condescending.

"Yes," I muttered, though if he could see my face, he would see me pouting.

"Don't trust Larkin. He has no power to set Eric free, and if he's already made it clear that he wants you, then he most certainly would not want to ever see him free. Don't be swayed by him. He'll be dealt with, soon enough. He was instrumental in Eric's arrest and downfall. You're a smart woman, so think about that."

I felt like such a fool, because Quinn was right.

He continued. "On the other hand, I do have the power and the desire to help you, without any personal gain."

The implication of his words hit me broadside. The empty, hollow feeling I was experiencing moments ago was filling up slightly with something that resembled hope. "Do you mean you would help me avoid being taken to the king, or you would help me get Eric back, because if I could only have one, and not the other, I'll pick Eric. You get him out, and I'll gladly, of my own freewill, go to the king."

"There's no reason for you to be the martyr, Sookie. Just answer your door."

That statement confused me. "Aren't you calling from Nevada?"

"Yes, open your door," he urged again.

My phone was the old type, a receiver attached to a phone with a cord, attached to the wall. It wouldn't reach as far as the door. I could place the phone receiver down and go look out the door, but instead I asked, "Why should I trust you? Who's outside my door? I'm all by myself, and I don't mind telling you, I'm more than a little bit afraid right now, Quinn."

"Answer the door!" he all but growled.

"You know what? Go to hell!" I stammered back. I leaned toward the door, to see if I could see out it. It was almost dark, so it could be a vampire, a Were, a shifter, or anyone. I wasn't taking any chances. "Why should I trust you? You said yourself that you hated Eric! Why would you help me?"

"Because I don't hate _you_, Sookie, and because you don't hate Eric," he replied. Now he sounded defeated. "Please, trust me. Open your door. The answer to our problem is outside the door."

"JUST TELL ME WHO IT IS!" I shouted, loud enough to wake even the dead.

I heard him curse. Then, I heard voices, more than one. Another person came on the phone, this one so familiar that I didn't have to question who it was. "Cher, open the door, and don't be afraid. The person at the door has agreed to help us. He didn't want to but he will, but you have to trust us."

"Sam?"

"I know, Sookie, I know." That was all he said. It was enough. I placed the phone on the table, because I didn't know if I was supposed to hang up or not. I rushed over to the door, flung it open and gasped.

Pam stood to the left, Bill to the right, and between them was a mirror image of Larkin, except this man, creature, god, had dark hair and eyes. He smiled, but unlike Larkin's smile, which at times seemed menacing and evil, this man's smile seemed resigned, sad, and resolute.

He held out his hand. I placed my hand in his, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He said, "Hello, Sookie. My name is Iain Donegal. I'm your cousin, Larkin's half brother, and his worst nightmare, and I've been convinced to help you. May I come in?"

I still had his hand, and I saw that each of his wrists had iron manacles on them, and they were attached to an iron chain that went around his waist. Bill had one piece of the chain around his hand, and Pam had the other piece around hers. He was being forced to help us, and that didn't sit well in my craw.** "**Let him out of the chains, so that he and I can talk, okay?" I looked at Pam first, and she merely looked at me amused, smiled and shook her head no. I looked at Bill and he smiled a smile that almost said, 'sorry sweetheart', to me.

Iain smiled softly. "That's fine, Sookie. I don't hold you responsible for the actions of these vampires, and I hope you don't hold me responsible for the actions of Larkin, and I am sincere when I say that I want to help you."

"Well, alright then." I opened the door all the way and let them all in.


	21. 21 Whistle a Happy Tune

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 21: Whistle a Happy Tune**

I used to like flying in an airplane. The very first time I flew was on vampire business, and here I was on vampire business once again, flying once again, and this time, I didn't like it at all. I looked out the little plane window, at the white puffy clouds, and I tried to remember that first time. That was a simple time. I was still in love with Bill; he was still an honest, forthright person, all of the vampire politics and the supernatural shit hadn't yet jade me … oh, and I wasn't in love with Eric.

In other words, those were simpler, but not necessarily happier, times. I looked over at the man sitting in the seat next to me. He smiled at me. I didn't bother to smile back. I turned back toward the window instead.

Three days ago, a part man/part fairy named Iain Donegal came to my door, told me an outlandish story of blackmail, kidnapping, murder, torture and hate, and when he was done, I felt completely numb. I no longer knew what to think or feel. I didn't know what was real. I'm not even completely sure what I was doing on this plane. I felt as if I was in one of those little hamster wheels, spinning around and around, and I was never going to stop spinning. There was no end in sight, only more spinning.

Quinn leaned over the aisle, reached his arm across the man beside me, touched my sleeve, and said, "We'll be there soon, Sookie. Keep your chin up."

Yeah, right.

I nodded to him and then turned again to the window. Then I began to cry, and I didn't know why. Maybe I was crying because I would soon see Eric. Maybe I was crying because I might not get to see him. I no longer knew. Iain Donegal was brought to my door three days ago by Bill and Pam, and he told me that he was 'employed' (lack of a better word) by Eric, and had been for over twenty years. He said that his half brother Larkin had forced him to be turned into a part vampire against his will, and then he 'sold him' to the highest bidder, which just happened to be Eric.

What did that say about Eric?

And why in the world would Iain then agree to help us? Iain said that he was helping us because he hated Larkin. He said that Larkin lied to me when he said that Hadley turned him, and was the first to discover the influence of fairy blood, vampires and daylight. He said that it was something that my own grandfather discovered over fifty years ago. He said that Larkin found out, and then forced a vampire to change Iain, to see if it were true. I couldn't believe he would do that to his own brother.

I mean, I don't really like my brother that much, but that's just sick, you know? Then apparently, when he had himself turned, he no longer needed his brother, so he literally sold Iain to the Queen of Louisiana and her group. The Queen and her closest confidants, Eric included, used this poor thing for years. He said when the Queen died, along with most of her entourage, Eric gave him his freedom, but of course, it came with a hefty price tag.

Eric told Iain he would never tell the new king about Iain's unique blood, if he agreed to continue to serve Eric whenever Eric needed him, and if he agreed to help protect me against Larkin. He apparently agreed. He told me he would have agreed to anything to gain his freedom. I asked him what Eric had on Larkin, that kept him in line for a while, and he told me he sincerely didn't know.

He also said that Larkin hated Eric and he wasn't sure why. He said if anyone should hate Eric, it should be him, not Larkin. I tended to agree with that statement.

I looked over at him, as he sat next to me on the plane, and he smiled at me again. He wasn't really doing this of his own free will, he was forced to do it by Bill and Pam. He was still in shackles here in the plane, yet he continued to smile at me. He continued to try to set my mind at ease. He told me if necessary, he would give himself over to the king in exchange for Eric, and he would do that merely because of me. He didn't even know me, but he said that we were family, and he loved me, and he would do whatever it took to protect me. He said he owed the Prince fealty, and since Niall loved me, he did, too.

Fairies were odd.

The plan was that I would go with Quinn under the guise that he was bringing me to Felipe as ordered, but it was merely to buy us time. Quinn would present Iain to the king as well, and tell him that he no longer needed Larkin, because Iain could serve the same purpose for the king, and he could do it for nothing, which translated to the fact that he wouldn't charge some outrageous fee, as Larkin did.

When Quinn told me on the phone that Larkin was responsible for Eric's downfall, he wasn't kidding. Larkin went directly to the king, told him that Eric was meeting with the leaders of other states, and that they were planning a coup d'état. Now of course, all of that was true, as far as I could tell, but the king didn't have to know that.

In the back of the plane, riding comfortably and unaware in coffins, were Bill, Pam, and the Kings of Ohio and New York. They were coming to give testimony that Larkin was lying to the king. They were going to tell Felipe that they were merely in Louisiana for pleasure, not business, and that their meeting with Eric was innocent. In the meantime, Bill told me that some big national vampire tribune was being formed to see if the King of Nevada even had the right to stake a claim in Louisiana in the first place. If this tribunal ruled that Nevada was hostile when they took Louisiana over, and in the wrong, then Eric would automatically be set free, because the King of Nevada would be overthrown and punished by this national tribunal.

If that didn't happen, then maybe Felipe would believe the kings of two such prominent states such as Ohio and New York, even if they were lying, and then maybe Eric would go free.

Option 3 was that Felipe would take poor Iain in Eric's place, but I didn't see that happening, and if anyone really thought that would happen, then they were fools. I would have a better chance of setting Eric free if I gave MYSELF to Felipe, which I secretly had every intention of doing if all else failed.

No one needed to know that.

My biggest worry was that I hadn't felt Eric since he was sentenced. Bill explained that if the coffin was silver lined, then that might block the bond. I didn't believe it for a second. I had a terrible, sinking feeling that either Eric was already gone, or somehow, our bond was severed.

I shuddered to think of either of those possibilities.

I started to cry harder. I was embarrassed. There were several other humans in the compartment of the private plane with us, people who were in service to the other kings, and they gave me funny looks as I sat in my seat and cried like a baby. I hated them to see me cry. I hated to appear weak.

Iain reached over and held my hand. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was Eric's hand on mine. For a brief second, I had myself convinced, but just for a second.

"You love him, don't you?" Iain asked softly.

I nodded. I turned to regard him and said self-consciously, "I know that's probably hard for you to understand, since I'm sure you don't think kindly on him, seeing that he's forced you into a life of servitude, but I do. I love him."

"Northman has not been so bad to me. The Queen was never that bad to me. Don't feel sorry for me, cousin. The only person who ever treated me badly, or betrayed me, was Larkin, and he will soon pay, I hope." He let go of my hand, but turned slightly in his seat. "Tell me why you love Eric Northman."

"I can't," I stammered.

"Ah, too many reasons to count?" he smiled kindly.

"No," I fretted, with a slight hiccup and a laugh between tears. "I'm not entirely sure why I love him."

He smiled at that and turned back around in his seat. "Close your eyes, cousin, and get some sleep. You'll see your beloved soon enough."

My beloved. Eric often called me beloved. I recall the first time he called me that. We were still in what I classify as the 'hate' stage of our relationship. I had already broken up with Bill, but had not yet slept with Eric. I was at work, at the bar, and he had stopped in one night, which was odd. I felt his presence before I saw him, which was odder. Now that I think about that, I realized how peculiar that was. I mean, we hadn't yet shared blood, and my mind can't read vampires, yet I distinctly recall that I 'felt' him that night, before I saw him.

The bar was slammed that night, I had a rowdy group I was waiting on at one of the larger tables, and I was just about to take them a tray full of beers when I saw him enter the front door. He smiled at me, one side of his mouth higher than the other side, he winked at me, and I remember that I almost growled, which made him laugh. I went over to the table, served the beers I was carrying, when one man at the table placed his hand on my butt. I grabbed his wrist, dropped his hand on his lap, and then I walked up to the door, where Eric still stood. He was glaring at that man, and he didn't seem happy. Well, gee, I wasn't that happy, either. I don't like being groped in public.

"What are you doing here, Eric?"

His frown turned to a grin and he said, "I came to see how a little bar like this works," He leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, and he said, "It's very quaint in here, isn't it? The smell of urine isn't nearly as strong as I thought it would be, and the people aren't quite as inbred as I thought, except perhaps for that cretin who dared to touch you in such a familiar way. Shall I break his hand for you, Sookie?"

"I can take care of myself, Eric. What do you want?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

Before he could answer, the same man at the table where I had just served the beers yelled out, "Hey, Barbie doll, get your tight little ass back over here and get me some more pretzels."

I sighed, and said to Eric, "Hold that thought." I started to walk away from him, but he reached out and held my upper arm. I recall that a funny feeling went through me when he touched my arm—a funny, wavering, electrical feeling. It started in my chest, settled in my stomach, and then flew down to my toes, and all he had done was to touch my arm!

"Let me take care of him, beloved. It would be my pleasure," he insisted. He dropped my arm with ease, smirked, and then he went over to the bar, picked up a bowl of pretzels, plopped the bowl of pretzels on the table in front of the asshole, then he smiled, with his full fangs showing. Then he said, without a hint of a lisp, and still with fang, "Now, was there anything else you needed?"

The man shook his head, and cowered in his seat. Eric stood up, his full six foot five, and challenged, "Oh, and never, ever, degrade a woman by talking about her body like that. It's unbecoming. Moreover, if you dare ever to touch her beautiful, pristine body with your dirty, grimy hands again, I will cut your hands off at the wrist, I will stuff them up your ass, and you will have to unzip your pants to wave goodbye to your friends as I suck the very life out of you. Now, have a nice night."

He turned back to me. "Do you get breaks in this hellhole, or are you forced to work all night long like a slave?" Suddenly, he seemed angry.

I was speechless. I took his hand in mine, and I recall this like it was yesterday, because even though he vexed me to no end back then (and who are we kidding, he still does), but I recall feeling something akin to butterflies when I touched his hand that night. I remember specifically feeling happy that he took up for me, in his own weird way. I specifically remember that being the first time he called me beloved. He didn't even really call ME beloved, he referred to me as beloved, but still, I recall it as if it were yesterday.

I dragged him out the back door of the bar, it was such a cold night, but I didn't get my coat, and as soon as we were outside, I was freezing. I placed my arms tightly around my body and looked up at him. I felt confused. Why was he here? Why did I care that he was here? Why was I sort of 'glad' that he was here? I said, "Was there a real reason why you came tonight, Eric? You know I'm not with Bill anymore, right. You have no business with me anymore. I'm not getting involved in vampire stuff ever again. Just tell me what you want. Get it over with!"

He smiled at me again, one side of his mouth higher than the other, just as before, his anger from a minute ago abated, and he leaned closer, stroked my cheek slowly with his index finger. I shivered some more, and not because it was cold. Then, the same finger went to my hair, and it slowly moved my hair away from my ear. I bit my bottom lip in anticipation. He whispered in my ear, "I got what I wanted, Sookie. I got what I came for, and so did you." I shivered one last time as he leaned away, winked again, placed his hands on my shoulders, rubbed them up and down several times, and ended with, "Warm now?" and then he walked away slowly, whistling, for goodness sakes! Whistling! He whistled a happy little tune until he was completely out of sight.

Now that I think about it, and really remember it clearly in my mind, I think he came that night because I needed him to, and merely to call me beloved. I know that sounds stupid, and implausible, but I want to remember it that way. I might only have memories from this point on, so I will take them anyway that I can get them, and interpret them anyway that I please.

I looked back over at Iain. His eyes were closed. I looked over at Quinn. He was looking right at me. He said, "Best to put on your seatbelt, Sookie. We'll be landing soon."

Instead of doing as he said, I turned back to the window, and took up my tears again. Then I felt Iain reach over and fasten my seatbelt. He patted my hand and said, "Very soon, you'll see him again, Sookie. You'll see your beloved."

I looked at him. He was being so kind, and genuine, and unlike Larkin, I really felt I could trust him, so I smiled at him. "Yes, very soon, I'll see my beloved." I only wished I believed it.


	22. 22 Whoopee

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 22: Whoopee**

Everything was mass confusion when we first landed. When we arrived at the airport, we were led to a private hanger where Quinn said members of the king's entourage were waiting for us, but when we got there, we found there were also members of Ohio's and New York's daytime people there. Then, we found out that the National Vampire Assembly members were arriving right after us, UNEXPECTED, mind you, and when de Castro's people heard about the bigwigs landing, we were told we had to wait for them to be checked in and taken care of first. We had to take a backseat. I wasn't too happy about that.

I was tired, and all I wanted to do was to get to our hotel, and to find Eric. I stood in the terminal, by all of our vampire's caskets, hopped up on a big trunk, to take a load off, and I leaned over to Iain and said, "Who are the important vampires being loaded up to go to the hotel before our vamps?"

"I would say they are a surprise," he answered cryptically.

Quinn walked up behind us and agreed, "That's an understatement. I just talked to the king's people, and they had no clue that the members of the National Vampire Assembly would be arriving today. It's a surprise visit."

"Who are the National Vampire Assembly, and why are they so important?" I asked.

Iain replied, "The NVA is a new organization, made up of delegates from some of the kings and queens, and they have been appointed by the US government to make up laws, if you will, for all vampires, and their territories. Mind you, the US government has no clue how much power the vampire kings and queens really hold, but they know they represent each state, and they put a public face on the undead, as it is."

"Um, okay," I inhaled, still feeling left out of the loop. "Why are they here?"

Iain smiled. "The Kings of Ohio and New York are delegates, as well as being witnesses in Eric's supposed crime of treason. Another delegate, the Queen of Pennsylvania, who is married to Ohio, was also a witness, I understand."

Now I knew what that meeting at Fangtasia was really about, the night I went there and found Ohio, New York, Pennsylvania, and all their little people there. "Wait," I said abruptly, jumping down from the trunk I was sitting. I turned to face Quinn. "I thought Eric already had his trial. I thought he was already sentenced and everything."

"I thought so, too," Quinn shrugged, just as confused as me. "I wouldn't have been sent to collect you if he hadn't been. When I left, he was still being held in a cell, but he was to begin his sentencing."

And I assumed he had already been sentenced, when I could no longer 'feel' him, for lack of a better word.

A good looking man who was one of New York's daytime people walked up to us and offered, "When the NVA found out about the trial, they declared it unlawful, and that Eric didn't have proper representation, so he's being granted another trial. They're also going to have a hearing to declare if Victor's take over of Louisiana and Arkansas was unlawful in the beginning, although that's a little fact he's probably not privy to yet. He'll be very surprised in an hour or so when he wakes up, I'd say."

"You mean he might be found guilty of, what, a hostile takeover?" I asked, encouraged.

The man nodded. "Yes. It's the reason Eric Northman contacted the NVA in the beginning, to file a petition for such a reason. Of course, then that creature, the half-vampire, half-fairy/man Larkin went to the king and claimed that Eric's meeting with Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York was a precursor to him wanting to secede from the king's rule."

"I thought that, too," I remarked. Now I felt slightly bad, although the real reason still wasn't too far off the mark.

Iain leaned toward me and murmured, "Don't feel guilty, Sookie. Eric wasn't thinking about the goodwill of his state and his subjects. He was still primarily thinking of himself, and in the end, he still had subversion in mind. He just went about it differently."

I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. Maybe Eric would finally go free. Maybe Iain wouldn't have to turn himself over to the king, and maybe I wouldn't have to barter for my freedom either. Could it really be that easy? Probably not.

We finally made our way to our hotel. It was a vampire hotel, owned by de Castro, and apparently, he lived on the top floor. I was shown to a small room on the sixth floor, but it was clean, it had a bed and a shower, and I was by myself for a moment … in other words, it was pure bliss.

I was unpacking my clothes when a wave of pain, mixed with anger, hit me. It wasn't my own, of that I was certain. I fell to the floor, held my head, and began to wail. I actually screamed. I don't know what the people in the next room thought was happening. They either thought someone was being killed in my room, or having incredible sex, because I screamed loud and long. I heard someone knocking on my door, banging really, and calling my name, but I couldn't get up from the floor, let alone answer the door.

When Bill finally had security let him in my room, I was huddled in a ball, on the floor, crying, and I still had a nightgown in my hand, from where I was unpacking my suitcase.

"Sweetheart?" Bill asked, in a rush. He picked me up from the floor and placed me on the bed. The security man, also a vampire, asked Bill if he needed help. Bill told the man to leave.

Bill went to the bathroom, got me a glass of water, and then helped me to take a drink. "What happened, Sookie? I was in the next room, and I had just woken up when I heard you scream."

"I really don't know," I answered, because I really didn't. One moment, I was feeling better than I had in days, feeling hopeful and dare I think, happy, that I might be able to see Eric, and then the worst feeling I had ever felt in my life crashed down on me, and I crumbled. I was shaking all over. I wasn't even aware of it, until Bill mentioned it.

"You're shaking all over. Something must have happened." He started to rock me in his arms. At times, I missed moments like this with Bill. There was a time when he was gentle and kind to me, of course, a part of me would always question his motives from that time.

I pushed away from him, maintaining, "I'm fine now."

"Do you feel up to coming downstairs? Felipe has invited all of the delegates, as well as us, to a small reception," Bill said.

"Why?" I argued, incredulous. "This isn't a party, Bill. We aren't here to celebrate, or to put on airs. We're here to get Eric and then hightail it out of town! No, I'm not up to a stupid reception."

"I don't think you have an option, Sweetheart," Bill prodded. "I could tell them that you'll unwell. Would you like that?"

"Yes, tell them she's indisposed," a man said from the doorway.

My heart stopped for a moment. I sat up, looked around Bill's shoulder, and saw Eric in my doorway. I was about to jump from the bed and rush into his arms, in what would be a perfect 'Hallmark' moment, a scene right out of a 'Lifetime' movie, except that I felt a roll of anger wash over me, and again, it wasn't my anger, and it wasn't Bill's, so that only left Eric.

He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed, he looked terribly pale, waned, and he had dark circles under his eyes. Besides that, he looked as handsome as ever. He had on dark jeans and a dark t-shirt, but not a smile. No, Mr. Northman was definitely not happy to see me, and I had no idea why.

Bill stood from the bed first, he looked at Eric with caution, and then he looked back at me. I guess I was still shaking. He placed a hand on my shoulder. He looked back at Eric and inquired, "How did you get released?"

"I'm a guest here, not a prisoner, didn't you know? Well, that's the official story that de Castro is telling the delegation at this little, last minute meet and greet, and it's what they told me about a half an hour ago when they took me out of my silver lined prison cell, told me to take a shower and to feed."

"Are you free, then?" I asked.

"Why are you here?" he asked me, instead of answering my question.

"I came to get you out," I dryly swallowed, though right now it seemed like a moot point.

He raised his hands in the air and jeered, "Hallelujah, I'm saved, Sookie Stackhouse came to free me, and look, I'm free."

"Don't pick on her," Bill shot back. "You have no idea what she's been through since you've been gone."

"You have no idea what I've been through, Compton, and I did it all to keep her safe and sound," he turned to me, "AND IN LOUISIANA!"

"Listen here, Eric," I said, finally finding my own anger. I stood from the bed and scrambled over toward him. "Quinn was ordered to bring me in, and Larkin had given me an ultimatum that was up anyway, so I had no choice in the matter; besides, I thought I might find a way to get you out of here!"

"HOW?" he asked. He leaned back against the wall again, arms crossed, with a lazy swagger attitude in which he had a thousand years to execute.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "Bill and Pam brought along your little secret daytime blood bank, Iain, to barter for you, and if that didn't work, I was going to give myself to the king in exchange for your freedom."

He laughed. At me. That really raised my hackles. I rushed up to him and pushed him as hard as I could, and he didn't even move a muscle. He grabbed my wrist, and I felt his anger tenfold. "All that would have happened was that the king would have had all three of us in his grasp then. Do you never trust me? I knew the NVA was coming here. I knew I wouldn't be here long!"

"Well you could share things once in a while, Eric!" I protested. "When I couldn't feel you any longer, I thought they killed you, or something, and then I was told you were sentenced to ten years in a silver-lined coffin, and I about went crazy. So sorry I cared, Mr. Northman!"

"Leave us, Compton," Eric demanded, his piercing blue eyes never leaving mine, even as he barked out his order to Bill.

"Sookie, will you be alright?" He walked behind me and looked at Eric and said cautiously, "She collapsed but moments ago."

"Yes, well, something always seems to happen to her. She wouldn't be Sookie if drama didn't follow her. She seems fine now," he snapped back to Bill.

"You heartless bastard. You don't deserve someone like her," Bill seethed.

Eric let go of my wrist and parried easily, "And there's the rub. I may not deserve her, but she's mine all the same. Leave, Bill, if you know what's good for you. Make arrangements for you, Pam and Iain to fly back to Louisiana as soon as you can."

Bill merely glared at Eric for another minute or two and then he started to walk out of the room. Eric stopped him by saying, "And be sure to book passage for Sookie. She certainly won't be staying either." Bill gave a rueful nod and slammed the door shut.

I felt anger swell up inside of me and suddenly it burst, and I pulled back my hand and I punched him in the face as hard as I could.

I didn't expect it to hurt as bad as it did. I was sure I broke a finger or two, and maybe the whole hand. It was busted open and bled freely. Eric closed his eyes as the smell of my blood filled the room. I cradled my injured hand in the other hand, sat on the bed, and cursed a blue blaze, but I would not cry. I had shed enough tears for Eric.

Eric sat down beside me. "That was rather stupid, wasn't it?"

I looked up at him with a look that told him if he valued the life that had just been given back to him, he had better not say another word.

"This isn't exactly the happy reunion I thought we would have," I said at last.

"Did you imagine we would run to each other's arms, kiss, and all would be well?" he asked. His right hand was rubbing my back. It felt like heaven just to have him sit next to me again, to smell his scent, to feel his presence, but to have him touch me was almost akin to pain.

"I thought I would go to the king, demand your release, be the hero, and rescue you, if you must know," I said self consciously, still holding my throbbing hand. "Then we would have kissed, and whatever." I looked up at his face and said bitterly, "Didn't it hurt, even a little?"

"I felt terrible pain being away from you," he said, earnestly.

While that broke my heart, that wasn't what I wanted to hear. He knew it too, because he gave me a lopsided smile. "No, it didn't hurt at all. Next time, grab a shovel or a chair or something. That might at least make me notice."

He took my hand in both of his gently, and he examined it, one finger at a time. "Nothing's broken, lover. Bill said you had some sort of an attack before I arrived to your room. Why was that, do you know?"

"No, I don't," I grumbled. "Maybe it was when they released you. Tell me, did they tell you immediately that I was here?"

"Yes, one of the Were guards came to my cell, threw these clothes at me, threw a female human in the room, told me to feed, then to shower and change, because I was being set free while the members of the NVA reexamined the charges against me. Then he said that members of my state were here: Pam, Bill, some half human/fae creature, and a beautiful blonde woman with big tits. I only assumed it was you." I looked up in his face, and he was no longer smiling.

"What was your reaction to that statement?"

"Anger, happiness, confusion, and then more anger," he repeated. "I really don't want you here, Sookie."

"Too bad," I replied.

Before I knew it, he bit into his wrist and put it by my mouth. I understood. It was for my hand, but I wasn't sure I could do that with him, not right now, not if he was still angry with me, and not if we didn't have time to, ah, make love as well. As if reading my thoughts he said, "Go on, just to heal your hand. We'll have time to talk and do other things, tonight."

I took his wrist in my good hand, and placed his wound under my mouth. I took a big suck, and then feelings I had been trying to avoid since he left washed upon me and with each suck of blood I took, another wave crashed on me, and soon I was crying. I let his arm drop to my lap, and covered my face with my hands.

"I guess you missed me." He stood up.

"What an utterly stupid comment," I winced. "I did realize something important while you were gone."

"What, that sex with me is something you simply can't live without?" he asked, with a smirk.

"NO," I almost shouted, but then I said, "Well, yes, but what I really realized was that I love you despite the bond. I think that surprised me a bit."

"Color me surprised as well," he said, and that statement coming from him made me laugh. We both laughed for a moment, the awkwardness and the anger gone. He turned all serious again, though, when took my chin in his hand and said, "Sookie, don't let anyone here know you have a bond with me, in which you can feel me and my emotions. You must obey me on this one. I know how hard it is for you to ever do anything anyone asks of you, but this one I must insist."

I nodded. "I understand that one, Eric. I do." He pulled me up toward him and cupped my face in both hands. His mouth lingered above mine for moments … moments that seemed suspended in time. He smiled before he let his lips press down on mine. My arms went around his waist, and his arms went around my arms, encompassing my entire body. He moved his mouth slowly, almost painful slow, over mine. He tilted his head to the left, and then he lifted his face enough to look me in the eye.

"I have to go down to the reception. It will be a very stressful, tense filled situation, Beloved," he said, his mouth moving along my face, my cheek, as he spoke. He sucked on the pulse point of my neck, his right hand pressing on my bottom, his left hand winding in my hair. "I wish you did not have to come, but I'm afraid de Castro insists."

"I want to come," I countered, pushing away from him slightly. "But does that mean that we'll have some time together tonight?"

He laughed a low rumbling sound deep in his chest. "By all means. They are bringing my meager belongings up to the room. I hope you don't mind sharing with me?"

"To that, I have one word to say," I answered, with a smile. "Whoopee!"

"Your vast use of the English language boggles my mind, Lover," he said. "Shall we go?" He opened the door to my room, grasped my hand, the one that only fifteen minutes ago was bleeding and bruised, and he raised it to his mouth, placing a kiss upon it. "Look, all healed. I'm good for something."

I held his arm with my other hand, too, and said with a knowing smile, "Yes, you're good for something, Eric. You're definitely good for something." I felt happiness, instead of anger, and just like before, I knew it wasn't my own. It was coming from him. It seems I was good for something, too.


	23. 23 A Monster Named Sookie

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 23: A Monster named Sookie**

Eric and I walked down the long hallway of the hotel, heading toward the elevator, when we both turned around at the same time. We both turned around at the same time because a door opened behind us and a man snorted, "Isn't this quaint, the lovers reunited after all."

We turned around, and Eric's hand, which was holding mine, slipped away, but only so he might position me behind his body. "Sookie and Eric. What a pleasure to see you both together again."

"Larkin Talkington," Eric said stiffly. "What an utterly displeasure to see you alive."

He laughed. "Really? Now Eric, my dear cousin here will be under the impression that you don't like me very much, if you keep up that hostility. Perhaps we should let bygones be bygones."

Eric smiled, a menacing smile, if I do say so myself, and squared his shoulders, "Perhaps we should finally fight it out, man to man, or should I say, vampire to whatever the hell you happen to be."

Quinn walked down the very same hallway at that same moment and he could see that there was tension … hell, a blind man would be able to see the tension between all of us. "Northman, I think you're facing enough trouble. Don't cause any trouble here at this hotel. I'm watching you. Remember that. There's nothing that goes on here at this hotel that I'm not aware of, so I suggest you take Sookie downstairs to the reception, now."

Eric turned his cool demeanor toward Quinn, "And I suggest you tuck your tail between your furry little legs and run away, Tiger. You have no say over me or mine."

The fact that I was the 'mine' part of that sentence irked Quinn more than the comment about the tail and the furry little legs, I could tell, but he clenched his jaw and gritted, "Don't forget, I'm in charge of security for the king, so no fighting of any kind, or your ass goes back in the cell, vampire." He gave me a pointed look, and then turned to Larkin and insisted harshly, "And you're to stay in your room, fairy. The king doesn't want you to interfere tonight."

Larkin smiled, that smile that literally lit up his whole face, making him look so handsome that it hurt, and which scared me to no end, and then he actually bowed toward me, said silkily, "I'll see you soon, _my_ sweet, dear cousin." He backed into his room and closed the door. At the mention of the word 'my' I openly flinched, though I didn't mean to do so. Eric, however, remained stoic and calm, at least on the outside. I could feel his hate on the inside, and it was massive, black and consuming.

I looked up at Eric, and he looked down at me at the same time. We both turned around and he pushed the button of the elevator, and his jaw flinched slightly. Quinn took that moment to walk away.

"Quinn is over security now?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, abruptly.

The doors opened and we walked into the elevator, and since we were all alone, I asked, "Do you think Quinn is faithful to the king?"

"I would not know, nor do I care," Eric said evenly. He leaned against the back of the elevator, and pulled me to his side. He took my hand, brought it up to his mouth, and kissed the top.

"The only reason I ask is because he seemed to want to help us. He flew here with us, by us I mean Bill, Pam, Iain and me, and he seemed to want to help me avoid Larkin."

"I'm sure he did want to help _you_," he said, stressing the last word of the sentence, "but I for one will never trust the tiger. I would suggest that you not trust him, either, lover." He tried to smile at me, but I could see it was forced and contrived. "How dare he try to threaten me? I could care less that he's watching. Let him watch. It might be interesting."

I didn't know what he meant by that comment, so I let it pass. "Did you know that when Quinn called me the other night, right before we made arrangements to come here, he told me that you had already had your trial, the night before, and that you were sentenced to enclosure in a silver-lined coffin, for twenty-five years. He also told me that he had placed you there, himself, that very morning. That was the morning that I stopped feeling you. Is that the truth? You just told me in my room that you hadn't been sentenced yet, but why would Quinn lie about something like that?"

Eric tensed up. He stood upright, let go of my hand, and suddenly found the changing number light, denoting the different floors on the elevator, extremely fascinating.

"Eric?"

"How long does it take for an elevator to get from the sixth floor to the first?" he asked. He touched the number one button again, quite unnecessarily.

I leaned forward and pressed the 'Stop' button. Just like on TV, the whole thing came to a sudden halt, and it bounced up and down. He looked at me and said, "Well, now you have my attention, beloved."

"Eric?"

"What?" he asked. He suddenly seemed bored.

"Don't lie to me, please, not again. I can't stand the lies, even if you think you're doing it for my own good, or to protect me, I can't stand it any longer! Please! Were you in a silver-lined coffin BEFORE you were placed in the cell tonight, and before you were told to feed, dress, and all? I have to know."

"Why do you have to know?" he asked back. "Why does it matter?"

"Are you joking? Why does it matter? Eric, is that why I stopped feeling you? Were you already sentenced to that fate, worse than death?" I grabbed his arm and pulled on it. "I'm not some weak, southern belle, who might wilt at the slightest sign of unpleasantness. I've proven that repeatedly. I'm strong."

"Right, you're so strong that you were coming here to rescue me, and if you had arrived, and found that I had indeed been sentenced already," he started, "and was already beginning said sentence, what as a strong, southern woman would you have been able to do? Sookie, I want to keep unpleasant things from you. I want to be the one that protects you, not the other way around. Why can't you understand that?"

He reached over and started the elevator. I felt his anger again, and I knew it was toward me. He said, "What is twenty-five years to a long life such as mine? I would have endured more, to protect you, but the fact is I would not have had to, because I had a plan. You should have known that I had a plan. I shouldn't have to spell everything out to you. You are so imperceptive, sometimes."

"And you're so damn arrogant, sometimes," I answered. "Twenty five years is a lifetime to me, and I would have suffered unnecessarily, thinking that you were buried in that coffin, in pain, away from me! I hate it when you lie to me. I hate it when you keep things from me. You know that, yet you continue to do it, and I'm not putting up with it a second longer. You had better stop it, or I swear you'll lose me! Screw you and your plans."

I turned slightly away from him, but continued to rant and rave. "When I had that attack, I take it that you were being pulled from your coffin, right? That wasn't just me feeling your anger that I was here. It was me feeling your incredible pain, because the silver-lined coffin no longer blocked it, right. That's what you would have endured for twenty-five years, to protect me—terrible, indescribable pain. I think you're the imperceptible one. You can't even see how much your pain would have caused me pain, you stupid, big dummy."

"Dummy?" he repeated, tasting the word with a raise of one eyebrow. "I'm not sure I've ever been called a 'dummy' before."

"I don't know why not, you are one." I know it was an immature thing to say, but compared to a thousand year old vampire, I was young and immature. I had to look away from him, because I thought I might cry, because he had hurt me more than he knew, with his lies and by withholding things from me. It was like he was another Bill.

I looked back at him right as the doors opened. I thought I saw a wince of pain at that moment, because maybe he could feel MY PAIN, but his face turned back to an even mask as he reached for my hand, and hauled me from the elevator. We walked across the lobby, toward a hallway that led to a banquet hall.

Right before he opened the set of double doors he looked down at me and said, "I'm sorry my pain caused you such pain, Sookie. I'm sorry I lied to you. I didn't know the tiger had told you that I had already been sentenced. I know you hate it when people keep things from you, and lie to you. I don't always mean purposely to lie to you. It just happens."

"Lying just happens?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Yes, sort of like death and taxes, it's unavoidable," he said, with a smirk.

"Stop lying to me," I said tightly, pointing my finger in his chest.

"I love it when you're bossy and tell me what to do. You are like a little dominatrix," he said and then he winked.

"Eric, don't make light of this," I warned. "I stopped seeing Bill because of his lies. Remember that." That was the only warning I would ever give him on the matter.

He sighed. I always find the fact that he sometimes sighed and such strange, since vampires don't even need to breathe, so when they do something so utterly human, so humdrum, as sighing, I know it's just a holdover of their humanity, and it gives me a sort of comfort. Yes it does.

He took me by the shoulders and pulled me over to the side of the double doors. "Sookie, never compare me to Bill. I will stop hiding things from you, when I can. Some things aren't any of your concern, and I know you hate that fact, but that fact will always remain the same, and I can't and won't change it. Before we go in," he continued, "I have to tell you there have been a few more lies, so don't fault me for lies that happened before your command for me to stop lying, alright?"

Now _I_ sighed. It was a vicious cycle with him. The doors opened for us, and the King of Ohio smiled at first Eric, and then at me. He said amicably, "We've been waiting for you two to come. It's very interesting in there. Come on in and see," and then we were ushered in.

The next few hours were a complete blur. It was a stupid cocktail party, for goodness sakes. Everyone was dressed to the nines, (except for Eric and me) and there was blood being served in wine flutes, a stupid band playing, and I guess since this was Las Vegas, de Castro's people had set up a Roulette wheel, a poker table, a slot machine, and everything else you could think of that had lights, bells and whistles. Eric was treated like the man of the hour, instead of a prisoner of war, which was what I thought of him as.

Once I asked him what would happen if he and I just slipped out, caught a plane, and went back to Louisiana. He looked down at me and rejoined, "What do you think would happen, Sookie?"

I knew what would happen, but it didn't hurt to ask.

By about three in the morning I was dead on my feet, just like everyone else in the room, I thought with amusement, and I was actually leaning on Eric, not for support, but because if I didn't lean on him, I might fall over. He realized how tired I was and he showed me to a chair in the corner, and said that he had to talk to a few more people, and then we could go back up to our room.

I was half-afraid that de Castro or Victor would come over and talk to me if I was left alone, but they didn't, which was just as odd. They kept their distance. Bill and Pam hung behind Eric and me most of the evening, and I watched as Eric went to talk to members of the NVA, and again, Bill and Pam flanked his sides. It was an odd thing to watch, and I couldn't make heads or tails of the whole thing. I could live as long as Eric and I would still never understand vampire politics.

I noticed that I was the only non-vampire in the whole room. I didn't think that was too odd, but I still wondered why. I slumped in my chair, and was about to rest my head on my arms, on the table in front of me, when the King of New York walked up to me. I straightened right up.

"Hello, Miss Stackhouse," he said in that New York accent which I loved for some reason. He sounded like Tony Soprano, but he was ten times cuter.

"Mr. New York," I said. "I'm sorry; I don't recall your name, Your Highness." I really didn't remember his name. He laughed.

"Well, don't call me 'Your Highness'. If any of my friends heard that, they would make fun of me. My name is Anthony Salvo. What a boring name for a vampire, right?" he asked.

"No, I think it's a fine name, Sir," I said. It also fit him to a tee. I yawned, and said, "Excuse me, I didn't yawn because of your company. I'm tired. We had a long flight, and I've had a long couple of days before that."

"I realize that." He looked out at the crowd and he said, "The League is granting Eric a new trial tomorrow, although it's all for show. Ohio, his wife the Queen of Pennsylvania and I have also offered de Castro compensation for any wrongs he feels we may have made for trespassing on his supposed property, when we visited Eric without letting him know first, although that was the whole point of our visit, that he would find out and become enraged. That was the plan from the start. He's still unaware that he, himself, may face a trial, although I think he's worried, that's why he's putting on this show tonight. However, for Eric's sake, and your own, I believe everything will work out."

"Good," I said as a short response. "I hope so. I was willing to offer myself to de Castro for Eric, you know."

He gave me a smirk that would rival Eric's any day and said, "Yes, I know, but that will never have to happen. Instead, the NVA make him an offer of some sort, and he won't refuse."

I suddenly had a picture of Marlon Brando from the 'Godfather' saying, '_We'll make him an offer he can't refuse'._ I wondered if de Castro would find a horse's head in his coffin tomorrow morning. "Oh, good," I said, apprehensively. I leaned forward and said, "So, I shouldn't be worried?"

He smiled at me, and I thought he looked nice and all, but I wouldn't want to be in an alley alone with him, you know, because he also looked a bit menacing. He said, "I'm sure Eric wouldn't want his human mate to worry."

I had never been called a human mate before, and for some reason, I laughed at that. I excused myself again and flushed, "Sorry, the whole human mate thing made me laugh, Sir. Sometimes when I'm tired, I get a bit punch-drunk."

"I don't know that term," he said, although he seemed amused. He didn't ask me to explain. Instead he stood up and said, "Well, we'll see you tomorrow, Miss Stackhouse. Don't worry about anything."

"Call me Sookie, and thank you, Your Highness," I tried to stifle another giggle, because he had told me not to call him that, but still I didn't know why I was laughing. He gave me a slight bow and before I knew what happened, Eric had replaced him in the seat next to me.

"Flirting with another man, Sookie?" he asked, though he had a smile on his face. He didn't seem worried.

"Not at all. He was just explaining to me that I didn't need to worry, and he called me your 'human mate', which I found hilarious, and did you know that his last name ended with an 'o', but he did seem sort of nice, in a Mafiosi sort of way," I said. I realized I was rambling. I did that when I was tired, too.

Eric glared at me, and then took my hand. He laced his fingers with mine. "A perfect stranger tells you not to worry, so you don't worry. I tell you not to worry, and you call me a dummy."

"A big dummy," I reminded him. "And I called you that because of the lies. I'm tired, and I want you to make love to me. Can we go now?"

"That's the best invitation I've ever heard. I love it when you're tired and horny," he said with a laugh.

"I don't like that word," I frowned, as we stood up and crossed the room.

He nodded slightly to Pam and Bill and then as we walked out of the banquet hall he teased, "You don't like the word 'tired'? Well, I'll never use it again. I'm sorry."

I just shook my head and he laughed again. He always loved to irritate me, and he especially loved to do it when I was tired for some reason, so since he was the 'man of the hour' and he had recently endured some bad things, I would let him go at it, at least for a while.

We got back on the elevator, and I leaned against him. He placed his arm around me. There was a mirror on the back wall of the elevator. He leaned away, pushed a button, and the elevator started. He kept us turned toward the back, toward the mirrors.

"How tired are you, Sookie?" he asked.

I tired to turn toward him, but he kept me facing toward the mirror, and we stared at each other's reflections. I looked up and saw the numbers go by. One, Two, Three, Four. We even passed our floor.

"Eric, what button did you press?" I asked.

"The top floor," he said, as he kissed my neck.

"Why?" I asked, breathlessly, and no longer a bit tired.

"So I would have more time to do this," he murmured. He continued to kiss my neck.

"Eric, turn me around and kiss my mouth, please," I begged.

He looked at my reflection again and said, "I might not want to. Convince me to kiss you, Sookie." I turned in his arms, leaned over, and pressed the damn 'Stop' button again.

"Maybe I don't want to kiss you," I said.

"Now who's the liar?" he asked. He pulled me up to his chest, but then he turned me around again, so that my back was against his front. I watched in the mirror as his right hand went to my stomach, and into the waistband of my skirt. His left hand went to my neck, and grasped it lightly. The feel of his arousal on my backside made me want to melt like a puddle at his feet.

He forced one of his legs between mine, and he inched my skirt up with his hand on the front part of my thigh. The feel of his rough pants on the smooth skin of the back of my thighs made me highly aroused, as did the sight of our reflections in the mirror, and the fact that we were in a public elevator. I felt reckless and wonderful.

"I love you," he crooned. He didn't usually say that without prompting, or without other words around it. His lips went to my shoulder, and he pulled back my shirt collar and his teeth gently grazed the skin on my neck, before he bit down. His hand went from the outside of my skirt, to the inside of my panties in two seconds flat. He pressed me against his erection, as his fingers did wonderful things that made me moan.

Eric continued to suck on my neck, his right hand still in my panties, and his left hand kneading my breasts over my blouse and bra. I know I began to whimper. I wanted him completely. I wanted to go to our room, and do this the right way, but I also didn't want him to stop. I placed my hands on the smooth glass of the mirror, to brace myself. He was lifting me up slightly, as if I weighed nothing, I had nothing to anchor me, and I felt light and weightless, anyway. I begged, "Please, Eric, let's go to our room!"

He finally stopped sucking on my neck, his tongue dragging slowly across the wound. He whispered, "First, I want you to come for me, right now, in this elevator."

I arched against him. I couldn't help it. I was so close, and it had been so long since I had been with him, in any sense. He was supporting almost all of my weight by this time, and he was doing everything right in my book, and my head turned, and his lips captured mine, in a hard, deep, demanding kiss, and it was a good thing that he kissed me right then, because that was the moment that I came, and if his mouth hadn't been on mine, I would have screamed aloud.

When my legs stopped feeling like jelly, and the spasms stopped, he turned me to face him. He pulled down my panties, leaving on my skirt, undid his zipper, picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pumped into me so hard that he had me pressed against the mirrored wall of the elevator. This time, I did cry out, and I felt no shame, because it was a natural thing to do. His hands held me upright, right under my butt, and I was in pure ecstasy. He made a few noises himself, some grunts and groans. When his climax hit, it seemed to hit me at the same time, and after the longest climax I ever experienced, he almost collapsed against the wall of the elevator, with my legs still wrapped tightly around him.

I don't know what it is about having sex standing up with Eric, but man oh man, it's always amazing, of course, all sex with Eric is amazing, if I do say so myself. His head slumped down to the crook of my neck, and I finally placed my weak legs back to the ground. He pulled my skirt down, for which I was grateful, because my arms were stuck around his neck.

Then that's when I saw it, in the corner of the elevator. A small security camera. I hadn't seen it the first time we were in the elevator, but I saw it now. I patted Eric's arm, and then pointed over his shoulder and said, "Oh my God, Eric. There's a camera in here!"

Eric zipped his pants, reached down for my undies, stuck them in his pocket, turned around, and looked up at the camera. Then he smiled, hit the 'Start' button, hit the button for the sixth floor, and took my hand. He pulled me over; his arm slung around my neck, kissed the top of my head, and said, "I know. I saw it when we were in here earlier." He looked down at me and said, "So what? Now the tiger will know for sure that you are mine, without a doubt, and before you become angry, I didn't lie about the camera. I can't help it if you are imperceptive, my lover." He looked like the cat that swallowed the canary.

I looked up at the camera again and I didn't have one single thing to say for once. I really didn't. He was right, he didn't lie about the camera, and I was imperceptive, but from now on, Eric Northman was going to have to be on his toes, because Sookie Stackhouse was going to be so damn perceptive that he wasn't going to get away with anything. The elevator doors opened, he looked down at me again, and this time, I smiled up at him. What he didn't know was that he had just created a monster … a monster named Sookie.


	24. 24 Please

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 24: Please**

Washing my face in the bathroom of my hotel room, Eric leaned in the doorway and said, "I don't want you to come to the trial tomorrow night. You really don't know anything, and they don't plan to call you as a witness, anyway." When I didn't pay him any heed, he walked into the small bathroom and sat against the vanity, as I started to rinse my face.

I was too tired to argue right now, and I knew I was going to go to the trial anyway, no matter what he said, so I decided to placate him, at least in theory. "I'm plum tuckered out right now, Eric, so I'm not in the mood to argue. Can we discuss this tomorrow evening?"

He glared at me, and when I tried to leave the small space, he placed his leg on the opposite wall to block the doorway, so I couldn't leave. I looked at him innocently and asked, "What?"

"You gave in too easily, and I don't like it one bit," he said, creasing his brow.

"This is a new Sookie," I shrugged. A shrewd, sinister, underhanded Sookie, but he didn't need to know that. Let him think I meant 'a pliant, agreeable, pleasing' Sookie.

"I don't like this new Sookie," he said, frowning.

I almost wanted to laugh at him. I pointed at his chest and said, "Too bad, Northman, I am what you made me. I'm a product of my environment." I went out to the main room, sat on the bed, and began to peel away my clothes. He shut the bathroom door, probably to think alone for a moment. When he came back out, I was already in my nightgown, and I was under the covers. It was after four in the morning, and I really was worn out.

He stripped down to his briefs and slowly made his way to bed. He turned out the main light, but left the dim light on the bedside table burning. I turned to face him when he sunk in beside me. I placed my hand on his, "So tell me the truth, although I know that's the antithesis of your usual way of operating, but Eric, are you worried at all about tomorrow?"

He smiled. Sometimes when that man smiles, my heart melts. "I truly have not one worry about myself."

"I'm not sure that answers my question," I complained. "I didn't ask you if you were worried about yourself, exactly. Are you worried about the outcome?"

"No, I'm not, but Sookie, if something does go wrong, Pam and Bill have already been instructed to get you and Iain out of here, and you _will_ go. Don't try any heroics. Please."

My God, a thousand year old vampire just said 'Please' to me. I racked my brain and I tried to remember the last time he said please, at least, as a sincere request, and I couldn't recall it. I nodded slightly. I wanted to promise him anything right now.

"Eric, if I promise you this, will you promise me something in return, please?" I asked him, returning the simple request. He smiled again, and then reached over and cupped my cheek. He nodded, just like I did, and then he leaned over and kissed my mouth so sweetly that I forgot for a moment that he was a big bad ass vampire. "Will you start at the beginning, and tell me everything there is to know about you and Larkin and your plans with de Castro?"

He was quiet for so very long that I was beginning to wonder if he was on vampire downtime, because he wasn't moving either. He was still on his side, his hand was still on my cheek, but neither a word nor a movement came his way. Finally, he said, "I'll tell you what I feel you must know. I know that will probably not sate your curiosity, but it is all I'm willing to tell. Are you prepared to hear? I thought you were tired."

"Suddenly I'm wide awake," I answered truthfully. This vampire was going to tell me something that he normally would have kept secret, so yeah, I was awake.

"Years ago, Niall, your great-grandfather, first became aware that there was something, some ingredient, in fairy blood that made it so that vampires, very old vampires, could withstand daytime. Not the direct sunlight, but they did not feel compelled to sleep when the sun rose. He had his scientist work on this for many, many years, but because of the way fairy blood made vampires react, every test was unsuccessful."

"Because vamps want to drain fairies dry, right?" I interrupted.

"Correct, because they taste like nothing you would believe. They taste almost as good as you." He laughed, then leaned over and actually licked my cheek.

I squealed. "Eww, Eric, gross."

"My tongue has been in every nook and cranny of your body, so save it, Sookie," he joked. "Anyway, Niall's scientists were unsuccessful. Larkin became aware of these experiments, and began to work on the same thing, on the side, much to Niall's vexation. That's where Hadley came in."

"He turned her?" I asked.

"No, but he found out about her," he started. "She wasn't being protected by Niall's half-son, Fintan, the way you were, and so he had her turned. He used her blood for experiments, and found that it did work on extremely old vampires, to some degree. He brought his information to the Queen of Louisiana, and she took Hadley into her fold."

"To use her," I assumed.

"In the beginning, yes. Her blood wasn't strong enough to work the way Larkin had hoped. He couldn't really make any money out of it, so to speak. Therefore, he convinced Hadley to turn him."

"Hadley turned him, after he had her turned," I said, in disbelief.

"He used her. He played on her loneliness and lack of family," Eric stated plainly. "She was a sad creature, alone in the world, with drug and alcohol problems, alienated from her family, and after he changed her, she became a true favorite of the queen, and she became the queen's lover, but she was still basically unhappy and insecure, deep inside. Larkin fed on her insecurities. He offered her family, when she felt she had none. She happily changed him, not even thinking of retaliating because he was the reason she was a vampire."

I made a sort of moaning noise. Poor Hadley. She left a little boy behind, too. I was really beginning to hate Larkin more and more. I know it's wrong to hate, but sometimes it was right too, you know?

"Where does Iain come into this story?" I asked. I also yawned. Eric drew his long index finger down my face.

"Aren't you tired?"

"Extremely, but you're finally talking, so I'm not passing this opportunity up for anything. Now, continue," I persisted. He took my hand in his and continued.

"Larkin was working exclusively for the queen and she was paying him handsomely. She was letting some of us use him as well. After the queen became attached to Hadley, she had no need for Larkin, who by this time had perfected his blood so that it could be used for vampires to stay awake during daytime. He used his own unique blood, part fae, part human, part vampire, but he no longer had a market. He began to search for other clients, but our former queen, ruthless thing that she was, didn't want him to reveal his secrets. She wanted it all for herself."

"Okay, still not following, and I'm getting a little tired, so speed this explanation up," I pleaded.

"Speed it up?" he asked. He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling. I moved his arm, cuddled up to his side, and placed my head on his chest. "Speeding things up is that the queen contacted Niall, requested that he use his persuasion to make sure that Larkin did not 'sell his services' to any other vampires, and that he not bother Hadley any longer. Niall extended his edict that Larkin also was not to have contact with you or your brother."

"The problem was that Larkin had a half brother, Iain. They had the same father, Fintan, but different mothers. He found Iain, turned him, and used him. He took him as a prisoner, marketed Iain's newfound blood properties to several very powerful and old vampires, and thus, he circumvented Niall's diktat, and the queen wasn't any wiser, because she didn't know about Iain's existence."

"Poor Iain." I sat up in bed. "And then Pam and Bill had the poor thing in iron shackles. Wait a second, he's your private supply! Larkin said so!" I got out of bed and pointed my finger at him. "So poor Iain went from being used by his own half brother … turned into a vamp without his consent, his blood used against his will, being held prisoner, and then he went to being your prisoner!"

He sat up slowly. "Don't make assumptions, Sookie, because it's unbecoming. Iain is under my protection. Niall rescued him from Larkin before he crossed over, and he asked me to help protect him from Larkin. I'm sorry for the way that Pam and Bill persuaded him to come here. It was wrong of them, and they will be dealt with, but that's neither here nor there. Yes, I use his blood on occasion, but no, he's not my prisoner, and he's treated very, very well. I have only consented to do this for Niall because of Niall's connection to you, lover."

He got out of bed. He seemed genuinely upset by my accusations. I took several cleansing breaths, thought about everything that he told me, decided it made sense, and so then, I sat down on the side of the bed. He sat down beside me.

"When Niall crossed over, why didn't he do something about Larkin before he left?" I asked.

"He should have," Eric conceded, "but the prince has a softness for all his grandchildren, though he shows it differently for different ones. He also thought Larkin would keep his promises to leave Iain alone, and to leave you alone. Apparently, Larkin lied. He has been trying to forge a relationship with you since the prince left this realm. He thought you would be weak and needy, after what happened to you with those evil fairies. He thought you would be lonely the way Hadley was, but he doesn't know you the way the rest of us do." He smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist.

I rested my head on his shoulder. Before I knew it, he pulled me onto his lap. "When we were at the bar, the night you had all the northern vamps there, and Larkin was there, why did it appear that he was on your side? I thought maybe you were blackmailing him or had something on him."

"No, I was playing him, I think it's called. I wanted him to believe that I was planning a coup d'état against the king, who was one of his clients, so I asked him for his supposed help. He happily helped me, but I knew he would betray me. I was counting on it. I knew it was a risk, because I was afraid he might come after you, but once he thought I was no longer against him, he saw no rush in getting you under his spell."

"He was a cog in the Eric Northman machine," I joked. "Another question," I posed.

"Aren't you tired yet?" he asked. "I can't recall the last time I revealed so many secrets in one setting. I might spontaneously combust if I continue to tell so many truths. Truths have the same effect on me as the sun, I think."

"The pile of horse shit is getting deep," I observed. "As I was saying, can I ask one more question?"

"You may," he said, correcting my grammar in that irritating way of his.

"Did Sam, Bill or Pam know about any of this?"

"No." Well, that was a short and concise answer. "However, Alcide did." I looked up at him and he stood, lifting me in his arms as he did, and he placed me back on the bed. He pulled down the covers, climbed over me, looked down at me, nose-to-nose, and said, "Now, I want to have sex once more, before dawn, okay?"

I placed my hands on his shoulders and said, "You cannot stop your story there, Eric, and I don't care if you want sex, or if it's dawn or not. Tell me more!"


	25. 25 There's no Place Like Home

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 25: There's no Place like Home**

Eric and I talked until dawn. He answered almost every single question I bombarded him with, and I believe he did so truthfully, though one can never really tell with Eric. By pre-dawn's early light, he made love to me once more, and then he fell into his daytime sleep.

Although I was more tired than I could remember being in a long time, I had one more person I needed to speak to before I could rest. I crawled from our bed, showered again, dressed, and then I went down to the lobby, up to the front desk, and I asked, "Can you tell me the room number of Alcide Herveaux, please."

I took the elevator up to the third floor, went to room 310, and I knocked. It was very early, and I knew he could still be asleep, but I had to talk to him. After everything Eric told me, I just had to.

He answered the door while I was raising my hand to knock the third time. It was apparent he had just gotten out of the shower. His hair was wet, and he was pulling a black t-shirt over his chest. Even though I wasn't supposed to know he was there, he didn't seem very surprised to see me. He also didn't seem very happy. He was always very hard for me to read, and he always had very ambiguous feelings for me, anyway. There was always a part of him that wanted us to be together, more than he wanted us to be together, if that made sense.

"Alcide," I greeted.

He looked out the door, down each part of the long hallway, and then he opened his door wider. "Come in, Sookie."

I walked in his room, a replica of mine, only opposite. He motioned to the only chair in the room. I shook my head no. I really preferred to stand, and I didn't intend to be there very long.

"What do you want?" he asked, already perturbed with me, and I didn't know why.

I grimaced, "Gee, nice to see you, too."

"I'm sorry, Sookie, but it's really early, and I have to testify at Eric and de Castro's tribunal tonight, in front of the National Vampire League, and I'm a bit on edge. Also, I don't think we should be seen together." He sat on the edge of the bed, crossed one leg over the other and then motioned with his hands for me to speak next.

Instead, I walked up to him and replied, "I'm sorry I bothered you." I didn't say it sarcastically. I actually meant it from the bottom of my heart. I stepped closer to him, leaned down, and kissed his cheek. "Eric told me that you helped him and I wanted to say thank you. I thought that you had betrayed him, and in a sense, betrayed me, and even though you didn't know I thought that, I had very bad feelings toward you, and for that, I apologize."

I plastered a real smile on my face. I started to walk toward the door, but he was quick to grab my wrist. He pulled me back slightly. "I didn't help him, Sookie, let's make that clear. I did it for you, because you'll always be a friend of the pack and more than that, you'll always be a friend of mine."

I still smiled, and I leaned down and kissed his other cheek. My free hand was on his shoulder as I straightened back up. "And you'll always be a friend of mine, Alcide. No matter what. I don't care why you did it, but Eric said that you convinced the Nevada Weres who work for de Castro that you wanted Eric gone, and you helped them to kidnap him and you also helped to bring him here, and if you hadn't done that, he might have come into real danger when they brought him here. So, no matter what the reason, thank you."

He still had my wrist in his large hand. His hand was warm. He was warm. He smelled familiar, he smiled at me in a friendly manner and that overwhelmed me. He was _warm and friendly,_ and I was tired of feeling cold, but still, I didn't envy his warmth. I didn't covet it, or desire it one bit. For the first time since I had met him, I didn't feel anything but fondness for him. I didn't feel any of those uncertain feelings that I usually felt around him … feelings of want, feelings of desire, feelings of contempt, feelings of disappointment, and I really think he finally felt the same.

He stood up, hugged me tightly, and said in my ear, "Don't you ever worry about a thing, Sookie." I nodded, started toward the door, looked back only once, nodded again, and then left his room. I went to the lobby, had a blueberry muffin and some coffee (continental breakfast, don't you know), and then I finally went up to bed.

Eric was right where I left him, but of course. I slipped out of my clothes, placed them neatly on the chair by the bed so that I could slip them back on later this evening when we woke, and I pulled back the covers. Climbing in beside him, I studied his face closely.

He really was a lovely man, or vampire, at least on the outside. That thought made me smile. My fingertips fanned over his face. I gently touched his eyebrows, and the slope of his nose. I leaned down and kissed his slightly opened mouth. Even though I knew short of beating him senseless, he would never wake up from my ministrations, I was still cautious, and I touched him as lightly as I could.

My hand went to his hair, and then down his jaw. I looked at him differently, and I liked what I saw, not only because of his physical beauty, but also because of something else, which I couldn't express. Something was filling me up, filling me up whole, closing around my heart, and it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. It was a good feeling, a righteousness, which filled up my 'holy' tabernacle with love and understanding. I was in awe that I had finally had this epiphany. I was also alone, and I couldn't share it with anyone. Maybe that's how it was supposed to be.

My hand began to drift over the taut skin of his body, over his chest, ribs, abdomen. I slipped my hand under the sheet. I felt a bit perverted, but I even slipped my hand around his glorious penis, and under his testicles. They didn't move an inch. That was a first.

I smiled again and my hand continued its trek down his legs, long, lean and all muscle. Even though he was dead to the world, I leaned over him, brushed my hands back up his chest, down his arms, and then over his face again, ever so lightly. I ended my exploration with a kiss to his cold lips. Even though he would never hear me, I leaned my body over his and said, "Eric, I'm finally ready to commit myself to you, so you better come home with me." I wrapped my arms around him, placed my head on his chest, and I thought about home until I finally slept.

And all day long I dreamt of nothing but home. Just simple dreams. I know I dreamt a bit about Gran. In one snippet of a dream, I was eating pumpkin pie, on Thanksgiving day. I could smell sweet potatoes, stuffing, and turkey, and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was on the television. I was sitting on the living room rug, eating my pie, in front of the television, and Gran walked in and told me that there was some whipped cream in the refrigerator if I wanted it on my pie. I told her no, but when I turned back toward the TV, I knocked over my glass of milk. I started to stand up, but she was right there with a dishrag, and she mopped it up, then cupped my cheek and told me to be careful. Then she told Eric, "You be careful, too, and you take good care of my Sookie, and don't let her spill anymore milk." I didn't know Gran knew Eric, and I didn't know Eric was in the room until she spoke to him.

I turned toward the rocking chair, and there he sat, with a grin on his face. He promised my grandmother that he would take good care of me, and she told him, "I hope you do," and she kissed his cheek.

He said, "I will, Mrs. Stackhouse, I always will." She left the room. I looked back at the chair and again he grinned at me, and then he winked.

I also had a very vivid dream where I dreamt that I was outside, sunbathing, the sun caressing my skin with its warmth. It was hot, but I wasn't the least bit put out because I had been so cold for so long, and the heat from the sun felt good on my skin. I had my eyes closed, but I could still sense that something was suddenly blocking the sun. I looked up, one hand coming to shade above my eyes, and I squinted, and then said happily, "Eric, it's so good to see you in the sunshine."

"Where else would I be, Sookie? If you're in the sunshine, it makes sense that I would be, too. I'll always be with you, no matter where you are," he promised. He reached for my hand, and drew me up from the chair. Then he led me inside the house.

I know I dreamt at least one other dream that day. I dreamt I was stuck in an old-time black and white movie. I know I have never dreamt in black and white before. My brother Jason used to tell me that he always dreamt in black and white, and I thought that sounded weird, and perhaps made up, but there I was, dreaming in black and white. I didn't like this black and white world. It felt alien, and uncomfortable, and cold and foreign. I knew I was in my own house, but it didn't feel like home. I ran from room to room, looking for Gran, for Jason, even for my mother and father, whom I hadn't dreamt of in years.

I couldn't find any of them. I sat in the middle of the foyer, and I began to cry. I felt fingers on my face. Someone stroked my cheek, pulled me to a stand, and embraced me. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm scared and alone and I want to go home," I said.

"You are home," he said.

I had my eyes closed tightly, and I refused to open them, but I said, "This isn't my home. It looks like my home, but it's not. My home is in color, and its vibrant, and real, and warm, and alive. This place is cold and ugly and black and white, and its dead, Eric, it's so dead." I knew it was Eric speaking to me, even though I wouldn't look at him, and I was still crying.

"I'm here," he said. "I may not be warm, I may not be alive, so to speak, but I'm real, and I'm here, and you'll always have a home with me, Sookie."

In my dream, I looked up at him, and suddenly, the dream was alive with color, tremendous, vibrant colors, brighter than I had ever seen. The whole dream reminded me of the '_Wizard of Oz'_. When I was little, I hated the black and white part of that movie, and I would often avoid watching it until the color part started. Then I would watch it intently.

My favorite character was always the Tin Man. He appeared cold and hard on the outside, and people thought he didn't have a heart, but he had a heart all along, and even though he was cold and hard, to Dorothy he was still precious, and alive, and caring, and loving. I realized, even while I was still in my dream, that Eric was my very own Tin Man.

That was when I woke up. I lifted my head from his chest, and it was soaked with my tears. I looked up at his face. He was awake. He was dragging his fingers up and down my back. His other arm was around the front of my body. He held me, and I realized that the words I thought were from my dream were real. He had really said them.

Before I could wipe away my tears, he placed his hand on my cheek and wiped away my tears with his thumb. I placed my face back on his chest. "What did I say?" I asked heavily.

"You were dreaming and you began to cry," he began, in a soothing voice, the cadence and timbre even and smooth. His fingers continued to go up and down my back, softly and smoothly.

"Then what happened?" I was almost afraid to ask.

I could almost hear him smile. I lifted my face from his chest, and yes, he was smiling. "You said that you wanted to go home. You said you were tired, and cold, and lonely, and something about it being black and white. I told you that you would always have a home with me, even if I was cold and in color."

I laughed. "There's no place like home," I said. I leaned forward, kissed the middle of his chest, and then his jaw and then his lips. "Just like the good witch told Dorothy, she had the power to go home the whole time; she just had to believe."

"Who is this Dorothy and of what good witch are you referring?" he asked, quite seriously.

I started to laugh. I laughed, kissed him again, and climbed out of bed. "Come on, Tin Man, it's time we got dressed. We have a trial to go to tonight, and before you say that I can't go, I want you to know that I have the power to go anywhere that I want, if I just believe."

I sashayed to the bathroom and had to laugh again when I heard him say, "Why did she call me Tin Man?"


	26. 26 Potpourri

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 26: Potpourri**

Eric and I were sitting at a big conference table in the middle of the same large room where we had our little meet and greet last night. Eric was giving me a look, one eyebrow in the air, one side of his mouth to the side, and then he slapped my hand away from my chest lightly. It was because I continued to fidget with my blouse. It was gaping open in the front. It was fine when I stood up, but when I sat it gaped open a bit. Part of the curse of being born with plenty of nature's bounty, I suppose. I looked over at Eric again, one leg crossed over another, one arm across the back of my chair. He seemed relaxed and perfectly at ease. How did he do it? We were sitting on plush, swiveled chairs around the conference table, and at the moment, the King of Ohio was at the end of the table, being questioned by one of the other NVA members about the night he came to Eric's bar.

This wasn't so much a trial as it was an informal type of question and answer session. The room was set up like a large meeting room … big table in the center, chairs all around, a credenza on the side with bottled water and bottles of blood on ice. The more important people were sitting around the table, like the NVA members, de Castro and Madden, Eric and Alcide. Other people were in chairs behind us, along the walls. A few people were up and walking around, like Quinn, and some other bodyguards. And one very pissed off part vampire/part fae cousin of mine was leaning against the wall in the corner of the room, and he was staring right at me.

Every once in a while, one of the members of the NVA, who were scattered across the room amongst the other guests like potpourri, would raise their hands and ask a question or two, or they might even ask Eric a question, and he would answer it right from his seat. Sometimes people made jokes. A few times people began talking too loudly amongst themselves and the head NVA person, the King of Maryland, would tell everyone to settle down, but, for the most part, it was a relaxed atmosphere.

I almost felt like I was at a seminar and I was waiting for the team building exercises to begin. I was also highly aware that mine was the only human brain in the room. Coincidence? I think not.

Felipe and Victor sat on the other side of the table, across from Eric and me. They would counter each question with a question or two of their own. Victor stood up a couple of times, and with that cool exterior of his, he would say things like, "Come now, Eric, do you really want us to believe that you were merely entertaining out-of-town guests, and that you weren't talking about an uprising?"

He asked it as coolly as if he was saying, "Really Eric, do you think you look nice in black?"

Then Eric, with his equally cool demeanor, would answer his accusations with such things as, "I didn't know it was against the king's edict to serve out-of-town guests drinks. I'll be sure to remember that next time."

People would laugh when he would make remarks like that. I smiled openly at a few of the more entertaining comments. When I did, he would brush his hand lightly across my neck or back as it rested against the back of my chair. Yes, Eric seemed to be having a grand old time.

The whole time, Larkin remained in the corner of the room, not participating, not asking any questions, not answering any, and staring, mostly at me. His arms were crossed and stance rigid. He was NOT cool and collected, not in the least.

I wasn't sure I understood this little question and answer seminar that we were participating in, but I didn't have to understand. When the Queen of Pennsylvania began to talk about the fact that Eric was taken from his home state and found guilty without proper representation, I sat upright and began to shake my head in agreement. Eric reached over a few times and touched me, just small touches during this time. Once his thumb rubbed my shoulder. Once his hand came to the back of my neck, under my hair, and he left it there for a few seconds before he removed it. One time, when I was pulling at the front of my blouse again, he grinned and pulled my hand away, and then he brought it to his mouth and kissed it.

I leaned over and whispered, "Is it going well? I really can't tell."

Eric wasn't looking at me when he answered. He whispered back, "Yes, lover, all is well," but his gaze was on the corner of the room, at Larkin. I followed it. Larkin wasn't looking back at Eric. He was still staring daggers at my soul. Eric looked from Larkin to me, then back to Larkin. I heard a very low growl, deep in Eric's chest. His arm went around me possessively.

The King of Maryland asked if any of the other council members had questions before they went off to talk amongst themselves. Larkin pushed away from the wall and he said, "I have a question, if I may, Your Highness, although I am not part of the National Vampire Assembly, but I have some insight in the Eric Northman case, and I would like to share what I know with the members of the Assembly, if I may."

I took a breath in and waited to see what he would say.

He began to walk around the room, his mere beauty overwhelming. Vampires overall are lovely creatures, well, strike that—Vampires on the whole are lovely to _look at_, but Larkin was truly a half-breed that was a true breed apart. He was breathtakingly beautiful, being part fae, but only on the outside, which made him seem incredibly ugly, even more so than someone with a facial deformity.

Larkin's brother, Iain, sat behind me, next to Pam, up against the wall. I turned slightly in my seat to look at the man behind me. He looked serious and subdued. He was waiting to hear what his brother had to say, just like the rest of us. I felt Eric's hand on my back again. He was rubbing it up and down, slowly, granting me comfort, security, and grounding me, giving me a center. Larkin walked closer, still staring right at me. Lord, it was as if he was staring into my soul.

"I have reasons to believe that the Kings of New York and Ohio, and the Queen of Pennsylvania, have glossed over their true reasons for visiting Eric Northman that night weeks ago, and their agenda for doing so is plain and simple, they are doing it for personal gain. Since they have all claimed it was nothing but a social call, how can I prove differently? Yes, I was there, but I wasn't privy to their conversations. Yes, I was led to believe they were discussing Northman's desire for secession and his wish to be out from under the thumb of Nevada, but then again, that was apparently what they wanted me to believe so I would bring that news back to de Castro. Even if it wasn't true at the time, it still served a means to their end. It brought us all here tonight." His arms reached out to motion toward the crowd.

He was now looking at everyone, not just at me, of which I was thankful. "You know, there was another person there that evening and no one's asked her any questions yet. Would anyone mind if I asked her a few?" Damn, he was looking at me again.

I felt Eric stiffen beside me. His hand brushed the back of my neck again. Before he could protest, (and I knew he wanted to) the King of Ohio stood and spoke. "First, this isn't a formal trial. This is a meeting to determine if the trial that the King of Nevada had against Eric Northman, on the grounds of treason, was just. It's also a way for the few of us who are on the council to determine if de Castro had a right to take over Louisiana and Arkansas in the first place."

He continued, "You're right, you weren't a party to our private conversations that night, nor was this young woman. I'm sorry, fairy, but I do mind if you ask questions, and I do mind the implication that I'm not being truthful, and that my wife, the Queen of Pennsylvania, and my dear friend, the King of New York, are being less than honest. There's no reason to ask Eric's human wife any questions at all, and furthermore, you have no grounds to ask anything of anyone."

_'So there,'_ I added in my head.

Larkin continued to smile. His teeth were so white they dazzled me. "Come now, Your Highness, you know as well as I do that Eric Northman contacted the NVA in the beginning to file a petition wanting to secede from Nevada. I'm not certain what you have to gain by lying about this, but I don't fear any of you here. To you all, I'm nothing but a half-breed, an anomaly. Why not let me ask my simple questions. They might be useless, or they might be helpful."

"I think we should let him ask questions, after all, he was there that night, plus, he is related to Eric's human wife," Victor snarled.

"We have nothing to hide, ask your questions, freak," Eric answered for me.

Larkin walked up to the edge of the table, stood beside de Castro, looked right at me and said, "Sookie, why did you go to Fangtasia that night?"

"To see Eric." I did not intend to lie for Eric, or to Larkin, and I really wasn't aware of anything that night, so I wasn't afraid of anything Larkin had to ask me. In my mind I thought, _'bring it on'_.

Larkin looked bored suddenly and he said, "And when you arrived there that evening, were you able to see Eric right away, or were you made to wait."

I saw where he was going with this, and I didn't like it. I answered right away. "I was told he was busy, so I waited until he was free."

"Who told you he was busy?" was the next question from Larkin.

"Pam."

"What did the lovely Pam say to you, exactly?" Larkin was now walking toward the head of the table. All eyes followed him. However, Eric looked at me.

"Pam said that he wasn't expecting me, but that he was happy that I had come, and that he was busy entertaining some guests." Frankly, I couldn't recall Pam's exact words, but it was something close to that.

"He was entertaining? Those were her exact words?" Larkin inquired. He was coming closer. Eric was closer to him than I was. He whipped around in his seat to look at the man, before he took my hand, possessively.

I knew the longer I kept quiet, the worse things appeared. I racked my brain for the precise words and then said, "Well, I asked Pam if he was busy, and she said yes, that he had real important people with him that night, and that they were having an important meeting, but that I should go sit down at his table, have a rum and coke and wait for him."

That was the best I could remember.

"Then who did you see?" Larkin asked.

Eric raised one hand, in apparent disgust, and said, "How is any of this pertinent?"

"Answer the question, woman," Maryland said, none too nicely.

"Bill Compton stopped by my table," I recalled.

Larkin was now standing behind Eric and me. We both had to swivel our chairs to look at him. Bill was standing on the other side of the room. I looked at Bill, figuring Larkin would ask him a question now, but instead, Larkin said, "And did Bill Compton tell you what he was doing at Fangtasia?"

In my mind, I was screaming, _"oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God."_ Outwardly, I answered, "He said that he was there to see Eric and some of Eric's guests, and that he had a short presentation to give them." I said it quietly. I felt like with each question I answered, I was nailing another nail in Eric's coffin.

Eric seemed nonplussed, even bored. He crossed his legs again and even stretched his arms above his head as Larkin rounded the other side of the table now. My gaze followed the man, mainly because he was still asking me questions.

"What happened next?" Larkin stopped walking and leaned his hip on the table, right next to my arm. I backed my chair up a bit, because his closeness was disconcerting.

"Are we going to go over a minute by minute replay of the human's day?" New York asked. A few people laughed. I swallowed, nervously.

"Answer," Maryland barked. I was beginning not to like that man, especially since Victor and de Castro were now smiling, and Larkin was gleaming as well. I felt Eric's presence by my side, and that gave me strength to go on.

"Bill left, and some vampire associate of New York's came over and tried to buy me a drink, but I refused. I told him I was waiting for Eric. He said a few crude things to me, I reminded him who Eric was and who I was to Eric, and he left me alone."

Larkin laughed a small, fake laugh full of disdain and cynicism. He reached out and touched my hair. I moved my head to the side, but Eric's reflexes were even faster. He moved my entire chair away from Larkin, so that several feet separated us. Larkin didn't flash an eyelash. He didn't look at Eric. He still only had eyes for me, even as I was now five feet from the table and him, still in my chair.

"The vamp left you alone, you say?" Larkin gleamed. "Are you certain that he didn't try to accost you in the hallway of the bar, take you into the men's room, and drain you of your blood?"

"I don't know what was going on in his mind," I waned. "I can only read human's minds, not vampires." I was getting a bit peeved now, and it showed in my responses.

Larkin pushed away from the table, but then he knelt in front of my chair. I looked over at Eric, who stood up beside my chair. Larkin dared not touch me, if he wanted to keep his hand, but he placed one hand on the edge of the chair, and he said, "Is it not true, cousin, that I had to save you from the vampire. He had pulled you into one of the stalls, and before he could bite you, or worse, rape you, I pulled the creature off you and took care of him. Is that not the truth? Where was Eric? He wasn't there to save you, yet I was."

He stood up, pleased with himself. Eric stood behind my chair, but still had yet to utter a word. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say, because the man really hadn't asked me a question this time. I finally said, "Eric was there when I became alert again, and he held me."

"How sweet of him," Larkin said sarcastically. "Do you know if I killed the vampire in question, Sookie?"

"I don't recall," I again answered honestly.

Larkin looked out among the throng of vampires, glued to his every word apparently, and said staunchly, "I'll answer then. I didn't kill him. I wanted to, but Eric forbade me to do so. Forbade me from hurting the vampire that wanted to bite or perhaps rape his very own human wife. How odd does that strike everyone here?"

I looked over at Eric, who was still standing, still by my side, his hand now on my shoulder.

"I know if someone tried to hurt someone I loved as much as Eric claims to love my cousin, I would kill the creature, even if it messed up a business arrangement, but no, Eric and the other kings rushed into the bathroom and stopped me because, Eric said, and I quote, 'It was bad for business.' Therefore, even though Sookie is my own flesh and blood, and I wanted to kill the creature that harmed her, even if her own bonded did not, I relented to Eric's wishes because I knew his business with the northern vampires was important to him. Odd, though, the very act of their bond means no one can hurt her or take her from Eric except under penalty of death, unless of course, that penalty is preempted by an important business deal."

Larkin smiled and laughed again. Victor and a few others laughed, too. Were they laughing at Eric and me or with Larkin? I didn't know. I just knew I hated Larkin, and I also felt slightly angry with Eric, but I was sure that was Larkin's intent.

Larkin walked back behind de Castro and he said, "One more question, Sookie, and answer it the best that you can remember. When he told you that I was the one that saved you from the vampire, you asked him if I killed him. Do you recall asking him that and what he said back to you?"

I looked at Eric. He sat back down and he wouldn't look back at me. Well, fuck him and fuck this whole crowd. I said, "He told me he was happy that you only incapacitated him, at least until he finished his business with his king, and then, with his king's permission, he said that he would seek retribution."

Larkin started back toward his corner, where all of this started, and said, "Do you know if he ever sought that retribution, cousin?"

"You would have to ask him," I spat.

"Oh, I don't have to ask him. I already know the answer. The vampire who attacked you, and whom I attacked, was set free. He is the child of the King of New York, and I assume his sire may have slapped his wrist for the slight against you, but I don't know for certain. However, the Sheriff of Area Five, who should have protected you for the mere fact that he is the sheriff and that you are supposed to be under the protection of his king, let alone the fact that you are supposedly his loved one, his beloved, his bonded, his wife … did nothing in retribution against the vampire in question. He didn't want to ruin the little plans he set in motion that night, which was to break free from his rightful king, with the help of these other vampires."

And with that, he folded his arms again, returned to his corner, continued to stare at me, and smiled.

I felt anger ripple off Eric. No one seemed to want to speak next, so I decided to do some fishing myself. I had a lot I wanted to ask the big blonde vampire beside me, but that could wait. First, I wanted to ask my cousin a couple of things.

"Excuse me, Your Highness," I addressed the King of Maryland, "but may I now I ask a couple of questions. I promise I won't take as long as my esteemed cousin, and I'm sure I won't be quite as dramatic or have as much flare, but I still think I might shed some insight into some things from that night, too, if I may."

"Of course, woman, go ahead," he permitted.

I stood up. Eric backed his chair up a bit, but I refused to look over at him. He knew I was angry, but that was the least of our worries. I had to get him off scot-free, then I had to get him home, and then I would whip his ass good.

"What's your whole relationship with de Castro?" I asked Larkin. "In other words, you're not merely one of his lackeys, you're not one of his children, you have a very profitable business and he's one of your clients. Would you like to share the nature of that business with the members of this committee?"

"It is enough to say that I have business with him," he answered, vaguely.

I started to walk toward him, just as he had walked toward me when he questioned me. "But what sort of business?"

"Personal business." It seemed Larkin wasn't going to volunteer any information he didn't want to volunteer, so I decided to be a bit more specific in my questions.

I was perhaps ten feet from him. Everyone either was turned in his or her seats to watch us, or was leaning over in the chairs. I continued, "Do you recall telling me that night that you hated Eric with a passion, but that he was a shrewd business man? Do you recall telling me that you were there that night as a bargaining tool for his new business arrangement with the Kings of Ohio and New York, and the Queen of Pennsylvania? You told me that you weren't there of your own free will. Do you recall any of that?"

He glared at me, but didn't answer.

I persisted. "I asked you why Eric no longer viewed you as a threat to me, and you said that you weren't helping him voluntarily, but were forced to do his bidding. You had a special product that Eric thought these other kings and queens might be interested in, and which de Castro was currently hogging all for himself. Even though you said you weren't there voluntarily, Eric didn't have an iron leash around your neck. You could have left at any time, but you didn't, and I wager that you stayed because you were secretly hoping that you could expand your business to include these northern guests of Eric's that night."

I looked around the room, but I avoided looking at Eric. I stared hard back at Larkin and said, "Tell the council members what that business is, Larkin. Tell them what it is that you sell to de Castro, exclusively. Tell them what he's holding out on all of them. I mean, surely you wouldn't have minded having other important clients besides just the King of Nevada, right. If Eric had succeeded in his quest to get away from Nevada, which is what you claim he was doing that night, then it would have been great for you, too, because it would have expanded your business. Maybe Eric told you he would protect you from de Castro, or maybe not, but please, tell them all, right now, why you're so special, cousin."

My long speech was winding down, and I felt cocky right now. I knew that de Castro didn't want the other vampires in the room to know about the unique qualities in Larkin's blood, but I also knew that Larkin was a shrewd businessman, just as he claimed Eric was, and he probably did want others to know his secret. He went to Fangtasia that night to help Eric break away from Nevada, but for his own means, and when things didn't work out, he had to act as if he, too, was affronted by Eric's treachery.

I felt vindicated that I had figured everything out, so imagine my surprise when Larkin laughed and said, "You know nothing cousin. You can't implicate me when I've done nothing wrong. I _was _forced to be there that night. I wasn't there to expand my business. I wasn't there of my own free will. You're right, the king didn't know I was there, but that was because Eric and Victor forced me to come. I wasn't there to expand my business, but to try to buy my own brother's freedom from Eric." There was a collective gasp in the room.

Larkin looked wild and forlorn. He had said more than he had intended. I approached him closer. Then, in one of those weird moments of clarity when I can read the minds and intentions of creatures besides humans I said, "My God, you were forced to be there, weren't you? Under the express command of Victor Madden, who was working with Eric to buy Louisiana's freedom, and to gain Nevada for himself! I can hear your thoughts!" I spoke softly, coming closer to him, my hand reaching out to touch his face, so I could see things with more clarity.

I concluded, "You were forced to help Eric by Victor, and not only because he wants Louisiana for Eric, and Nevada for himself, but because he's your true sire, isn't he?"

I heard Eric wince from the other side of the room. I swear I heard Pam snicker. I heard Iain exhale a held breath. Nevertheless, the only thing I didn't hear was myself scream when I was knocked to the ground by Victor Madden, who suddenly pulled Larkin across the table, his fangs on the other man's neck, and his hand tightly grasping mine.


	27. 27 Elton John Said it Best

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 27: ****Elton ****John**** said it best**

I know my head banged hard against the floor because it actually bounced several times, and I immediately felt nauseated and I swear I saw stars. Victor's hand was squeezing my neck so hard that I knew I was going to die. I couldn't tell if Larkin was safe, I couldn't tell if anyone was going to help me, I could only hear the swirl of noise and madness that was going on around me. I could only feel terrible pain, and the last thing I felt was a sensation like I was under water, and then everything went pitch black.

The next thing I knew, my head was on Pam's leg. She was stroking my head. I looked up at her, surprised by her tenderness, but then I realized my head was bleeding and she was stroking blood from my head to suck it from her fingers. Okay, it was gross, but still a bit sweet of her.

I moaned and tried to sit up, but she said firmly, "Don't move yet." Then to emphasize her request, she pushed me back down.

Okay, I thought. I didn't feel like moving anyway. Besides, out of the corner of my eye I could see vampires standing around me, some staring down at me, some with their backs to me. It was a bit disconcerting. "Pam?"

"Yes, my sweet little friend?" she asked, her hand swiping my head again.

"Ah, why is everyone standing around me? Are they all waiting their turn?"

She laughed, and somehow with that laugh I felt better. "No, you silly goose." (Silly goose?) They're keeping the terrible sight of de Castro's torn body from your view. He was literally torn limb from limb, and it is a bit gruesome."

"Who killed de Castro?" I asked.

"Iain," she said with a smile.

"What happened to Victor?" The last thing I remembered, Victor was squeezing the life out of me with one hand while his other hand held Larkin tightly to his throat, so why wasn't he dead?

"Oh, he's dead, too. Eric killed him. His body is shriveling away as we speak. The King of New York thought that you might not want to see such a sight when you came to, so he told everyone to stand around you."

"Oh," I said, as if that made sense. How nice of the King of New York. I squirmed to sit up. I ached all over. Finally, she let me sit beside her. "What happened?"

The King of Ohio looked over his shoulder from his place in front of me and said, "Well, Victor Madden is dead. When you revealed his conspiracy with Eric, he grabbed you and Larkin. Then de Castro went after Madden at the same moment. The result was that Larkin, the strange human-fae-vampire thing, is dead. Madden killed him immediately. Eric killed Madden because he was going to kill you, and Iain killed de Castro, in a dazzling display of power, which I didn't know one of his kind possessed. It was awesome."

"Awesome," I repeated, fairly sure I had never said that word before in my life. I placed my back against the wall and clutched at my sore neck. Most of the vampires turned away from me. "Did anyone bite me?" I asked.

Pam smiled and said, "Oh no, it didn't get that far. Victor merely squeezed your neck until you passed out and hit your head on the floor." I craned my neck, painfully, to see if I could see Eric, but I couldn't. She could tell what I was doing and she said, "Eric is fine. He won't be in trouble for this. He was protecting his property."

So I was his property, huh?

"Pam, will you help me up to my room?" I asked.

"I don't know if you can leave yet," she said, truly concerned. She stood up and said, "Let me ask Eric. Stay here."

Where did she think I was going? I stayed on the floor, back against the wall, large conference table in two pieces in front of me (I just noticed it) chairs turned over all around me, and to the side, the remains of two dead vampires, (can anyone say, 'gooey mess'?) and a dead 'half-breed', (it still looked mostly like Larkin, dammit). The sight of that beautiful creature, dead only ten feet from me, would now haunt me in my dreams forever.

Quinn walked up to me, knelt down and replied, "I'll take you to your room, Sookie."

"No, need, Tiger." I looked up and it was Eric. I wanted to rush to his arms. I wanted to slap his face. In other words, I felt utterly torn. He bent down, scooped me in his arms, and naturally, I placed my face in the crook of his neck, my arms around him tight. We started toward the doors; he looked over his shoulder, "I'll return after I see that Sookie is safely in her room. Iain, you come with us."

I just noticed Larkin's brother. He looked lost and forlorn. I had no clue if Larkin and he had been close. The relationships between fairies, and even part human/part fae creatures like Larkin and Iain, confused me at the best of times. Still, his brother just died. He was now all alone. On that level, I could relate. He had also killed someone. Unfortunately, I could relate to that, too.

We took the stairs, which I found oddly comforting, don't ask me why. Again, Iain kept up pace with Eric, even though he was walking at that fast 'vampire' speed that he sometimes used. Once we were outside our room, he looked at Iain and ordered, "Stay put until I come back out."

He walked inside the room with me still in his arms. He closed the door with his foot and crossed the room in two strides. He had yet to say one single word to me. He placed me gently on the bed, frowned when he saw the wound on my forehead, frowned more when he saw the injury on my neck, kissed the abrasion lightly, then as he stood back up he said, "I'll be back up shortly lover. Don't let a soul into this room. I'll tell you everything. I know you have many questions, and you feel I betrayed you. Just know this, I love you." He reached out tentatively and touched my neck. It hurt terribly. It felt like I had a sore throat, on the outside.

"Shall I heal you first?" he asked, but it seemed he was asking himself. He was about to bite into his own wrist when I stopped him. I placed my hands around his wrist and shook my head no. He smiled, a sad sort of smile, and said, "Later then, loved one. I'll send Pam up to guard your door."

"Does my door need guarded?" I sat up suddenly, a bit afraid.

He tried to smile again, but even on him, it came out weak. He shrugged, "I killed Victor Madden for you. De Castro was killed as well. This is their territory, their hotel, their state, even if Madden was betraying de Castro. You might be in danger. I'm sure the Vampire Association will make a quick ruling on this, as there were so many witnesses."

"What exactly happened?"

"In due time, Sookie. I'll be back. I'm sending Iain in here, for his protection as well. Please, let him grieve in peace, and don't badger him with questions. I know how you can be." This time his smile was sincere. He cupped my cheek, kissed the top of my head and turned around quickly to leave.

Iain walked in the door as Eric exited. He gave me a weary look. I said, "I'm sorry about Larkin."

He nodded. He pointed to the edge of the bed and said, "May I?"

I nodded back and said, "Sure. Will you tell me what happened?"

He nodded again as he sat down on the edge of my bed. I took his hand, and he began. "You had just revealed that Madden was Larkin's sire. You also revealed that he and Eric had conspired together, against de Castro, to bring freedom to Louisiana. I think that Madden hoped that Eric would take over Louisiana, and then the NVA would find that de Castro was guilty of a hostile takeover of your state last year, as well as falsely imprisoning Eric, and that once they found him guilty, Madden would be named his successor," Iain revealed.

"Did Larkin know all of this? Was he a party to this, or was he merely a cog in their machine?" I asked.

Iain huffed, "If I know anything of my brother, it was a bit of both. He was being used, but he was letting them use him. Was he really brokering my freedom from Eric? Yes, he was. Did he hope to build up his blood business with a few of the richer, northern kings and queens? I believe so. Was he made to do all of this by his sire, Victor? I believe that's a yes, but he wasn't _unhappy_ to do so."

"Then why all the questions tonight?" I asked, sitting up on the bed. "He was trying to prove that Eric was planning to break from de Castro all along. If he knew about it from the start, and was being used to help Eric and Victor, why was he trying so hard to prove it? It seemed even Victor was trying to prove Eric's guilt."

Iain stared at me for several long minutes then said, "Victor's questions to you were mundane and pointless. He wasn't trying to prove Eric's guilt. He was merely playing a part for the sake of looking innocent himself, in front of his king. He knew Eric would be found innocent, would go free, and that de Castro would then be up for a trial. The Kings of New York and Ohio, and the Queen of Pennsylvania were in on it, too."

He sighed. "What they didn't count on was Larkin feeling deceived. He felt utterly betrayed by Eric and by Madden, and I'm afraid my presence here is why he felt betrayed. Yes, he worked hard tonight, under great threat to himself, to prove Eric guilty. If he had been able to prove him guilty, then I'm sure he would have worked just as hard to find Madden guilty of something. Then perhaps he would have gone free himself, he would have garnered my freedom, and he would have secured you for himself."

I didn't know the correct response to that explanation. "I'm sorry your brother was killed." It sounded sort of hollow and stupid, but what else was I supposed to say? "I'm also sorry you were forced to kill for your brother. I've killed before, too. It eats away at your heart and soul, no matter how justified. I'm sorry that happened to you as well."

The handsome man smiled and said, "I've killed before, Sookie. Don't forget, as if you could … fairies, even those of us who are only part fae, can be evil and ruthless at times. Don't give me your pity. I don't deserve it. I'm not sorry that Madden is dead. I'm not sorry I killed de Castro. I'm not even that sad that Larkin is dead." He stood from my bed and added, "I would have been very upset if you had died. No matter what hardships you've faced, no matter what evils, no matter what monsters, inside, in your heart, in your soul, you're still a good person. Remember that."

Pam opened my hotel door and said, "Knock, knock, your personal body guard is here."

Iain sat down on the floor. Pam walked into the room and sat beside me on the bed. I turned to my side, my hands under my cheek, and since I didn't have another thing to say, I closed my eyes. I needed Eric. Wasn't that the story of my life?

Sometime close to dawn, I woke up. I wasn't aware of falling asleep. Eric was telling Pam and Iain to go to their room.

"Eric? Is everything okay now?" I asked, sitting up in the bed. "Did the NVA rule in your favor?"

"We have to stay here for another day, but yes, everything will be fine. The Assembly has already ruled that Louisiana was unlawfully taken over by de Castro. I've been named temporary king. We have some paperwork to follow up tomorrow night. I don't know what they plan to do with Nevada, and I don't care." He kicked off his shoes and took off his shirt which, for the first time, I noticed was covered in blood.

I brought my feet to the floor as I sat on the side of the bed. "I was actually asking if you were finally free to come home, but I guess it's six of one and half dozen of another. You answered my question in a way. Will you have to stand trial for what happened to Victor? Will Iain have to stand trial for de Castro?"

"No," he answered sharply. Was he upset with me? He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stood from the bed and leaned against the opened bathroom doorway. I watched as he peeled off his clothes and stepped into the shower.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked.

"No, are you upset with me?" he asked, but still with a slightly angry manner.

"I should be," I said.

"As I suspected." He pulled the shower curtain so that I couldn't see him. "Sookie, it's almost daytime, I'm tired, and I'm not fighting with you. I know you have questions about everything, because you always do. I know you feel slightly betrayed because you think I used you, because I really did plan all of this, and you should feel used." He looked out of the shower and said, "Our bond makes your feelings crystal clear, my dear, but frankly, I'm not in the mood to argue, alright? Tomorrow, you can ask all the questions you want."

He closed the curtain and his voice sounded slightly muffled behind the curtain as he said, "You can hit me, slap me, call me foul names, tell me I used you, betrayed you, lied to you, whatever, and I'll listen. I'll try hard to explain to you my mindset and the reasons for everything, even though you won't see reason, but I'll not say a word on it tonight."

"Did I say I wanted to talk tonight?" I asked in a cheeky tone. If I had used that tone with my grandmother, I would have felt the sting of her hand on my cheek. Good thing this was Eric I was being sassy to, and not her.

I changed into my nightgown, went to the bathroom as he was still showering, brushed my teeth as he towel dried his body, and then I crawled into bed. He pulled the covers down next to me and when I felt the dip in the mattress, from his weight, I turned toward him.

He surprised me when he stated, "Tell me what I can do to make it all up to you, Sookie."

Gee, I thought we weren't going to talk about it. I hunched my shoulders, turned so that my back was to him again, and said not a word. He placed a hand on my shoulder and asked, "If you could have one thing, Sookie, just one wish, and I could grant it, what would it be? Would it be that I never lie again, because I guarantee that I probably will? Will it be that I'm forever faithful, because that one I can promise. I'll love you forever, and there will never be anyone for me but you. What is it?"

"I want to get married, have children, and have a normal life, but no one can give me that. Not you, not anyone. I'll never be normal. That's not your fault, but it's also not within your power to give it to me," I answered. I regretted saying it, and I was surprised that I said it, because I hadn't intended to say it. I didn't even know that was my fondest wish, not really.

His hand went up and down my arm and with a small laugh he said, "Are you certain that being married with children is normal, Sookie? Are you certain that's what you really want the most out of life? Is it the be-all, end-all of your existence? Are you sure it's what you really want?"

"I think I'm sure that it is, but apparently you're sure that it's not," I countered. I turned back to look at him. "What we have just may not be enough for either of us."

"It's enough for me, just not for you," he concluded. "You're so obtuse."

"You're so arrogant," I said with a small laugh. I turned to my back and his hand went from my arm to my stomach.

"It's my best quality, you know," he said back. "I will never be able to let you go, you know. Be it pride, or old-fashioned love, I won't give you up. That's something you have to consider. If I thought you'd be happier without me and with someone else, someone who would marry you and give you children, I'm not such a selfish bastard that I wouldn't want that for you, but I don't think there's anyone out there better for you than me."

"Vain much?" I joked. The problem was that I knew it was the truth. If he left me, my heart would break. He would probably survive, and I probably wouldn't, and I hated that fact. That was damn unfair.

He reached over to me and brushed a piece of hair away from my face, his hand resting on the bruise that I knew was on my neck. He had a deep frown between his brows. He pulled me over to him, and turned me to my side to face him. He buried his face against my neck and I swear he tried to breathe in the scent of me. It was as if he was trying to memorize my smell, my essence. His lips brushed the discolored skin of my neck, and moved over to my cheek, brushed against my mouth, and then he moved his hand slowly down my body.

He wasn't gentle. He didn't use as much care as usual. He seemed perplexed. The frown was still present on his face. His brows were still knitted together. I reached up and touched the area between his eyes. "What's wrong? Are you angry? If anyone should be angry, it should be me," I decided.

"You don't think I should be angry that I failed to protect you?" he asked. His hand reached down blindly, as if he was in a fog, for my hip, and he moved to his side, and placed my leg over his. His mouth went down my face, cascading in a line of sweet but fierce kisses, over my neck, collarbone and chest. He ripped my gown down the front, which I thought was unnecessary. I pressed on his chest … not pushing him away, but not understanding his urgency.

"Forgive me, my lover," he sighed. He pushed me from my side to my back, and suddenly I felt as desperate as he felt. His mouth moved down to my nipple, and, when he placed it in his mouth, he pierced it with his fangs and sucked hard and I arched my back and whimpered.

He pulled away, letting the nipple leave his mouth. He licked back and forth across my strained peak before his mouth moved to my stomach and over my navel. His hands cupped my backside and he hissed before he placed his tongue along the plane of my pelvic bone. He swiped a long lick across my lower abdomen and then, spreading my legs with his elbows, he moved his shoulder under my right leg, bending my knee slightly, and his tongue stabbed at me until I cried.

The pleasure I felt was as intense as the pain I felt earlier. I knew I would never share this type of passion with another living or dead being. Embarrassed, I started a gentle moaning, almost a howl of grief, and when he shifted position from my clit to my cleft, using both his fingers and his tongue. I thought I was going to die from pleasure. Pleasure born of pain. Pleasure born of need. Pleasure born of desire. I started my ascent, and with each lash of his tongue, I moved my hips and continued to cry and moan. I bunched the sheets in my hands, deep in both fists, as shudders and shivers vibrated throughout my body.

He wedged his hip between my thighs, positioned the head of his shaft against my opening and said, "Look at me, Sookie." Was he serious? I thought I might be temporarily blind, but I managed to open my eyes as he began slowly to enter me an inch at a time. He pushed lightly at first, but when he was finally buried to the hilt, he said, "No apologies for anything, ever, lover. Everything I do is for a reason. You'll come to realize that. I love you, but I won't apologize."

Did I ask him to apologize?

He kissed my mouth hard and I thought I was going to come again, immediately. He gripped my waist, and then brought his hands up and placed his elbows beside my head. He placed one hand in my hair, and touched my cheek with the other one.

Then, in perhaps the tenderest act of lovemaking he had ever shown me, he rocked back and forth gently, his head tucked between my neck and shoulder, one hand resting on one breast. I laced his other hand with mine as he bit down on my neck.

He arched up, pushing harder and harder, his eyes closed. All I kept thinking (not that it was easy to think), but I kept thinking that no matter what, I didn't want to cry, but yet all I wanted to do at that moment was to cry. Sobs began to escape my mouth, tears fell from my eyes, and the whole time he was silent.

He lifted himself slightly from me, released our hands, plunged in one last time, as hard and long as he could. That was when our eyes locked in what seemed to be a movie moment. I think he knew that he had hurt me with his lies, and with his act of love, he was saying he was sorry in the best way he knew how. It was enough, for now.

It ended with him rolling off me, biting his wrist, and placing it near my mouth. I took it gently and sucked. It was no longer morbid to suck his blood. It was intimate. It was his life force, and he was giving it to me. Nevertheless, why did I have a feeling that what should have been the ultimate pleasure was going to lead to the ultimate pain. Why did this act of love feel as if it was his final act of retribution?

He rolled to his back, holding me when I finished. I only stayed there for a minute, and then I rolled to my side and tried to face away from him, because I felt so confused. Even though I should have known how he was feeling, I was in the dark because my own emotions were all over the place. He placed his hand on my arm and forced me to face him. He brought me to his chest, his voice muted and gentle, "Fine, I'll say it, but just this once. I'm sorry."

Elton John said it best. Sorry seems to be the hardest word, and I wondered if it was enough.


	28. 28 Tickled Pink

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 28: Tickled Pink**

I was glad to be going home. We ended up spending yet another night in Las Vegas, and we weren't due to leave until the night after that. Eric explained that it was so he could tie up some 'loose ends'. That was fine with me. I found that I liked the nightlife of Vegas. Iain and I went to a human hotel and saw a real Vegas show, with showgirls (did you know they didn't wear tops?) and an Elvis impersonator. Bubba might have gotten a kick out of that. We even ate at an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet and then we played the slots. I won twenty-five dollars.

I found that I liked Iain. He was a sweet, guarded man. He was every bit as handsome as Larkin, but his beauty wasn't borderline scary. It was just plain old beautiful. I noticed that everywhere we went people looked at him. He could pass as human … a human sent from heaven above, but human nonetheless. He told me a bit about himself. His mother was human. He was raised mostly as a human, although he had always known that Fintan was his father, and what Fintan was. He had never met Niall. He found out about Larkin when he was twelve and Larkin was fourteen. They had different mothers, and to hear Iain tell it, very different upbringings.

He told me that day Larkin changed him over to a 'monster' (his words, not mine, though I suppose that's easier than to keep saying, 'part fae, part human, part vampire') was the worst day of his life. He said up until then he lived a normal life. He had a girlfriend, parents: human mother and a fairy father, but still, he knew Fintan well and had a lot of respect for the man. He also said that he had a successful career as a chef.

Then Larkin made him into the same thing he was, and his life was never the same.

He told me that he had met Hadley several times after he changed. Surprisingly enough, he told me that he had also met Hunter, Hadley's son. He said he was friendly with Hadley's ex-husband, but that the man didn't know he was (again in his words, not mine) a freak.

I truly thought Iain and I were kindred spirits. He was as lonely and scared and confused and as unhappy as I sometimes was. I hate to admit that I feel that way, because even though my life (up to now) has been filled with a lot of crazy, mixed up shit, it has also had a lot of happiness. To hear him tell it, that was an exact replica of his life.

When it was around three-thirty in the morning, we left the little casino and started back to the vampire hotel. I asked him what he was going to do with his life now. He said he honestly didn't know. We were so very much alike.

He said that Eric offered him his continued protection. We walked out of the cab, but before we entered the doors to the hotel, I took his hand.

"Iain, you don't have to go back to a life in hiding. You can go back to your normal life. I mean that maybe your former girlfriend will accept you as you are. You can go out in the daytime, so perhaps you don't even have to tell anyone what you are. You can have a very normal, happy life. You don't have to go back to Eric." Again, I felt like I was saying the words to myself.

"Yes, I do. There are vampires out there who might discover my secret, and the secret of my blood. With Larkin gone, his few clientele might search for me, and they will use me, and not kindly. Besides, I don't think I even know what normal is anymore. At least with Eric, I know I'll be taken care of, cared for, and not abused," he explained.

My God, that really was how I felt.

"Does Eric use your blood to stay awake in the daytime, sometimes?" I inquired hesitantly.

"Occasionally," he explained, "but I am compensated. I know he takes some of my blood for a few of his associates as well."

"Larkin said that my blood wasn't potent enough to really work for keeping vamps awake in the daylight. Do you know if that's true?" I asked.

He took my hand, ushered me slightly away from the doors of the hotel, under the portico, and said, "No, I don't suppose it is, because your fairy heritage isn't as pronounced as ours, and you aren't part vampire. I am truly one of a kind now. Besides, there is an extra piece of magic that is involved to make it work—fairy magic, and you don't need to know about that."

Suddenly, he grabbed me to him and hugged me tightly. While I was in his arms he said, "I want the best for you, yet I barely know you. Please, take care of yourself, and make all decisions regarding your future with only your own interest in mind."

I wasn't sure what that meant. I pushed away from him slightly, and when I did, he dipped his head and brushed his lips lightly across mine. It wasn't a romantic kiss, but I still felt tingling in my tummy. I also felt incredibly sad.

Then I heard the sound of someone clearing his throat. Iain and I turned toward the sound at the same time. Resting against the outside wall of dark windows, near the front doors of the hotel, was Eric. He held out his hand for me. He didn't say a word to either of us, but we both knew what he wanted. Iain nodded to me, then to Eric, and walked in the hotel. I placed my hand in his, and then I rushed to him, released his hand, and grabbed him tightly around the waist.

He stroked my hair and said, "Well now that you're hugging me so tight, I can't make the smart remark I was going to make upon seeing you kiss another man."

"I want to go home," I answered, as if that was what he had asked.

"I know. Everything is taken care of here, and I booked us a flight that leaves this evening, around seven pm, after we rest today. I'll be able to fly with you, in the cabin. Everyone from our party will be leaving tonight. It's a private plane, part of Anubis Air, provided by the NVA especially for us, for reparation for all our trouble."

"Ah, it's good to be king, huh?" I joked.

"About that," he started, with a sly smile, "what are your thoughts on my being king? Are you going to start calling me 'Your Highness'?" He cocked one brow in the air and swung an arm easily around my neck as we walked in the door of the vampire hotel.

I laughed, a true, hard laugh. "The day I call you 'Your Highness' is the day you show total fealty to me, buster."

"I thought as much." He smiled when he said it.

Later, after we had slept, packed, and gotten to the airport and on the plane, we were high in the air, somewhere over the United States. Eric and I sat next to each other in the front of the small plane. He took my hand and said, "By the way, fealty to you aside, I've decided not to become king."

"What?" I was shocked. "But Eric," I began, "Wasn't that what all of this shit was about?"

"Ending in prepositions again, lover?" he teased. "And no, in your eloquent phrasing, all of this shit wasn't about me being king. It was about freedom. I wanted our freedom from the Nevada vamps. I wanted freedom for our own little part of the world, or Louisiana as it may be."

"I can't believe this," I said uneasily, my head shaking this way and that. I looked across the aisle at Iain, who was sitting next to Pam. His eyes were closed, so he might be sleeping. Pam was reading a romance novel, of all things. I looked back a seat to Bill, who was on his computer. I knew they all could hear us, and the fact that none of them seemed surprised, or even interested, told me that this wasn't news to them.

I looked back in the eyes of my vampire, "Eric, don't do this for me."

He laughed, and as sincere as my laugh was before, his was just as genuine. "Oh, Sookie, that's a good one. I didn't give up a kingdom for you, although that's a very romantic notion. If I wasn't on some truthfulness kick with you, I might lead you to believe that, but since my former lies caused you so much heartache, I'm not lying to you this time."

He looked thoughtfully out the window. "Being king was never something I truly wanted. I wanted what was mine, and no more. I wanted my area back, with final say. I wanted my people safe. I wanted to conduct business as I saw fit. I wanted nothing to harm you, ever again. Simple things, really, but then again, I'm a simple man." He turned to look at me with what I can only call an impish grin.

"Simple? You're the most complex character I've ever met." I grabbed his hand. "You have a terrible temper, yet you're even-keeled most of the time. You have a single-minded sense of justice that's a bit old fashioned, yet you're also very forward thinking when it comes to business. You're so full of life, and so full of crap, that sometimes I don't know what to expect."

He was still smiling, even when he took my hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed the top of it.

"So then, who's the new king, or queen, as it may be?"

He shrugged slightly. "They haven't yet decided. I guess I am acting sovereign, but I made it clear it wasn't to be permanent. I did negotiate a bigger piece of the pie, and I asked for a slight realignment of the hierarchy when the new king, or as you said, queen, is named, so that I never have to worry about things again."

"Things?" I asked pointedly.

"Yes, things," he returned evenly.

"You mean like me?" I asked provocatively.

"Are you a thing?" he challenged.

"You know I'm not, Eric, so don't be bad," I bit back, though I knew he was kidding with me. "I just thought maybe you were giving it all up for me, or something."

The low rumble of laughter that went through him told me I was either crazy, or closer to the mark than he wanted to admit. He glowered at me, "Sookie, one would think that you have been reading as many romance novels as Pam there. Do I look like a man who would give up a kingdom for you?"

He was decidedly non-chatty after that because he closed his eyes. He kept my hand in his, but all talking ceased. Since I knew he wasn't sleeping, and I didn't think he was on 'downtime', I figured he was merely finished talking to me. Fine. I really didn't have much more to say. I was pleased, frankly. More than pleased, I was tickled pink. I always did hate all the vampire politics that came with his job, but he always seemed to thrive on it so much, but maybe he had changed.

Or maybe he was giving it up for me, no matter what he said. I looked back over at him. Then I quickly looked over toward Pam. I reached over for her book, said, "Excuse me," and I pulled the book to me and looked closely at the cover. There was a picture of a romance novel hero, long blonde hair (I kid you not), holding a woman with equally long blond hair, to his chest. They were standing on a rocky cliff; he was in a tartan kilt, and she had on a peasant blouse and skirt. The book was called, _To Tame a Charming Rogue_. I passed the book back to Pam and I laughed.

I looked at my charming rogue, bit my bottom lip, and laughed some more. No, he hadn't given it all up for me, so I squashed that romantic notion down quickly. However, he did love me.

He opened one eye to look at me, then another. Then he wiggled his eyebrows. I laughed some more. I could tell through the bond that he knew why I was laughing, and even if we didn't have the bond, Eric always had gotten my humor, even when no one else ever had.

He leaned over close to me, licked his lips, and pulled lightly on a strand of my hair to make me lean closer to him. "Have you ever made love on a plane, Sookie?" he whispered silkily.

Oh yes, I liked my rogues untamed, yes indeed, and thank you very much.


	29. 29 Not the Same

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 29: Not the Same**

I'd been home for two weeks and everything was back to normal, at least, as normal as things can be for a part Fae, telepathic waitress who is in love with a vampire. No one who wasn't part of the supernatural world would know that our state was once again independent. For them, everything probably felt the same, but for me, it wasn't the same at all.

The moment we got back home, I made Eric promise (once again) to keep me out of all vampire business from now until forever. I didn't want to have anything to do with his bar, his ambitions, his political allies, or anything. If he and I were to have any type of relationship, I wanted it to be a real relationship between a man (in this case, a vampire) and a woman (in this case, me) and nothing else. I also made him promise me that he wouldn't lie to me any longer. I told him if he had business secrets, he could keep those things from me, but anything that had to do with him and me, or just me, he had to tell me about them right away, or I would leave him and never look back.

He took me at my word, promised that he would keep our relationship separate from his business, and that he would do everything in his power to see that everyone else respected how I felt on the matter, too. Eric was super busy anyway, settling in the new king, making sure his notch in our little corner of the world was as large as he could make it, so I hadn't see him very often in the last two weeks, but when I did, it was good.

I was finally back to work, although I was only working part time now. Sam had hired two new waitresses, I even trained them, and that made me feel useful. It made me feel like I was good at something, even if it was just serving drinks and food at a bar.

My brother was back to using me … making his lunch, sewing a button on his leather jacket, but I was back to using him too … my front porch light had a short, the lock on my shed was broken, so yeah, my relationship with Jason was par for the course.

I felt better than I had felt in a long time, both physically and mentally. I didn't have bad dreams every night, only the occasional nightmare. I wasn't looking over my shoulder every five minutes, afraid of something or the other. No one was out to get me right now. I didn't have pain in my shoulder or knee every morning, or when it rained, so health wise, I was good.

I hadn't seen Iain once since we got back from Nevada. When we parted, he didn't give me his phone number, or tell me where he lived, or how to contact him. I asked Eric a few times, but he acted condescending, and told me if Iain wanted a family, he would make contact with me.

Bill had come into the bar a few times in the two weeks since we'd been back. I'm glad he and I were, for lack of a better word, friends now. I truly had forgiven him for all his transgressions, because I knew he was sorry. He often had that wistful, longing look on his face when he saw me. At least that was the same.

Eric. Well now, there's another story. As I said, he'd been busy. Real busy. They named a new king. His name was Paean Après. Eric said he was almost as old as he was, and he seemed to think he would make a good king. He would be stationed in New Orleans, which was his home, and even the place where he had lived for hundreds of years, so, in a way, he was a native of our state. Eric joked that he was good looking, so he wasn't going to introduce him to me, because he might have competition. I laughed. When it came to Eric, there was no competition. When I asked Eric what he was like, he smiled and said, "I hope you never have to know." I thought that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.

True to his word, Eric was trying very hard to keep me out of vampire politics, and I appreciated it, but in doing so, he was inadvertently keeping me out of his life, which I didn't like. In the two weeks since we'd been back, I'd only seen Eric three times, and spoken to him on the phone six times. We made love twice. Yes, I've kept track of these things. I know to someone who has lived for over a thousand years, time apart means very little. Time itself probably means very little, but to me, time was precious, and I missed him. I knew he probably could 'feel' how much I missed him, but he couldn't keep his promise to keep me out of his business and see me as well, so he was probably doing the best that he could.

Still, I missed him.

Yes, everything was pretty much the same as it was before, yet I felt as if it wasn't the same at all, and I didn't know why, and it worried me to no end. I really felt like at any moment someone was going to pull the rug out from under me, or that the sky was going to fall, or, heaven help me, the sky would fall at the same time that the rug was pulled out and I would break my neck and my leg!

These were the weird thoughts I pondered one day when I had nothing in particular to do, nowhere in particular to go, and no one of consequence to see. It was a pretty day, cool, sunny, but overall nondescript. It was still officially winter, but the sky was blue and the sun was bright and it was in the fifties today. I didn't have to work, so after I did some light housework and showered, I put on some comfortable sweatpants, sweatshirt, and fuzzy slippers, and I curled up on the couch with a book I had been meaning to read for months. After I read a few pages, I began to think of everyone and everything, so I had to stop reading completely.

After giving everyone their fair due … Eric, Jason, Bill, Sam, Iain, even Larkin, I placed my book on the sofa and stood up to examine the pictures I had lined up on the mantle over the fireplace. There was a picture of Gran, Jason and me, taken a year before she was killed. There was a picture of my parents and Jason right before they were killed. There was a picture of my cousin Hadley and I right before she left, and was eventually, killed.

My God, I really was all alone, wasn't I? I didn't want to feel sad today. I hadn't started the day out that way. I had started out thinking about things, sure, but not really feeling sad or depressed, yet the day was turning out differently than I planned. I looked at one last picture. It was a recent one. It showed my cousin Hadley's little boy, Hunter. His father, Remy Savoy, sent it to me shortly after I visited them that time. My finger swept down along the glass in a tender way, almost as if I were touching the little boy's cheek. I would never have a picture of my own little blonde haired, blue-eyed boy on the mantle, and that made me profoundly sad.

I kept the little boy's picture in my grasp and sighed, and it came out almost like a cry. I walked over to my phone and picked it up. I knew it was only a bit after four, and the chances of Eric being awake were minimal, but he was awake that one day I needed him and called him early, when Larkin was here. Well, I needed him now, too, so maybe my luck would hold out one last time.

I dialed his number.

This time, I got his voicemail. He was either still in his daytime sleep, or he was busy. Either way, it didn't really matter. I didn't really need anything. I only wanted to hear his voice, and I got to do that with his voicemail message. I left a small message in return, nothing verbose, nothing overwhelming. I merely told him that I missed him and I hoped to see him soon.

I placed that last picture back up on the mantle and decided it was official. Things were the same. And I was still a bit sad. And that was okay.

* * *

_*A/N…Yes, this was a short chapter. Yes, nothing really happened. Yes, you had to wait forever for it, and yes, there is officially only one more chapter to go. I'm sorry if this story is ending up a disappointment to some of you. (I got a PM from a reader telling me that after such a promising start, they lost all interest, mainly because they had to wait so long for updates, but also because it seemed the story went off track) The thing is, when a person has a real life, these updates aren't that long! And if the story turned uninteresting, well, that wasn't my intention. _

_By the way…does anyone know how old __Hunter__ was?_

_Frankly, in a way, I've lost interest in this story, too, which has never happened to me before, but I tend to get that way when I suspect others feel the same way. My only excuse is that I'm super busy with my jobs right now, and with writing two other stories besides this one (one even a Christmas one) plus all that real life crap that stands in our way of having fun, but I will try to give the story the proper send off it deserves. Thank You for reading and reviewing._

_Thanks to Tracy (ehee) for her recent beta work for this story and for Linda (nysnowbird) for betaing the rest. I can't believe people give so much of themselves to others for no other reward, but my thanks._


	30. 30 Don't Let the Bitches Get you Down

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 30: Don't Let the Bitches get you Down**

Nothing would ever be the same again. Somehow, I knew it to be true. I guess I always knew it, but I had always been able to deny it until now. Now, it was bare, naked, and staring me straight in the eye. The truth. The future. Wait … this was how I _started_ this story, so surely I couldn't finish it the same way. I mean, what would be the point? Besides, I no longer cared if things were the same. Who wanted things to remain the same? Not me. I craved change. I swear I did.

True, the same sentiment remained: nothing would ever be the same again. It was still staring me in the eye, the truth, ugly though it might be, and the future, a mere phantom of unknown things. They were still pulling on me, every which way, but for once, I wasn't afraid. I guess things had changed.

After I placed Hunter's picture on the mantle, I began to cry. I'm a woman, I do that sometimes, so sue me. It was close to my time of the month, and I've been very 'weepy' lately anyway. I wondered if the little boy was okay. Here I was, in my heart of hearts, a mother without a little boy, and he was a little boy without a mother. Life sure was unfair sometimes.

I walked toward the foyer, took my coat off the hook by the door, and I stepped outside. The sky had that winter look about it … almost evening, sun hiding behind clouds, more dark than light. I didn't slip my coat on my arms. I sat on the steps, with the coat over my legs, and I laid my head on my lap and I continued to cry. Sometimes all we needed was a good cry, right? It was good to cry sometimes. Purge your soul and all that crap.

I recalled how Eric told me that I made things more difficult for myself than they needed to be, and you know what, he was right. I hate it when he's right. Here I was mourning something I would never have (a son and a normal life), and in the same breath, I was practically throwing out something just as good, that was right in my lap, because … well, I don't know why I was doing it. Eric was a part of my life, good or bad, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, with a marriage license or not. Vampire politics aside, I was trying to make him deny what he was, telling him that if he loved me, he wouldn't include me in his life, yet the next moment, I would become upset with him when he hid things from me, or if he didn't include me in his life. It was a paradox, I tell you. On the other hand, maybe not. I might not know the meaning of the word.

I wasn't fair to him. He said loving me was difficult. He was right, and that wasn't fair of me. I dried my tears from my cheeks and rubbed my eyes, even as I heard my phone ringing. It was Eric calling me back. I knew it was, and I knew he would. He would always call me back. I needed to realize that fact.

Instead of answering the call, I went inside, changed my clothes to something very nice, did my hair and makeup, and when it was full dark, I got in my old car and started toward Shreveport.

As I drove, I thought of all the other things that Eric had said to me concerning our relationship. I thought about the talk we had regarding marriage, children and minivans.

_Flashback:_

_"Do you think that I don't want what other women want?" I asked pointedly._

_"I think you are not like other women, hence the reason I love you," he answered succinctly. "I know you want what other women want, however, and I can't give you those things, so that is why I can never seriously ask you to marry me, because I doubt if you could ever seriously say yes."_

_Well, that rather said it all, didn't it? I frowned and without any words coming to the forefront of my mind, I did the first thing I could think to do. I reached behind me, grabbed my pillow, and hit him on the face. "That's what you think, __Eric__ the big, bad vampire!"_

_He sat up and said, "That's what I know, Sookie the small, good human!" He took his pillow and hit me over the head._

_"Hey!" I shouted._

_We both stared at each other and then he smiled. "Sookie, you know that I can never be human again." _

_"Well, duh," I replied, eloquently, I might add._

_"I could never give you certain things that a human husband could give you," he added._

_I brought my knees up to my chin to rest my cheek on them, and turned my face toward the wall, away from him. "I know."_

_"Things like summer vacations at the beach," he said._

_"Right, vacations," I said softly._

_"Or Minivans," he said._

_"No Minivans," I repeated._

_"Or children," he said._

_I took a deep breath. I didn't repeat that one. His voice was kind and gentle. "I've been married before, Sookie. I've had children. I've experienced these things, you haven't, and if you were to marry me, you never would. It's a lot to consider, and a lot to ask of you, so that is why I have not considered asking you to marry me seriously, because I suppose I know, seriously, what your answer would be, and I do have my pride."_

_I turned my face slowly toward him. "But I do love you, __Eric__. I don't know what I want."_

How unfair of me! He was ready to give it all to me, except for the children part, which he literally couldn't give to me, and I had the gall to tell him that I didn't know what I wanted! I was such a fool.

Who's to say that even if I hadn't met Eric, or, even if I didn't remain with him, that I would meet someone, get married, and have babies? Just because I had childhood dreams that included these things, didn't mean they would have automatically have happened for me! I used to dream about being a fairy princess, too … oh wait, that one turned out to be real.

I also don't know why I worried so much about money. Eric had plenty of money, yet I talked about how I had my pride, and I couldn't take his money. Yet, according to Bill, my great-grandfather Niall left me a butt-load of money, with Bill as trustee, so I really needn't worry about that. I could do some of the things I've always wanted to do. Unbelievably, I always thought it would be nice to open my own store, a gift shop, a craft store, or maybe even a bookstore. I might have to look into that.

I was almost to Fangtasia and I still didn't know what I wanted to say to Eric. I knew one thing I would tell him was that I finally wanted to go to his house. It seemed to be something that was important to him. He asked me why it was that I had never asked to go there, and the truth was, as lame as it sounded, it never occurred to me that he would want me there. I always thought he would feel like I was a bother, but, apparently, it was something he thought about. He even asked me about it, that night at Bill's house.

_Flashback:_

_"Did you like coming here, to __Bill__'s house?"_

_"Yes, I guess," I responded._

_"Does it seem strange to you that you've never been to my house?" he asked intensely._

_I looked at his large hand as it covered both of mine. "I think it's sort of strange," I finally answered._

_"Why haven't you ever been to my house, Sookie?" he asked._

_I look over at the other wall, to avoid his stare. "You've never invited me." That sounded feeble, even to me._

_"Where do I even live?" His voice was silky. I looked at him. "You don't know, do you? Did you ever come to __Bill__'s house without being invited?"_

_"Yeah, sure," I shrugged a shoulder. I suddenly felt corrosive with guilt, and I wasn't entirely certain why. "Eric, let's take care of one of our problems at a time, okay? If we get out of this unscathed, I'll come to visit you, and I'll even bring you a house warming present, like a nice bundt cake or something, or maybe a fern."_

_"Do you think you would ever be happy with me, just me and you together, at my house, or yours, just being together?" he asked, his blue eyes watchful. Suddenly, all bravado was gone. He was just __Eric__. Just __Eric__._

_He reminded me of the __Eric__ that I first fell in love with, the one that I found wandering barefoot during the middle of the night, in the middle of January, after that witch cursed him. The __Eric__ who had forgotten who he was. It was easier to love that __Eric__. Did that mean that I loved a fake __Eric__? Was I in love with the thought of a man who wasn't even real? This __Eric__ was complicated. This __Eric__ had so many complications in his life that I merely felt like one more._

_I started to cry. "I do love you." Again, it didn't answer his question, exactly, but it was the truth, and it was the way I felt. He pulled me over to his lap, and rocked me back and forth, giving me comfort and reassurance. "I don't know what else to say, __Eric__. I would love to be able to have a normal life with you. I realize I might never get everything that I've always dreamt of: a little ranch style house, green shutters, a red door. Pink rosebushes in front, a little blond baby, who looks just like you, playing in the yard, a dog, a cat, a floral couch with fluffy pillows, but I'm not sure that matters anymore."_

_"Don't forget the minivan," he added._

_I laughed, even as I cried. "Right, no minivan, but Eric, I really mean this from the bottom of my heart, I love you, and I'll support you the best I can, but you have to start being honest with me. You have to start trusting me, and you have to make me a promise that maybe someday we might have somewhat of a normal life, if we are going to have a life together."_

_He seemed circumspect, the way he dropped my hand and stood. "You'll never have a normal life with me, but I'm selfish, and I won't give you up no matter what, even if it means no ranch house, no rosebushes, no little blond baby, who looks just like you not me, no cat, no flowery sofa with puffy pillows …"_

_"Fluffy pillows," I corrected._

_"Fluffy pillows, and no minivan, but dammit, Sookie, what I do promise you is a life full of living, a life full of love, a life with me, forever, if you want, or at least, as long as we both shall live." I stood up and threw my arms around him. He whispered in my ear, "When this is over, will you come to my house for a conventional date? I'm asking, will you accept?"_

_"Oh, __Eric__," I said frantically, pain suffusing my face. Then I answered the only way I knew how, with the same response I had given him all night. "I love you."_

Thinking over that conversation, I finally knew what I was going to say to Eric once I got to Fangtasia. I was going to accept his invitation to that date at his house. I could cook, for myself, and then we could do something normal, like watch a movie, and then maybe make love on the couch. I might even buy him some fluffy pillows. I remember how much I liked doing normal things with him. It was nice.

I pulled into the front parking lot of Fangtasia (_The Bar With A Bite_) and I shut off my car. Just like the last time I came, I stayed in my car for a moment. I admit I was a bit scared for some reason. I didn't want to come off desperate, and I still didn't really know exactly what it was I was going to say to him. Maybe I would merely tell him that I loved him, and tell him to take me home.

I saw Pam at the door. She was looking my way. She motioned with her hand that I should come to the door. I glanced quickly in the mirror and got out of the car. I had to wait at the curb for two cars to pass by before I crossed the street, and then I ran toward the door. It had begun to rain, so that was another good reason to run. I shook my hair, leaned over, and gave Pam a quick kiss on the cheek.

"How are you, Miss Pam?"

"I'm just fine, Miss Sookie," she said with ease. She smiled a warm vampire smile. I really think that Pam was probably my favorite all time vampire, next to Eric, of course. "And to what do we owe this esteem pleasure?"

"I just thought I'd stop by. I haven't seen Eric for almost a week," I said, walking through the door.

"And whose fault is that?" Eric asked from inside the bar. I was surprised to see him. He smiled at me, and though the light was dim inside, his smile was bright. I must have smiled back, because he continued to smile, grabbed my hand, and pulled me to him. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and pulled me over to the side. "I tried to call you back, lover, but you didn't answer your phone. What did you need?"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that, but I didn't really need anything," I began, "I've been feeling a little morose today, and I called earlier just to hear your voice." He seemed a bit surprised by that statement, albeit happy, too.

He put my hand up to his mouth, kissed my fingertips. "I do wish you had answered my return call, Sookie, that way you wouldn't have bothered to come all the way out here tonight."

I felt my bubble instantly burst. "Is it a bad time?"

"No, anytime I see you is a good time," he answered, pragmatically. "However, once again, I'm entertaining tonight and since you don't want to be involved in the business side of things, I thought I would warn you. Why don't you drive back to your house, and when I can get away, I'll come over and see you?"

"Who are you entertaining?" I asked cautiously. I tried to look around his body.

"The new king and several of his people are here tonight, dear one," was his answer. Ah … I see. I told him that I didn't want to meet the new king, and he was trying to honor that wish.

"I might as well say 'Hello' to him since I'm here, unless you don't want me to meet him for some reason," I said, sweet as pie.

He eyed me suspiciously. "What are you playing at, Sookie?"

"No games, Eric, I just think I should meet your new boss. He's important to you, I'm sure, and I thought I was important to you, but if I'm wrong on both accounts, well, I guess I could leave …." I let that sentence trail off, and I tried to look all-innocent, but he wasn't biting.

"What's going on here?" he asked, now a bit perturbed.

"Okay, I'll try to explain, but do you have a moment for me to do so?"

He looked over his shoulder, then back to me. "If you give me the Reader's Digest version."

How the hell would he know what 'Reader's Digest' was, I wondered. Oh well. If he wanted it short and sweet and succinct, I would give it my best shot, but since I couldn't really even articulate my feelings to myself, it might be difficult.

"Okay, here goes," I started, on the crest of a deep breath. "I've been feeling rather sad again lately, especially today, and I finally figured out that my sadness is all of my own making. I guess you could say that I had an epiphany."

"Oh really? An epiphany? How quaint." Eric smiled. "Tell me all about it, but first, are you certain that you even know the meaning of the word?"

I glared at him with the best 'screw you' look I could muster. I knew what it meant because it was once on my 'word-a-day' calendar. "Shut up and listen," I chastised.

"I know I act like I'm missing so much by being with vampires, but what I didn't realize until my epiphany was that I could be living my life to the fullest, right by your side, if I would ever give it a chance. I probably was never meant to have a normal life anyway, whatever normal means. For me, I always assumed that meant a husband, kids, a minivan, and a white picket fence, but before vampires, I had no social life to speak of, no prospects of any kind, be it because of my telepathy, or my fae heritage, or whatever, so who's to say that without vampires, I'd be married with kids by now?

"I mean, I keep waiting for something good to happen in my life, for my life to start, but it's already started! When I think of all the terrible things I've been through, Eric, I realize that I've survived all these things _because _of my association with vampires, and most of them with you by my side. I tend to take that for granted, and instead of waiting for the good things to start, and for the bad things to end, I need to look around me and see that perhaps the good things have been here with me all along.

"And it's not fair to ask you to not involve me in vampire politics, because that's part of your life. That's like you asking me not to involve you in a big part of my life. I mean, we hardly get to see each other as it is, since you aren't out in the day, and you work so much at night, and I live in a different town. If I miss you, it's because I hardly ever see you, but that's my own damn fault.

"I'm serious when I say that you're the love of my life, and I know I won't be whole unless I have you unequivocally, and I know you feel the same way for me. Maybe we need to reexamine the whole ring thing. Maybe you need to get down on your knees and convince me it's time to accept your ring. I feel ready for it."

It looked like he wanted to interrupt me so badly, but I wasn't about to let him speak yet. I wasn't done. Not by a long shot.

"I also want to go to your house. I want to see what it looks like. I want to visit you there. I want to spend the night. I want you to clear out a drawer for me in your dresser and I want to put my shampoo in your shower. I want us to be like a normal couple and do normal things. I don't really crave all the vampire excursions and excitement. But when it's just you and me, and we're doing normal things, like watching a movie, or reading a book, or doing a crossword puzzle together, or just getting ready for bed at night, well, those are the moments I pine for and I want those types of normal things, and I want them with you."

He stared at me for a long time. I swallowed hard, blinked three times and then said, "Well?"

"First of all, I asked for the short version," he said, though he smiled. I hit him on the chest. "Second, when have we ever done a crossword puzzle together? I'm sure I would remember that, because our vocabulary is so vastly different. I like to do the one in the New York Times. You like to do the one in People Magazine."

I took a long breath in and let it seep out my mouth slowly. Was he trying to goad me?

He took a step closer, leaned down slightly, and whispered in my ear, "What a brave woman you are, Sookie Stackhouse. I'm so happy that you're mine. I know what it took for you to come here tonight, and to say all of these things. You have made me very, very happy. You've made me happier than I've been in perhaps one hundred years." He wrapped his arms around me, he breathed in my scent, and I did likewise, as I sunk into the confines of his embrace.

"Would you care to meet the king?" he asked, his nose gently nuzzling my hair. I lifted my head from his chest.

"I said so, didn't I?"

"So you did. You said so much there, I almost forget half of what you said," he teased.

He took my hand, his fingers lacing with mine, and he pulled me toward his regular table. There was a vampire there, with two other vampires standing behind him. To my surprise, a tall vampire with long brown hair stood. He was as tall as Eric was, and as good looking. His hair fell in waves down his back. He had slight facial hair and his shoulders were broad. He looked as if he was right from Robin Hood times. That was the first thing that popped in my mind.

"Sookie, this is our new king, Paean Après. Paean, this is my Sookie." Eric brought my hand to his mouth and kissed the top, and then he placed it in the king's outstretched hand.

The new king smiled warmly at me. "I've heard so much about you, Sookie, from Eric and from some others. I didn't know if I was going to get to meet you or not. I asked Eric to introduce us, but he kept stalling. I was beginning to think you were a figment of his imagination. I should have known that Eric's imagination could never imagine anything as beautiful as you." He bowed his head slightly, and then he, too, kissed the top of my hand. He released it and inquired, "Have you come to join us?"

"No, Sir," I replied with my best smile. "I came to tell Eric some important news, and to tell him that I would meet him at home later." I turned to Eric. "Eric? Shall I see you later, at home?" I emphasized the word, 'home'.

He knew the implications of my words, even though no one else at the table did. He smiled with his whole face, his eyes warm and mischievous. "Why don't you wait in my office, and then we'll go home together, dear one. I'm almost done here." He motioned toward the back of the bar with his head.

I nodded, then turned to the king and said, "Nice to meet you, Your Highness." I nodded to the other two vampires, who must not be important enough to have names, and then I started to the back of the bar. It was just as well. I didn't know where Eric lived anyway. I only said what I did for his benefit.

Opening the office door, I peered inside slowly. The last time I came in here there was a half fairy/half vampire sitting on the couch. I didn't want to take any chances. The office was empty so I walked inside and sat right down at Eric's desk. I recalled my list from a few weeks ago, when I made the quasi vampire pro/con list. I called it my _'Before Vampire List'_ and my '_After Vampire List'_. Since I didn't know where that list was, I decided to start another. I figured I had some time to kill, and I felt ready to confront this now, at least with myself.

I pulled open a drawer and found a yellow legal pad. I pulled open the top drawer and found a black pen, very expensive looking. On the top of the page I wrote, "Sookie's Life with Vampires".

I drew a line down the middle of the page first, and then on the right hand side of the page I wrote, _"Pro"_ and on the left hand side I wrote _"Con"._

* * *

**Sookie's Life with Vampires:**

**Pro **

Someone to love me and someone to love

No longer lonely

Has gone to interesting places

Gotten to know about her fae roots

Finally a place to belong / Accepted

**Con**

Sometimes gets in deep shit and hurt

Feels as if my life isn't my own

Sometimes feels scared of things

Gotten to know about her fae roots

Sometimes taken advantage of

* * *

After I had four things on each sides I stopped writing. I could think of plenty more things, I was sure, but I didn't want my con side to be bigger than my pro, and frankly, since I thought of more cons than pros, I stopped writing. Eric walked in and walked around to the back of my chair. Without a word, he looked at my list. He took the pen out of my mouth (sorry, I know it's a disgusting habit), and, in his unnaturally neat cursive, he wrote under the pro **_"Magnificent sex with _****_Eric_****_ tonight."_**

I smiled and took the pen from him and put two exclamation points after it. He smiled, looked down at me and asked, "Two exclamation points?"

I nodded and asked back, "Are you done already?"

"Yes, shall we go?"

"To your house?"

"No," he said.

I looked crestfallen, I know, but I tried to hide it. I thought I made it clear to him, after my little speech, that I wanted finally to go there, but fine, I would go wherever he wanted to go, for now. I placed the pen back in his desk, folded my list and placed it in my purse, and swiveled his chair around. I couldn't get up, because he had a hand on each side of me, on the arms of the chairs.

Finally, I asked, "Where to, then?"

"We're going home," he murmured silkily. He leaned closer and skimmed his nose along my chin, and then he nipped my jaw, before kissing my neck.

I pushed him away and stood up. "You're such a big romantic sap. I swear, if half the minions in your domain knew how sweet you were, they would laugh themselves senseless."

He threw his arm around my neck and said, "Good thing you'll never tell a soul."

"I might. I might need to blackmail you someday."

"Hey, that could be on your pro side of your list, too!" he said, laughing. "Blackmailing Eric with four exclamation points after it."

He pulled me to the back parking lot and I complained, "I left my car around front."

"It will be safe there for the night. I doubt even carjackers will bother with that piece of rubbish."

"Hey, don't say bad things about my car, especially after I just called you sweet!"

"You no longer think I'm sweet?" he asked seductively, when we reached his car.

He opened the passenger side of his car and as I slid in I said, "Sweet my ass."

He got in his side, reached over, pinched my butt and hummed, "Yes, it is sweet."

We drove for over a half an hour. We were on the outskirts of town, near the highway, when he turned his car into a nice subdivision. Yes, the houses here were nicer than most, but they weren't mansions. I turned to look at him. "Is this your neighborhood?"

"Yes," he answered. The houses weren't piled close together, and there were lots and lots of trees. Each house was on a least a quarter to a half an acre lot, and most were two stories, with two and three car garages. Most of them were brick. We pulled to the end of cul-de-sac, on a hill, with tons of trees in front, and at the end was a very long drive way, and a well maintained, two story house, which I couldn't full appreciate until we drove down the driveway and parked the car.

"Is this where you live?" I asked. I stared up at the house from the car. It was beautiful, but, still, rather normal. Almost suburban. I could picture a minivan parked in the driveway, and some fluffy pillows inside.

"Yes," he said readily. He was out of the car in a flash and he pulled on my car door. He took my hand. "What do you think?"

"It's not what I expected," I answered honestly.

"What did you expect?" He leaned his long frame against the car and folded his arms. He had an amused grin on his face.

"I don't know," I said, folding my arms to ward off the cold. "Maybe it's too dark out here to see it well, but I thought you would live in a bigger house, not that this isn't grand. I mean, you could fit four of my houses in this one house!" I stepped on the sidewalk that led to the front porch and stared up at the house.

I continued, "I thought you would live in something modern, mostly glass, or maybe something gothic, like a castle, with a dungeon."

He laughed. He walked behind me and said, "A castle? With a moat and a tower?"

"Maybe, and chains on the walls," I laughed. "I don't know, something more like a crypt or something."

"A CRYPT?" he repeated loudly. He threw his head back and laughed.

I laughed too and said, "That can be my nickname for you. Crypt keeper."

I looked over at Eric and he did something I hadn't seen him do in a very long time, or maybe, never. He laughed. A real, long, hard, belly laugh. He grabbed my hand and said, "Shall we enter my crypt?"

"Are you inviting me in?" I asked.

"Can I rescind my invitation later?" he asked. He pulled me into his arms. We stood on his porch, under the glow of a security light, and he placed his arms tightly around my body.

"Never. You may never rescind my invitation," I assured him breathlessly. Lord, I felt so happy for a change.

"Good," he answered. He reached for the doorknob, put a key in the lock, pushed it open and said, "Welcome home, Sookie. Welcome home."

* * *

_A/N: I'm such a little liar, for this is not the last chapter. There will be one more chapter after this one. I usually have a weird thing about ending chapters on a 'odd number', but I want to write about Sookie's reaction to Eric's house, as well as their last love scene, to be the end…well, not really the end, as I also have a little shocker planned, but I don't have time to write more before Christmas, and I wanted to go ahead and give everyone this, so now I do promise…ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS AND THEN THAT'S THE END!_

_By the way, thanks to 'tben' for a review which put me on the right track for this chapter, and also, thanks to 'nycsnowbird' for a very insightful email regarding her take on Eric and Sookie's relationship per this story, so far. Both of them helped me change the course of this story slightly. Thanks to 'ehee' for being a super fast beta and again to 'nycsnowbird' for going back and betaing the earlier chapters, before I had a beta. Long live SVM, __Eric__, and Sookie. I'll never give up my Dramione (and I'm having way too much fun writing my 'Christmas story' right now) but I've enjoyed writing this so much and I can't wait to finish it so I can start another one, and then the sequel. _


	31. 31 The Last Chapter's Full of Surprises

**Close to Dead**

**Chapter 31: The Last Chapter is Full of Surprises**

I was standing outside Eric's house and I asked, "Are you inviting me in?" just as he pulled me into his arms. As we stood under the glow of his porch light, he asked me, "Can I rescind my invitation later?"

I wanted to correct HIS grammar for a change and say, "I don't know, CAN you?" because the correct word should have been, 'may' not 'can' but I was in too good of a mood to be a wise-ass, so I merely smiled at him and assured him breathlessly, "Never. You may never rescind my invitation." And I meant it this time. I really did. I felt so happy and resolute. I felt like I had come full circle. I felt like all of this was finally over, and I was at the end of my road, and I liked it here at the end.

He reached for the doorknob, said, "Good," and then unlocked the door. He pushed it open and said, "Welcome home, Sookie. Welcome home."

I have to admit, if the house wasn't what I expected on the outside, then I was really thrown by the inside. It wasn't just a house … it was truly a home. A real home. A very nice home, with expensive furniture, and tasteful paintings and decorations, but still a home just the same.

He must have been able to tell that I was in awe, because he actually came up to me and closed my mouth by putting his finger on my chin and pushing upwards. "What were you expecting? Oh, let me guess," he said, his hands behind his back, his smile a mile long, "since you said you thought I lived in a castle—"

"Or a crypt," I interrupted.

"Or a crypt," he corrected, "then you expected chains on the walls, coffins instead of couches, medieval torture devices throughout the house, and what else?"

"You could still have those things," I remarked, not answering his question. "I haven't seen beyond the foyer and the living room. For all I know, your bedroom is painted black and there's an iron maiden in the corner."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him. "I keep the iron maiden in the bathroom with the sabers."

"Ah," I replied. I placed my head on his chest. "This seems so surreal, but really nice. Give me the grand tour."

He walked me around the rest of the house. It was one of the nicest houses I had ever been in that wasn't a museum or something, but it looked like Eric. Each room had a bit of him in it, whether it was a book or a painting, or even something simple, like a picture of me.

We were in his master bedroom, with its big mahogany four-poster bed, large furniture, warm golden walls and burgundy bedspread, and I noticed a black and white photo of me in a small black wooden frame by his bed. I was in my Merlotte's t-shirt, my hair was in a ponytail, and I was looking over to the side. I picked it up and sat down on the bed. He stood beside me.

I looked up. "When was this taken?"

"I'm not sure," he shrugged. "It was when you were seeing Compton. I was having you investigated, and the investigator took it." He placed it back on the bedside table.

I looked up at him and I wanted to be angry, but he was truthful, and so what if he once had me investigated. It was a very smart thing to do, he was a smart man, and it was a very 'Eric' thing to do. I said simply, "I'll get you a better picture."

"I like this one. You look innocent and unaware. It's before, you know?" He picked it back up, looked at it for a moment, and then placed it back.

The thing was, I did know. I leaned back on his bed, kicked off my shoes, and placed my arms behind my head. "So, this is a very nice house, Eric. Four bedrooms, four bathrooms, although why you need four baths is beyond me, a kitchen, a dining room, a living room and a what, a den?"

"I suppose you can call it a den," he replied. He moved my legs slightly to sit facing me. He placed a hand on my knee, partly under the skirt of my dress.

"Why such a big house for just one person? You don't live in a nest do you?" I was slightly worried suddenly. I hadn't thought of that. I knew Pam didn't live with him, because I had been to her house before, but still, one never knew about these things.

"No, I live alone. I like to be alone. I need my solitude sometimes, and the same could be said for you, Miss Stackhouse," he began. His hand was rubbing little circles on my thigh and was driving me wild. "Your house is too big for you. You have four bedrooms, two baths, which you can only use one at a time."

"But it's where I've always lived, it's my home, and it's been in my family for generations," I explained.

He brought one shoulder up in a half-hearted shrug. "I'm just saying."

"You're not saying anything, Eric, but you don't have to explain. I really like this house a lot."

"Did you like that room across the hall?" he asked, almost as if it was an afterthought. His hand was still rubbing my thigh, higher now. His head was bent, and he was looking down at my chest.

I closed my eyes slightly, hummed, and said, "A … sure, yeah, it was nice, which room was that again?"

"The one with the light pine furniture, and the green bedspread. The one painted that strange, I don't know, salmon color. Did you like that room?" He was now leaning closer to me, and he was kissing my neck and shoulder between words. The hand that was under my skirt was still doing wicked, wicked things under there, and his other hand was pulling and pushing at the top of my dress, so that he could get to my breasts.

I hummed again, like a hummingbird. "I think I liked that room fine. I recall it was nice," and this was nice, too. _Whoa,_ this was really nice.

He placed both hands on my waist and pulled me down so that I was on my back. He leaned over me, and kissed me hard on the mouth, and then he placed small kisses on my chest and breasts (HEY! When did the top of my dress get pushed down to my waist?) and he asked, again, between kisses, "Did you notice the large closet in that room, and one of the four bathrooms was a private bath to that room. You noticed that, didn't you?" He bent his head, placed his lips on my right nipple, and sucked.

I almost came up off his bed. My hands clutched his shoulders; I sighed, a ragged breath and moaned, "What?" Were we still having a conversation about one of his spare bedrooms?

He moved his face to the other breast, his hair tickling the valley between my breasts as he did so and he rained small kisses around that nipple. His voice was low and pitched, "That room, it can be painted, and I can buy new furniture, if you'd rather. Or, you can share this room with me, but I rather assumed you would want your own room, and this one is rather dark, and I sleep mostly during the day." He licked that nipple back and forth until it almost burned and then he nibbled his way down to my stomach, ripping my dress right off me as he went.

He was licking the spans of skin above my lacy underwear when he looked up, his chin on my hipbone, and he said, "Well, did you like that room?"

"What?" I asked again. NO, I'm not dense. NO, I'm not ignorant. What I was was horny as hell and this man took this moment to ask me to move in with him, and frankly, it wasn't going to fly. Once again, he had terrible timing, just like the time he asked me to marry him, and this time, I wasn't going to give in to him.

Therefore, I played the dumb, blonde, southern hick. I pulled at his shoulders, brought his face back to mine, kissed him as hard as I could, and then I said, "I don't know what you're trying to ask me, but yeah, it was a nice room, just like the rest of the house." So there. If he wanted to ask me to move in with him, he could ask me AFTER sex.

I tried to push him to his back, so that I could straddle his waist, but he pushed me to my back instead, straddling me, and though I was now completely naked, (I remember the bra going, but not the panties) he was still fully dressed. He took my wrists in his hands, placed them by my head, and placed his nose next to mine.

"Sookie, dearest, beloved, lover, this may be unconventional, and I know it may be too serious for you, and I know you would rather commence with the sex, and one of the things you like best about me it that I'm straightforward, henceforth—"

"OH MY GOD!" I shouted. "JUST SHUT UP and ask me already!"

He let go of my wrists and rocked back slightly. He looked amused, not angry. He smiled and said, "I'm not really asking you to move in, but when you do come to visit, or stay, would you like it if we made the room across from mine your own room? That way, you could put your own things in the closet and the drawers, your books and things on the shelves, my picture in a frame on the bedside table, and your shampoo and soap in the bathroom. You would have your own little haven. Only if you want."

"You big, bad vampire, you," I answered.

"What the hell does that mean?" He fell off me and sighed.

Again, sighing for a vampire was such a forced thing … so human … and so useless, since they didn't breathe. I got up on my elbow, began to unbutton his shirt, and said, "What that means is that you are such a sweetie pie, although I think you would rather I not call you that. I think that would be a mighty fine thing, and something not many lovers would consider, you know, a space of my own. Goodness knows, Bill hated me even to touch most of his things, afraid I would place a book that started with a P with the G's or something. Or maybe I might break one of his precious pieces of electronics. I like that room and would be thrilled to call it my own, so thank you, Eric."

He closed his eyes and said, "Was that so hard?"

"No, but this is," I purred, reaching down to pat his penis through his pants. He opened one eye first, then the other, and he grinned, a wicked, wicked grin.

"He's always hard," he grinned.

"He's a he?" I asked.

"He's certainly not a she," he laughed. He finished undressing, very quickly, and then he pushed down the covers of his bed. I reached down for him again. He was long and hard and all mine! Sometimes I felt so empty, and it seemed only Eric could fill me up, in many ways, not just the naughty ways. He filled my endless ache, if that made sense. I continued to stroke him and I told him as much.

He told me I was a sweetie pie, too. Whatever.

I continued to stroke him, to show him just how 'sweet' I could be, and his eyes closed, and the muscle in his jaw clenched tightly. I caressed his length slowly, an inch at a time, with both hands, almost mesmerized by the length but also the basic beauty of the man. He reached for me, his fingertips digging into my hips, and he brought me closer to him.

I bent my knees, straddled his body, and continued to work his shaft with my hands. I leaned over so that the tips of my breasts brushed against his thighs. I finally rose up and took him inside me, deep as I could, and I squeezed my inner walls as tightly as I could.

His eyes popped back open. I guess he liked that. He said something in a language I didn't understand, and with his hands back on my hips, he began to move me to the rhythm that he liked best. I let him take control. My hands went to my own breasts. He once told me he liked it when I did that, and, I have to admit, I rather liked it, too.

He flipped us over and slammed into me harder, his mouth suctioned onto one of my breasts, drawing blood, ensuring pleasure, bringing on a climax that was sure to be exploding! The next thing I knew, I was racked with a whirling orgasm just as he was sinking his fangs deeply into my throat, his mouth fastened on tight, sucking with all his might.

I tried to hold on … to the mind-blowing orgasm, to the powerful feeling of need and lust that was emitting from him to me from the taking of blood, and also to the fact that I loved this man more than I ever loved anything, but I couldn't hold on … I let go.

I woke with a wet cloth on my head and Eric beside me, saying gentle things. I had never passed out during sex before. How weird. I opened my eyes from the blackness and looked up at his concerned face. "What happened?"

"I fucked your brains out," he said, perfectly seriously.

I stared at him for a moment; he didn't even smile, but still, I started to laugh. I knocked his hand and the wet cloth away from my forehead and I continued to laugh. He joined me. He threw the cloth on the ground, bundled me into his arms, pulled the covers over the both of us and kissed the top of my head.

I was on the verge of sleep, after a great laugh and the great sex (did I mention the word 'mind-blowing'?) when Eric decided he wanted to talk.

"Do you see yourself moving in here, or merely staying once in a while?" he asked.

If I didn't know better, I would say that 'Eric the Sheriff of Area Five' seemed a bit unsure of himself. I rested my head on his chest, clasped his hand in mine, and said, "I'm not ready to give up my house, but now that I know it's important to you that I come here sometimes, and now that I know I'm welcome, and that it's a nice house, I'll feel more inclined to come." I looked up at him and said, "Especially since I have my own bedroom and bathroom. That's really nice."

"Hmm," he said. I didn't know what he meant by that. "Do you want to start wearing the ring I gave you anytime soon?"

"Oh," I managed. I looked up at him again. I sat up in the bed, pulling the sheet under my breasts. "You mean, now that Vampires and Humans can marry in Louisiana, and since you did basically already ask me, you want us to … what?"

He rolled his eyes. "Never mind, Sookie. You played dumb earlier, with the room incident. Don't play dumb now. It's unbecoming and insulting to us both. We'll discuss it at another time. I won't ruin tonight." He turned so that his back was facing me and he punched the pillow twice and let out a growl.

A real, actual growl.

I touched his shoulder hesitantly. "I'm sorry I played dumb," I apologized. "I'll think about the marriage thing, I promise you. I have a lot to consider."

He turned to face me. I scrunched back down in the bed, under the covers, and faced him. "Like what? I am sincerely curious. Tell me one of your main concerns, and I shall try to alleviate it."

"Okay," I said brightly. That seemed fair, since he said it so calmly. I reached over for his hand to lace it with mine. "There's the whole me being a human, mortal and all, you being a vampire. I don't want that to change."

"I told you that I would never, ever change you without your consent, and I won't let anyone else do it either, just to make that clear," he said. He looked so serious, suddenly.

"That's not what I meant," I whined. I took a deep breath. How was I going to say this?

"What, Sookie?" he urged.

"Well, someday, I'll be old. Old and grey. And ugly. And wrinkly. And flabby. And have illnesses and aches and pains and swollen joints and you'll still be Eric, young, handsome, with a great butt. You won't still want me, and by that time, even if I would change my mind and want to become a vampire, you wouldn't want an old, unattractive me. In addition, I'm human, so I could get sick. What if I got cancer, or something? Or a heart attack?"

He let out a little laugh, leaned over, and kissed my nose. He stroked my hair from the crown of my head to my shoulder and said, "Sookie, these are concerns that I wish you had told me before, and I could have alleviated a long time ago." He seemed to stop, so that he could think of what to say next.

"Sookie, you've had a great deal of my blood, as well as Bill's blood," he explained. He had my attention. I sat up in the bed again. He did as well. "You know that our blood makes you stronger."

"Yeah, well, I know it's healed me before, and made my hair shinier, and my reflexes faster, and so?" I stumbled over my words. What was he trying to say? "I'm not going to turn into a vampire by accident, am I? I'm not going to turn into you, am I? One day, I'm plain old Sookie and the next day I wake up with an aversion to garlic, sunshine, and all things polyester?"

He laughed. "I do hate polyester. It doesn't breathe. What I am trying to say is that it makes you stronger, it makes you healthier, and it even improves your looks to a certain degree. That, along with your fae heritage, which also brings with it a longer lifespan, well, I suppose we have many, many years before it looks as if you are robbing the cradle with me."

"You mean, I'm not aging the way I should?" I asked. I know as a vain, southern girl, that fact should make me happy, but I was, in essence, shocked.

"No, you're not aging the way you should," he repeated. "Physiologically, you are probably ten years younger than you are chronologically, and I think your aging will slow even more as you get older. This is somewhat uncharted territory, but I imagine that you will appear to be about thirty years of age when you reach about fifty-five or so."

"But how will I explain that to people?" I asked, appalled.

He shrugged and answered, "Good genes, good plastic surgeon, why bother saying anything at all? As I said, most of this is speculation, but I discussed this with your great-grandfather Niall before he went to the other realm, and he agreed with me. You know that Larkin and Iain are much older than they appear, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but they're vampires, and they have more fairy blood then I do, because their father was my grandfather," I said, trying to work it all out in my mind.

"Being a vampire didn't cause them to appear as young as they did, although it did stop their aging," he explained.

"How old are, I mean, was, I mean," I sighed, "how old IS Iain and how old WOULD Larkin be, if he was still with us?"

"About eighty, I think. They were born during or before the great depression, I believe, in about 1929." He puffed up his pillow, so he wasn't paying attention to me when I whacked him upside the head. "OUCH!" he exclaimed, though I doubted it hurt. "Why did you hit me?"

"EIGHTY?" I shouted. "They looked thirty!"

"Hence my assessment that you might look about thirty at sixty," he said.

"You said fifty earlier!" I countered.

"Fifty, sixty, who cares, most women would be thrilled with this news, but not you, oh noooo, Sookie Stackhouse has to have drama wherever she goes," he complained. He hopped out of bed and said, "If we aren't going to have a nice discussion about our living arrangements, and you aren't going to have sex with me again right away, I'm getting a shower."

"Hold on, buddy," I exclaimed.

He turned slowly. "Buddy? I love it when you call me that. It's so … archaic and, how shall I say it, low class."

I reached over the bed, threw his boxers to him, and then threw his shirt over my naked body. I climbed on top of the bed and said, "Okay, let's talk some more. You say I'll live a bit longer than most humans. Fine, that's really a good thing, and not a problem, but I still don't think I can live here right now, and I'm still not one hundred percent sure I want to get married, and it has nothing to do with you being a vampire, or me not loving you enough, it's more because I'm not sure I would make a good wife!"

There! I said it, in a rambling, run-on sentence sort of way, but still, I got to the heart of the matter. I sat down on the bed and hung my head.

He slipped on his shorts and sat next to me. "Why do you say that?"

"Because to me … oh, never mind, you won't understand," I complained.

"You don't know that. Explain." He reached for my hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed each finger once, then turned it over, kissed the open palm, then placed it on his lap.

"I made a decision tonight, before I came to see you, you know," I started.

"Go on, although what one thing has to do with the other, I'm not sure," he expressed.

I closed my eyes a moment, to give myself strength. I held his hand so tightly with both of mine, and brought it over to my lap. I was stalling, but I finally said, "I decided tonight that having kids wasn't the most important thing in the world to me, okay? But yet, somehow, in my mind, marriage and kids are still wrapped up together in a neat little package, and I'm not sure I need one, if I'm never going to have the other." There, I said it. Now I had to wait for his response.

"How does that make you not a good wife?"

"How can I be a good wife, if I can't give you a child?" I asked plaintively. I looked up at him, and I half expected him to laugh at me. He didn't laugh. He smiled a sweet, loving smile. A tear came to my eye, and he looked at me tenderly, cupped my cheek, leaned over to kiss the tear away, and I almost lost it completely.

"Dear Sookie, my lover, my friend, my wife in my heart," he began, "I want you by my side because I love you, because of the companionship you will give me, because of the endless nights of lovemaking, and because of the laughs we will share. I've had children, I've had marriages, I've had many things, and it's not that they are overrated, because they aren't, but they aren't you. I want you. Do you want me?"

"Yes," I said, though my voice broke.

"Then everything else will work out and find a way. I won't push you. You take your time and make the decision that's right for you, alright? For now, it's a good start that you know where I live, you know you have a bedroom of your own here, and you know that I still want to marry you someday. The rest will find a way." He brought an arm around me, held me, and let me cry.

I didn't even know why I was crying again. Hell … like I said before, I'm a woman, it was close to my time of the month, and he was being unbearably sweet and not at all like the asshole that he can sometimes be, so I was entitled to cry.

After my tears, we made love again. It was slow, tender, and unyielding. After that, we shared a shower, where we made love a third time. We dressed (he already had some clothes for me in my new closet, neat huh?), and we went down to his den to watch a movie before dawn.

He forced me to watch an old Marx Brothers movie called, "Duck Soup". He even laughed harder than I had ever heard him laugh. He reminded me a bit of Groucho … a bit naughty, a bit nice, talking a bit over my head, but I didn't tell him that. However, he did tell me that I reminded him of Harpo. I wasn't sure why that was. Maybe because he was blonde? It couldn't be because we were both silent. I sure as hell didn't play a harp.

Dawn was fast approaching and he and I were both tired. I put the DVD back in the box and he stood up and yawned.

"It was a good night, wasn't it, Sookie?"

"Yep, there's nothing like a good old, regular night at home," I agreed. He placed an arm around my shoulders and we walked down the hall toward the stairs to head upstairs when there was a knock at his door.

He frowned.

"What?" I asked. "You don't get many visitors, I take it?"

"In case you didn't notice last night, I do live in a gated community, and since the guard at the gate didn't call and tell me there was someone coming, then it has to be someone who has clearance," he said, still frowning.

Actually, I didn't really notice the gate when we entered his neighborhood, but, of course, he didn't stop for the gate. "You mean it's someone who should know better than to interrupt you right before dawn?" I asked.

"I mean, it's someone who should know better than to interrupt us on our first night at home together," he corrected.

Oh, well, that was sweet, too. He walked to the door and looked out the peephole. He placed his forehead on the door and groaned.

"What is it?" I asked, running up to him. I placed a hand on his back.

"It's Iain," he replied with exasperation.

"Open the door," I insisted. I moved him aside, and opened the door for him.

Iain stood there, in the predawn light, and the first words out of his mouth was, "Cousin, Pam told me that I could find you here. Eric, I'm sorry to interrupt you and Sookie, but I have rather grave news and as it concerns Sookie, I didn't want to wait."

I pushed Eric back to let Iain in, but then I said, "Do you need to be invited in?"

"No, I've been here before, although, may I come in?" He looked at Eric, unsure. Eric nodded.

"What is it?" I asked, taking his hand in both of mine. I felt Eric behind me. Eric must have been able to sense that it was bad news as well, because he closed the front door and then he braced me by placing both his hands on my shoulders.

"Hadley's ex-husband and his current wife were both found killed last night in their home. They were murdered, most viciously," he explained.

I sucked in a breath, looked back at Eric. "Oh no. What about Hunter? Is that little boy okay?"

Iain nodded. "Yes. Oddly enough, Larkin monitored the little boy, and he kept in touch with the boy's father. Larkin was listed, for some reason, as next of kin. When the police couldn't contact him, they contacted me. Hunter is in their custody. He's all alone now, Cousin. He's all alone."

That poor little, motherless boy, was now also fatherless. My heart ached for him. I leaned against Eric's chest. "What are you going to do?"

"I've been thinking about it for the last few hours. I've been alone for so long, and I've been resigned to being alone, but maybe that's not how my life is meant to be. I know it will be hard, being what I am, but I can pass as human, and my vampire status isn't known, so I'm thinking that I would like to try to petition, as the closest relative, to raise him myself," he reasoned.

I felt as if someone had hit me squarely in the chest, and had knocked all the wind right out of my body. My legs almost buckled. Eric reached his arms around my waist to hold me upright. "Oh … really?" I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't picture Iain raising that little boy, and I suddenly I had a flash of something different … a different future. A future that included me. Maybe this was meant to be. Maybe I was meant to take care of this little boy.

I think Eric could sense my thoughts, because he moved away from my back and faced me. He said carefully, "Sookie?" That was all he said. Just my name, formed as a question.

Iain looked at me confused and he asked, "Unless, of course, you would have designs on doing the same. Do you? You would be a closer relative than I am. Is this something you would contemplate, Sookie?"

I looked from Iain to Eric and then I moved to sit on a bench by the door. What in the world was I going to do now?

THE END

* * *

_A/N: So a weird way to end things, but I really, really wanted to have an open ending because of the idea that I have for a sequel. I can't promise when I will start the sequel, because I have the need to write something original next, but I usually write many things at once, and my beta reminded me that I could still start the sequel and only write like a chapter every couple of weeks if I wanted._

_By the way…I need help with the title for the next story. I would like to keep the continuity of the word "Dead" in the title, so any help with a title would be appreciated._

_Thanks to everyone who supported me during the writing of this story. I have to admit, it took me longer to write this story than it's ever taken me to write any other story, but it's not because it wasn't important to me, it was more because it wasn't as familiar to me as my Dramione stories. Thanks to some of you who have jumped over from the SVM ship to read some of my HP stories. I appreciate it!_


End file.
